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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel anxious and ungrateful that he booked a surprise holiday

179 replies

Jodie123jofie · 01/07/2023 11:49

My maternity cover teaching contract is coming to an end and I've been there since September. No jobs were going at the school and I live in a competitive area so haven't managed to secure a teaching job for September so back on supply. This isn't the end of the world, as I've been on supply in the past and been lucky to have long-terms.

So during the summer holidays, I will have no pay and I'm stressed. DP has a job which can cover us and I have about £4000 in savings but I've been applying for summer jobs/part-time but i haven't managed to find one (I suppose a lot of summer jobs are made for younger people rather than 29 year olds).

So DP has booked a surprise holiday for the 2nd and 3rd week of summer and I acted happy of course but on the inside I feel really anxious and tight-chested about it. I'll have no money for 6 weeks (I do have holiday pay but it'll be £950 spread over 6 weeks) and then I don't know what September will bring.

Yes I can spend my savings but with the mortgage and this holiday, I feel unbelievably anxious :( I've spoken to DP about my anxieties and he just reassures me that all I'll be paying for is half the hotel and food as he's covered the flight and it's a relatively cheap country we're going to in terms of how much things cost.

I cried to myself last night though as I feel like such a failure!! Why couldn't I secure a job for September?? How am I going to keep myself sane over the summer?? Why does it feel everyone else can get a contracted job but me :( and this holiday and emphasised it even more as rather than looking forward to a well-earned break and holiday, I feel just anxious

OP posts:
ladykale · 03/07/2023 19:13

Feminism as really f'd women over hasnt it?

Why on earth are you "paying your way" on a surprise holiday that he wants to go. Surely it's only a nice surprise if he's paying for everything. Why are you paying half if he earns significantly more.

You mention maternity leave so does this mean you have had his child and are still doing this ridiculous 50/50 nonsense. Was child birth 50/50 is home stuff 50/50?

Women in the U.K. in the name of "progression" are absolutely screwing themselves.

ladykale · 03/07/2023 19:14

If you have had his child why don't you have joint expenses? How can you be part of the same household but he has lots of money and you are scrimping?!

ladykale · 03/07/2023 19:15

@SleepingStandingUp why is she paying at all?

Did he pay OP for carrying and having his baby?

Blossomtoes · 03/07/2023 19:19

ladykale · 03/07/2023 19:14

If you have had his child why don't you have joint expenses? How can you be part of the same household but he has lots of money and you are scrimping?!

She hasn’t got a child.

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