AIBU to not understand people who stop and stand to the side on wide pavements when you pass (and then expect to be thanked)?

[UpperLowerMiddleClass]

Firstly, I’m not talking about narrow pavements where there is not enough space for two people to pass comfortably, and so one person needed to stand aside. If someone stops and lets me pass them on a narrow pavement I smile and say thank you. And sometimes I’ll be the one stopping to let someone coming the other way pass me. All well and good.

But there’s been a few occasions recently I’ve been walking down a regular size pavement - 1.5-2 metres wide maybe - and someone coming the other way has made a point of stopping as I approach and then standing to the side while I pass them, before continuing to walk on. I make sure I keep to the side as I walk so there’s a good amount of space for two people to pass, it’s not like I’m marching down the centre of the pavement and not budging.

I don’t thank people if they do this - to me it’s their choice if they want to stand aside on a pavement where there’s no need to. But yesterday I very clearly heard the woman who did this - step aside for no reason - mutter ‘Not even a thank you!’ once I’d passed.

It can’t still be anything to do with covid fears and social distancing can it? Especially as the person who stands aside is not moving any further away from me, but it just standing still until I’ve passed them.

So what’s this all about? If someone chooses to stand aside despite not needing to should I be thanking them?

Maybe they are simply trying to be polite or friendly.

I've never noticed this. Regularly I meet people standing in the middle of a pavement taking up the entire walking space having a big chat while making absolutely zero effort to let anyone pass. The example you've given wouldn't bother me, I'd probably barely notice them.

Yes, even if you think there's space, they didn't and even what you see as an unnecessary considerate gesture is still a considerate gesture and worth thinking someone for.

Why? Well, my DBro does this and I think it's because he is ND and often exaggerates social interactions, including spacing between people.

I know exactly what you mean. On one particularly grumpy day, I snapped that I wasn’t that wide.

I totally agree and this regularly happens to me as a runner. There’s plenty of space for two people to walk side by side with extra room to leave a gap between but they pull to one side and stop to let me past and it always makes me feel awkward like I have to speed up not to keep them waiting.

It's takes a second to smile and say thank you.
And a genuine smile can make that person smile plus it makes you feel brighter.
So,for whatever their reason,be it covid,politeness,whatever,just smile say thanks and carry on.😀😃🌻

Yeah this has happened to me a few times recently even down to the muttering as I walk past, I do think it's a hangover from social distancing still.

Why not just say Thank you, it's not a big deal.

I’ve had this happen a few times.
I know they’re just being polite but it’s not necessary when the pavements so wide.

I was waking on a wide pavement with dd in her buggy when an older guy stopped and stood to the side about 15 feet in front of me, it was odd, I didn’t know what he was doing as it looked like he was going to cross the road, I just walked past and smiled - he wasn’t looking at me but muttered something under his breath about ‘no manners’ 🤭

It's probably a social distance mindset left over from lockdown. It's a hard habit to break for some.

I find it’s usually men who do this. There’s a grandiose stepping to one side and stopping completely while you continue to walk along the wide pavement. I think it’s some kind of gentlemanly thing, it doesn’t bother me that much but it’s not like they’re doing a massive favour.

Drivers do similar as well.

The thing that annoys me is when there’s a narrow space between parked cars on both sides of the road, and someone stops their car in the middle of the road in front of the gap, so you do get to go first but you then have to wiggle around them, but then can then just drive in a straight line. And then they expect to be thanked! Whereas actually they should be thanking you for being the one to do the “wiggling”!

It happens where I live. The people who stand aside usually look like the anxious type, still scared of catching something I assume. I smile at them but don’t thank them, because their actions are for their own perceived benefit.

Tbh I sometimes do this as I have poor balance and don't necessarily walk in a straight line and can be prone to staggering.

I don't expect thanks although there is usually an acknowledgement of some sort.

I've noticed this too - always men, standing back unnecessarily then muttering "You're WELCOME'.

If the path is narrow I will do the usual step/social smile/thanks, but when there is no need for either of us to alter our course by a millimetre? No need.

I've had people do this to me, and either I've said thank you too quietly or I've not realised what they're doing and not thanked them, and they've got upset with me - muttering about bad manners or just loudly exclaiming "THANK YOU" at my back. To be honest, I've always thought that shows a much worse lack of manners than not thanking someone for doing something unnecessary. It implies they're only doing it to be thanked, and I think them deliberately showing such a poor attitude is rude.

Politeness is when you do something to ease a social interaction or something to make someone feel at ease. Rudeness is when you do something intentionally to upset someone. They've been rude, not polite.

Is smile and nod and option? Seems frosty to be so uptight about this?

I mean it won't choke you to say thanks, people are giving you space to pass just acknowledge people its a bit of human interaction by the time you overthought and put in your Bullet points iprobably took longer and more effort than a quick thank you!

Snap.

@Sartre I always step aside for runners, partly because I know they don’t want to slow their pace but also because I was knocked down by one last year. I don’t want to risk it happening again. (The runner who knocked me flying was mortified and very apologetic. There was plenty of room for both of us, he just swayed as he went past me and collided with me).

The art of good manners is truly lost

I would assume this is a lockdown/social distancing hangover too.

My 4 year old son does this sometimes when people are walking towards us and I put it it down to social distancing. He started walking in early 2020 and some people would do an exaggerated jump out of the way or just stop completely if they saw him coming, even when there was loads of space. He picked up on that and still does it.

OP is asking whether it's unreasonable for people who do this to EXPECT to be thanked. Not whether they should thank them. I think it's unreasonable to do something unnecessary but you perceive as nice for someone (but which actually might make them uncomfortable e.g. having to speed past), and then "take it back" and respond with rudeness if you're not thanked.

I've noticed this too - always men, standing back unnecessarily then muttering "You're WELCOME'.

Also this

Yes!!

this happened to me, very wide pavement but a couple stopped and I passed them with ample spare room for them to walk at the same time. Didn’t even realise they’d stopped ‘for me’ until the man shouted ‘YOU’RE WELCOME’ behind me.