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AIBU?

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Original poster

she should used the shower before i come back

445 replies

RobynsMama · 30/06/2023 12:14

lighthearted, mostly 😂

i’m on holiday with some friends from work, first time we’ve ever been away together but we have done nights away.

I’m sharing a room with one person who doesn’t really like sunbathing or being by the pool. Fair enough we’re all quite chill and have been doing our own thing and then meeting up in the evening for dinner/drinks.

She goes back up to the room usually about 1pm to read and chill out whereas I’ll stay by the pool til it gets too chilly probably about half 6/7. We always make a plan for dinner in the group chat and the. I always put a message saying what time I expect to be back at the room because obviously will have to shower and get ready. Every day this week she’s been in the room for 6/7 hours alone and only gone in the shower when i’ve come back from the pool (it’s like she waits for me to get back then runs in there) and she takes forever meaning I have to then rush. I got fed up of this and asked when she was leaving after lunch if i could use the shower at 6 yesterday and she agreed, but when i got back to the room (at 6) she was in the shower! and took a good 45 minutes for i had to rush again.

aibu to think it’s a bit selfish if you’re in the room all day to wait to use the shower until the person you’re sharing with gets back from the pool, making them rush to get ready?

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 30/06/2023 12:16

Yes she's being selfish.

JulieHoney · 30/06/2023 12:17

She wants to shower just before dinner, and so do you.

murasaki · 30/06/2023 12:17

I'm struggling with 45 minutes in the shower unless she's rapunzel.

wutheringkites · 30/06/2023 12:18

Yep, she's totally unreasonable.

I also can't understand why someone would spend 6-7 hours sitting it a hotel room on holiday. What was the point in her going away?

veryfluffyfluff · 30/06/2023 12:19

Yes she's being weird

Gettingfleeced · 30/06/2023 12:19

I understand why she would want to leave it until later if you are going out, as then you feel fresher for the evening (especially if you are somewhere hot and sticky), but yes, unreasonable if you had prearranged time slots.

Is she in the shower the whole time or just in the bathroom? ie. A 5 minute shower and a 40 minute makeup and hair routine that she could be doing in the bedroom? 45 minutes in the shower every day is a excessive.

Original poster
RobynsMama · 30/06/2023 12:20

JulieHoney · 30/06/2023 12:17

She wants to shower just before dinner, and so do you.

i understand wanting to shower just before dinner; but if she’d said yesterday that she would rather shower at 6, i’d have come up and had a shower at half 5. but she agreed and then hogged the shower anyway

OP posts:
theemmadilemma · 30/06/2023 12:20

I can understand wanting to wait until close to the time to go out, so as to feel fresh, but when you've agreed what time you want to get in there, it's just plain rude. And 45 mins is a piss take.

Doingmybest12 · 30/06/2023 12:21

The whole thing sounds a bit painful but I do think it's fair enough that she also wants to get ready near the time to go out , not have a shower and then hang around again before getting changed. She is making a silent protest about the time you take, the way timings are around you?

Comety · 30/06/2023 12:21

Is she OK? It sounds to me like she's spending a lot of time avoiding people.

Original poster
RobynsMama · 30/06/2023 12:22

wutheringkites · 30/06/2023 12:18

Yep, she's totally unreasonable.

I also can't understand why someone would spend 6-7 hours sitting it a hotel room on holiday. What was the point in her going away?

she likes sitting on the balcony reading or napping and it’s not my idea of a holiday but i’m basically doing the same thing by the pool. we do go out at night and see musical acts and do karaoke so it’s not like she’s not doing anything all the time. she’s not unreasonable for that just the super imo 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
RobynsMama · 30/06/2023 12:24

it’s a full 45 minutes with the shower running, she’s got exfoliating gloves and all sorts. again fair enough, but i’m a ten minute at a push if i need to wash my hair and shave my legs. if she wanted a particular time slot i would work around her

OP posts:
Slothlikemum · 30/06/2023 12:24

I think you're right but you COULD argue that she's having to work around your plans. If you don't want to rush the. Come back sooner and get ready instead of asking her to stick to a shower schedule.

wutheringkites · 30/06/2023 12:24

@Doingmybest12

But the timings aren't working round op, are they? She has her shower when she chooses every day.

When I go away with friends, we tend to take turns on who goes first.

DinkeyDonkey · 30/06/2023 12:24

She's being a bit unreasonable and annoying but at the same time you are sharing a room and a bathroom so you can't expect her to always keep it free for when you get back

DinkeyDonkey · 30/06/2023 12:24

Maybe you need to come back earlier so,say if you are going out at 7, be back at 5 so you both have time to get ready

Original poster
RobynsMama · 30/06/2023 12:25

Comety · 30/06/2023 12:21

Is she OK? It sounds to me like she's spending a lot of time avoiding people.

she’s fine i think, we’ve been away for a couple of nights as a group (didn’t share with her then) and she spent quite a bit of time reading and on her own. i think that’s normal for her.

OP posts:
Ihateslugs · 30/06/2023 12:27

I would try to play her game and tell her that I’ll be back at 6 for a shower but actually get back at 5.30 and hopefully she will still be in the room!

Original poster
RobynsMama · 30/06/2023 12:28

Slothlikemum · 30/06/2023 12:24

I think you're right but you COULD argue that she's having to work around your plans. If you don't want to rush the. Come back sooner and get ready instead of asking her to stick to a shower schedule.

i did wonder if i was being unreasonable which is why i had a conversation with her yesterday and it was a two way thing and we agreed i’d have a shower at 6. but it just didn’t happen. wondering how i should word it today. or just go in a bit earlier and see what happens

OP posts:
Equalitea · 30/06/2023 12:28

I’d put in the group I’d be back at 6 and get back at 5.30 and run straight in the shower 😅

mistermagpie · 30/06/2023 12:34

Equalitea · 30/06/2023 12:28

I’d put in the group I’d be back at 6 and get back at 5.30 and run straight in the shower 😅

That's what I'd do too!

JulieHoney · 30/06/2023 12:35

wutheringkites · 30/06/2023 12:18

Yep, she's totally unreasonable.

I also can't understand why someone would spend 6-7 hours sitting it a hotel room on holiday. What was the point in her going away?

Because sitting in a balcony in the quiet with books is a perfectly reasonable way to relax before sociable evenings.

cestlavielife · 30/06/2023 12:36

Howxmany showers in the property? Can you go into another one if vacant?

JogOn123 · 30/06/2023 12:37

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
RobynsMama · 30/06/2023 12:37

Equalitea · 30/06/2023 12:28

I’d put in the group I’d be back at 6 and get back at 5.30 and run straight in the shower 😅

i might try this and report back 😂 even if she does jump in before me at least i’ll not be rushing as much 😂

OP posts: