To not want my DH to nap during the day?

[3littlebirdz]

Example today: DH had to work today between 11 and 3. He had to take photographs at a conference. He is a part time photographer.

I have been looking after two very hyperactive twin boys (3) since 6am. (After a week of working full time)

And he comes home and falls asleep on the sofa. Says "come on 3birdz I have been work all day, just gonna have a power nap for an hour or so". So I'm still solo parenting then .

He naps a lot. Maybe 3 or 4 times a week. Never for longer than an hour
He says I'm being v mean to say that's not OK.

Am I?

I would hate someone swearing or shouting or being grumpy at 5am.

also whatever you both do after 7pm bedtime does not count at your me time in lieu of his day time me-time. It’s the kids awake time that needs to be fairly shared. He can’t have hours off in the day and you get the evening off - the kids are asleep!! That doesn’t count!!

What is this ‘solo parent’ stuff? Do you need another pair of hands at all times to take care of your kids?

What is this ‘solo parent’ stuff? Do you need another pair of hands at all times to take care of your kids?

No, but it's reasonable to expect it a lot of the time when you're living and parenting together. I don't think it helps anyone to talk down to parents wanting their partner to do their fair share.

Well solo parenting when you’re a single parent is expected. But solo parenting when the dad is just lolling around the house is bloody annoying. She can cope by herself but why should she have to is the other parent is just having a day of leisure on the regs?!

I do believe if every workplace provided a nap area staff would be more productive, less stressed and there would be a reduction in RTAs.

@Mumtothreegirlies - no. But I don’t expect dh to have work and then free time with no regards to parenting. Where as op seems to have full time work, then full time parenting with no free time.
If there’s two parents you work together and share parenting

I just hate looking after the boys and tidying up round him

SO he naps upstairs for a maximum of 30 mins (which is what most studies say is the optimum daytime nap time). The the DC go upstairs to wake him up. If he won't go upstairs then you encourage the boys to play in the same room/loudly hoover around him until he does go upstairs.

Reminds me of DH in lockdown thinking the kitchen table was the ideal place to work and then wondering why his zoom calls all took place to the background of clattering pots & pans....