she should used the shower before i come back

[RobynsMama]

lighthearted, mostly 😂

i’m on holiday with some friends from work, first time we’ve ever been away together but we have done nights away.

I’m sharing a room with one person who doesn’t really like sunbathing or being by the pool. Fair enough we’re all quite chill and have been doing our own thing and then meeting up in the evening for dinner/drinks.

She goes back up to the room usually about 1pm to read and chill out whereas I’ll stay by the pool til it gets too chilly probably about half 6/7. We always make a plan for dinner in the group chat and the. I always put a message saying what time I expect to be back at the room because obviously will have to shower and get ready. Every day this week she’s been in the room for 6/7 hours alone and only gone in the shower when i’ve come back from the pool (it’s like she waits for me to get back then runs in there) and she takes forever meaning I have to then rush. I got fed up of this and asked when she was leaving after lunch if i could use the shower at 6 yesterday and she agreed, but when i got back to the room (at 6) she was in the shower! and took a good 45 minutes for i had to rush again.

aibu to think it’s a bit selfish if you’re in the room all day to wait to use the shower until the person you’re sharing with gets back from the pool, making them rush to get ready?

Can you use someone else’s shower?

When i have to wash my hair ( very long thick hair) it takes a good half hour, then whatever time after to dry style depending on what i want. However i only wash my hair once a week, every other day is a quick wash with a shower cap covering my hair or i have a bath. I take time to get ready but i would work tis out based on what time is dinner etc and i would most certainly not hog the bathroom, What's happening here is very selfish of her. if you are sharing you both need to compromise - though in this case she more than you

Don't tell her what time you will be arriving back at the room. Then when you do get back instantly hop into the shower before the CF does😁

Some hotels have showers in communal spaces. If there's a pool for instance.

I really curious about this. How does it take half an hour? Do you wash it strand by strand? I don't have thin hair myself but I cannot imagine what you spend half an hour doing, is it because you only wash it once a week and it is really greasy you have to spend so long scrubbing the grease off? I know it sounds weird but I can't actually fathom what your process is that it takes so long?

YANBU.
Why can't you be direct with her? I'd be banging on the door asking her to hurry up, telling her off. But I'm very direct.

For the record I have ADHD and lose track of time easily. I'm THAT person who only remember I need the toilet etc when someone else mentions it. It's rude and inconsiderate which is why I work so hard to avoid it.

If I can keep to a schedule anybody can. They just don't care. But why would they, when you don't speak up and use your words? Hrmmmm?

it's very long think hair. it's past my bra strap. it takes time to rinse it properly and also needs a good conditioner which I brush through aswell. it's so thick I need to keep it on good condition or else its a birds nest. unless you have hair like mine you won't understand.

by the way it's not greasy at all..I trained my hair over lockdown so I only Need to wash once a week. if its washed and blow dried by a hairdresser I can get more than a week with it.

I don't understand why you don't just talk to her about it. When she broke your agreement, why didn't you point it out to her? As in "Oi, don't you remember we said I was going in the shower at X o'clock?" Make your tone as surprised/miffed/exasperated as you think fits the situation. Tell her it's not fair that you're always having to rush because of her. Presumably you know her quite well, as you're sharing with her. I don't understand complaining to loads of people when all you need to do is talk to one.

It’s hot .
She wants to shower just before dinner.
If you can’t cope with that then leave the pool earlier and have an earlier shower
Its not your call
Bit rude texting / telling her you wanted your shower at six and also judging how she spends her time!
You just have to calm down, stop dictating and remember it’s her break too.

I think it's a bit sad to spend 5-6 hours alone in a hotel room every day on holiday!!! And yeh she's being extremely unreasonable. She has the whole afternoon to beautify herself and have the bathroom and bedroom to herself? If I was her I think I'd be all ready and then go out when you came in to give you some space. Can she not lie in the shade beside the pool

This - don't give her a chance to get into the bathroom, even if it means arranging your stuff in there before you go down to the pool in the morning. If necessary shout - "Ooh - I'm desperate for a wee" so she can't argue against your going in.

Who the hell takes a 45 minute shower EVERY night?

Really, seeing as you are straight in-and-out (I know it's partly from necessity as she takes so long, but you wouldn't be 45 minutes) she should let you in first and then go after you and take as long as she likes. Or is she worried that you will all go down for a drink while you are waiting and she will miss the gossip?

That's right - OP will be slathered with sun cream - the Voracious Reader eon't.

*won't

maybe try it the other way and ask her what time she wants to shower. Then say ‘ok well I’ll get in at X o’clock [after her] then’. If she then tries to lock herself in the bathroom when you come in at your prearranged time, knock on the bathroom door and say something along the lines of ‘we agreed I’d get in now, I’ve come back especially!’ And get the lazy get out of there!

Oooh!

Cunning!

<imagine cunning fox emoji here>

My husband is like this he will chill in the room or even at home whilst I swim or Spa/hotub for a couple of hours and then he jumps in the shower as soon as I walk in the door. He just doesn't think to do it until he sees me I end up waiting, once I point it out he let's me go first but he manages to forget repeatedly. I am 99% sure its not deliberately its just unthinking.

I'm tidier on holiday because I don't want hotel staff to think I'm a slattern!

I've got waist length hair that is fairly thick - I wash it every two days and have never spent anywhere near as long as ten minutes washing )two washes) and conditioning it, and showering. What do you find to do for that long?

It sounds as though you want your preferences to be controlling

No - it sounds like she doesn't want to have to sit about for 45 minutes when someone else is showering, and then be forced to rush herself!

No reason why they couldn't take turns going in first.

Shouting "Can you hurry up - I need a shit wee"

I'm invested now too.

It sounds as though you want your preferences to be controlling

the adult thing to do would be for them to take it in turns to be the one using the shower at 6pm.

outside of that she is a wasting selfish fucker for running the shower for 45 minutes while the world burns

A friends' grand-daughter has hair like this - very thick and wavy and almost to her waist - she looks like Crystal Tips - it's gorgeous, but it is a night indoors with hair products when she washes is (also once/week and no, it doesn't get particularly greasy)

dunno washing ut with shampoo twice and then comb conditioner in leave it for a few mons to sink in then wash my face and body..sometimes it half an hour sometimes is 20 25 mins. but it's once a week. so yoi have a 10 min shower every two days equates to 30 mins over the week 30 times which is same as mine washed once a week for about 30 mins. I don't wash my hair until a week later. if I am going out or for an occasion go to the hairdressers for a blow dry so then it could be two weeks before I actually wash it myslef. maybe next time I will do a live vlog to show every one 😂