Can I ask friend not to bring her partner round?

[Biytrer]

She's house/pet sitting for me. I mind her pets when she goes away too. I'm leaving her with a full fridge and some spending money for a takeaway etc.

I've a house with big garden and she's in a high rise flat so she does enjoy minding the house.

She has a partner now who I've only met once. She asked if her partner could stay with her the weekends (2)

I felt put on the spot but I really am not wanting this to happen. I barely know the person. We have lots of personal items around the house. I trust my friend completely but I don't know this other person. My husband really isn't happy with them being in our bed (there isn't anywhere else to go)

Is it really bad to ask the person doenst stay over?

She doesn't have to stay over. She just wants to. A professional pet sitter can come in just to tend to the animals.
So no , nobody needs to sleep in the bed actually.

I think the best option is she stays at yours during the week then goes home at weekends so she can see her partner.
The problem is you've said yes so now she'll have told her boyfriend he's invited. That's an awkward conversation.
Tbh I think you shouldn't feel obliged to have people overnight in your home let alone your bed whatever the circumstances. You don't have to think they're a theyre a snooper.
Would your husband be willing to take 'the blame' for this one?

I don't think you're being unreasonable. If you're not comfortable about it, for sure tell her and explain why. We're all different, and shouldn't judge eachothers comfort levels. But lucky you , and her, having eachother to take care for your fur babies while you're away, that's a huge relief

Your bed's a personal place and a sanctuary. I'd hate a couple to sleep in mine partly in case they had sex.
It'd never feel the same.
I know others who couldn't care less but we are all wired differently.

There's always an excuse for every scenario. I'd consider saying something like that when people come round it stresses the animals so you'd rather they had a bit of space over night. You could put her off by saying your child threw up all over your bed the night before but don't worry you've wiped down the sheets!😂
It's best though to have an excuse you can use again in the future in case this crops up again!

I have very obvious cctv in my living room, landing and outside so if a neighbour feeds my cats it's reassuring to just know what's going on if I want to even though I trust her personally.

Making excuses might feel cringeworthy but sometimes a white lie's so much easier than actually saying "I don't want you to have sex in my bed and I hate other people's feet on my sheets"!😂
Even if they can guess it's an exaggeration/not true they will also always think it might actually be true or get the hint you're just not comfortable - which isn't a crime!

Never feel obligated to do anything you don't want to especially in your own house!!! A good friend won't make you feel obligated. If she finds it too far away/too many days to go round on the trot without staying you could suggest she do some days and say a trustworthy neighbour do a few others.

I wouldn’t want a stranger staying in my house either so I always send my dogs to a dog sitter instead (it’s costing me £540 for a 2 week stay for 2 dogs this summer), I get that you help each other out for free but 10 days is a long time to be in someone else’s home so I don’t think you can expect her to not see her partner that whole time, filling the fridge, having additional work to do isn’t really compensation if your expecting her to spend her weekends in a way she normally wouldn’t. As I say though I wouldn’t want someone staying in my home and definitely wouldn’t want anyone in my bed so perhaps the best thing to do is look for alternatives to cover longer periods. If she were only staying for a few days for instance then I think asking her to not have anyone else in the house would be reasonable.

She asked. You can say no.