Can I ask friend not to bring her partner round?

[Biytrer]

She's house/pet sitting for me. I mind her pets when she goes away too. I'm leaving her with a full fridge and some spending money for a takeaway etc.

I've a house with big garden and she's in a high rise flat so she does enjoy minding the house.

She has a partner now who I've only met once. She asked if her partner could stay with her the weekends (2)

I felt put on the spot but I really am not wanting this to happen. I barely know the person. We have lots of personal items around the house. I trust my friend completely but I don't know this other person. My husband really isn't happy with them being in our bed (there isn't anywhere else to go)

Is it really bad to ask the person doenst stay over?

Yeah I think you have to give her an out if you’re not happy with it – she might, quite reasonably, not be up for that length of stay if she has to be by herself the whole time

Bear in mind that while it might be nice for her to have space and access to a garden, she may also be politely emphasising that it’s ‘no trouble’ and the truth may be that travelling back and forth is loads more hassle for her than being in one place, even if it’s not her own home.

I think you’re being unreasonable. My boyfriend recently dog-sitted for his friend for a week, and I stayed over for 3 days. He would’ve got really bored otherwise.
I’ve only met the friend once but they trust my boyfriend, and it’s not like I was there on my own. He was there with me the whole time.

I don’t think you can expect your friend to be there alone when she’s doing you a huge favour.

I genuinely don't see the difference. It's a bed. As long as the sheets are clean, I really couldn't care less lol.

I sleep in other people's beds all the time when I house-sit. Clean sheets and away we go - it's really not a big deal.

Well presumably she still has to go home to feed her seven small pets that aren’t her dog so she’s travelling back and forth regardless!

YANBU

She’s a big girl, she can handle two weekend without her precious boyfriend.

I really wouldn’t want a strange man in my house, specially when I’m not even there.

Is she a reasonable person, or will she have a tantrum, or bring him there secretly?

It wouldn't bother you. Congratulations. It would bother a lot of us, including the op. You are welcome to have as many people as you'd like to fuck in your bed, no one is stopping you.

I'm not asking her to be alone?!

She can go out whenever she wants.

Do you think on a normal day someone is with my dogs 24/7?

As long as they're walked and fed she can be where she wants, when she wants, with who she wants.

I just don't want him staying in my bed.

When I mind her animals I Dobt sit there all day alone listening to Lweis Capaldi with tears in my eyes.

I do the necessary jobs and get on with my life.

Its not prison.

I apologise for saying you were mean before. I wouldn't want someone with horrific BO in my house, it's a major pet peeve of mine, keeping clean isn't hard, soap isn't expensive. I've changed my mind YANBU

No, she's bringing them with her x

I wouldn’t want a stranger in my house. She can sleep at home if he’s staying over surely.

Are you always this aggressive or do you save it until Saturday day night on MN to get it out of your system?

If you say he can't stay over, what will you do if she turns round and says "fine, I won't do it then"? Can you find (and afford) last-minute pet care?

And if you're away and she does it anyway, there's not much you can do until you're back.

It wasn't actually BO. Well it was, but it was mostly stale urine 😭

Well not necessarily – her partner might be feeding and looking after them day to day

Who pissed on your chips?

What's with all the drip feeds?

YANBU - I wouldn't want some stranger sleeping in my bed either.

And it's absolutely not the same as staying in a hotel, which is an anonymous space with no personal items left lying around. I'm stunned by all the posters who think you're being unreasonable for wanting to control who comes into your house and who sleeps in your bed!

Yanbu

I don't think I would want someone bonking in my bed , Fluids and that 🤢

You have the perfect excuse, say to your friend that you've talked about it with your husband and whilst you don't mind him visiting during the daytime, your husband really doesn't want another bloke sleeping in his bed!
Pass it off as one of his foibles and say he would prefer it if you went home to sleep for those two days.
Personally, I don't see any reason for them to stay at your place for the weekend anyway.
Oh, and just in case anyone decides to say we're not living in the 1950s and Wifey must ask Hubby's permission. It's his home and bed too.

Oh no, nooo that's worse, she's willingly sleeping with pissy keks? Christ. That man wouldn't be in my house at all, nope. That smell lingers too, if you have fabric sofas oh no, nope

Just saw your update about his poor personal hygiene. You are ABSOLUTELY NBU!! Bleugh! Stinky strange man in my bed? No way!!!

If u started off with this information I'd probably be charged with being a piss troll on a weird jolly seeking adventure

How far away does she live OP. ?
I don’t like the idea either, of him staying over in your bed and bedroom.

I would make sure there was a single bed all made up for her nicely somewhere else in the house. And then discreetly put valuables away in your bedroom and lock it.
Message her and say you have renewed your insurance recently and would therefore prefer her to sleep in the other bedroom which only fits a single bed. Then tell her that as long as the animals are cared for properly during the day you don’t mind if she isn’t there at night at the weekends.

I don’t think you can object to him being there during the day so you might as well make sure he feels welcome … eg two steaks in the fridge instead of one.

Stale urine….?! Dude. I think unfortunately you may have to make some excuses and arrange an alternative house sitter or put your dogs in kennels for your holiday.