DS proposing at 18

[burndelight]

My eldest DS is 18 (January Birthday) he has just finished his A-Levels, sensible kid usually. He's been with a girl for nearly two years, she is the daughter of our close family friends, they grew up together effectively, my DH went to school with her dad, she turned 18 in April, also just finished her A-Levels.
They are very very close, we live an hour from her, they have never gone to the same school etc. but at every opportunity he drives to either pick her up and bring her to ours or he is staying at hers, the rule was they couldn't see one and other Monday-Thursday during school, but we didn't regulate weekends/ Now their exams are over they are together more than ever, their friend groups seem to have merged, there is now about 7 of them and they all like to hang out together, so when I say to him why not just see your friends this weekend, he tells me they are her friends too.
They are going to Uni in the same city but different unis next year and have decided they want to live together.
Today DS took me and his dad for lunch, he has never done this before so I was naturally quite worried. He told me that when they go on holiday together next month he is going to propose, he told us he is telling us now as he is going to speak to her parents about it once she goes off to her prom tonight and doesn't want us to find out from them rather than him.
I'm shocked to put it lightly he is only 18!! He told me doesn't think they will get married while at uni but would like to show her that he wants to and fully intends to spend the rest of his life with her.
I didn't know what to say, so I said I thought it was a bad idea but I would stand by him no matter what.
AIBU to think he has actually lost his mind?

I also agree with this!

How did it go in the end OP? Any updates?

I actually think your response was fitting. You expressed your opinion but told him he would have your support. What would the alternative have been? Going batshit and alienating him?

Would I want this for any of mine? No. I don't want them to make their world unnecessarily smaller. There's a fine line though between being a concerned parent and allowing them to find their own way. Best of luck op.

My school boyfriend proposed to me when I went to uni — it was just a way for him to feel like we were still connected and would end up together. Of course we didn’t. We grew up instead. It’s a sweet gesture. Unless he’s buying a big ring, I wouldn’t worry.

Sweet? It's bloody sexist and out of the 50s.

I don't necessarily think 18 is too young at all. I met my husband just before my 18th birthday, moved into a flat with him two months later, and bought our first flat by the time I was 20. We're still together 48 years later. Several of our friends were similar ages when they met and are still together as well.

They sound like decent smart kids, I would be supportive of them, unless I get reason not to be.

I wouldn’t support a child making a life decision at 18yo. The law of averages though is that one of them will meet someone else doing their time at uni and end this nonsense. No one is telling them to split up, just that plans of marrying at this age (otherwise why bother with engagement?), is likely fanciful.

Sry, just realised zombie but a few posters have resurrected it.

I got engaged at 18.

If we hadn't both then gone away to Uni I think we.would possibly have stayed together if our worlds hadn't changed, so to speak.

It's extremely unusual these days but I would support but also say its not necessary to marry nowadays until they feel fully ready.

I remember this thread! What happened @burndelight?

Is 6 months really long enough to be considered a zombie thread?

As this has been bumped

So @burndelight did ds propose a few months back