AIBU to not understand people who stop and stand to the side on wide pavements when you pass (and then expect to be thanked)?

[UpperLowerMiddleClass]

Firstly, I’m not talking about narrow pavements where there is not enough space for two people to pass comfortably, and so one person needed to stand aside. If someone stops and lets me pass them on a narrow pavement I smile and say thank you. And sometimes I’ll be the one stopping to let someone coming the other way pass me. All well and good.

But there’s been a few occasions recently I’ve been walking down a regular size pavement - 1.5-2 metres wide maybe - and someone coming the other way has made a point of stopping as I approach and then standing to the side while I pass them, before continuing to walk on. I make sure I keep to the side as I walk so there’s a good amount of space for two people to pass, it’s not like I’m marching down the centre of the pavement and not budging.

I don’t thank people if they do this - to me it’s their choice if they want to stand aside on a pavement where there’s no need to. But yesterday I very clearly heard the woman who did this - step aside for no reason - mutter ‘Not even a thank you!’ once I’d passed.

It can’t still be anything to do with covid fears and social distancing can it? Especially as the person who stands aside is not moving any further away from me, but it just standing still until I’ve passed them.

So what’s this all about? If someone chooses to stand aside despite not needing to should I be thanking them?

Exactly this is what I meant earlier about people doing their own personalised risk assessment. I've been the same when a bit hobbly with an injury and can see myself becoming more like it now I'm pregnant, I don't want to risk being bumped into/brushed past and put off balance - whereas normally that wouldn't bother me at all.

Come to think of it, I’ve never seen a man bark ‘THANK YOU’ sarcastically at another man. I wonder why that is.

Why on earth would you have a problem with someone else trying to be polite?

Why would you have ever been in a situation where that might happen? 😆

Personally I've only ever seen this behaviour from men too, and most of the time it's to try and get your attention, and them hoping it'll lead to a conversation. A quieter version of wolf whistling I guess 😅because as soon as a strange man wants my attention in public it immediately puts me on edge.

I’ve been bashed in the leg by a wheelchair or a pushchair too many times so I just stop and wait for them to pass unless it’s a really really wide pavement. I don’t do the thank you bit though. I have no way of knowing how good someone’s steering is and I value my shins. I am so confused how this is considered rude?

The OP isn't talking about deliberately being rude and not saying thank you though. People going on about manners seem to be willfully missing the point.

She's talking about people doing something that she doesn't register as necessary as often doesn't notice and clock that they need a thank you until it's too late and they start with the passive agressive 'you're welcome's. That's the height of rudeness in my opinion.

I've definitely had this happen when the DCs were little- walking along chatting to them not realising a woman had stopped for my benefit as there was plenty of room for all of us. Then she started berating me for not saying thank you.

Having a go at anyone for this sort of thing is horrible anyway, you never know why someone might not be giving you, a random stranger, their full attention

A dead certainty, I'd say. She was about 6 ft tall and wearing a multicoloured costume of wool that she had clearly spun, dyed, and knitted herself. She might have been a looker at Glastonbury in 1970 if your taste ran to stern looking anaemic beanpoles. Sorry to be so catty but she pissed me off.

You can choose to just nod or smile anyway and carry on, honestly it costs absolutely nothing. But if you don't agree you can just do you and not get so perplexed about so called expectations. The world will still turn for those with manners and the perpetually ignorant.

Yip I feel 100% the same. I would feel like a parrot if I thanked everyone who does this, and I actually feel very strongly they shouldn't be thanked, despite the invetitable " thank you" sarcastic comments once I have passed. I thank the narrow pavement pounders though! I always think are you serious you could drive a bus through this space?

She s talking about observing someone doing something ghat she doesn't think is necessary but they clearly do and then refusing to take the simplest of free actions to acknowledge them

It's rude

She as the queen has decided that person didn't need to do what they did and so she doesn't need to acknowledge

Imagine the other thread
"I was walking down the street and moved over to let someone past and they didn't even bother to say thank you just steamed on through like it was their right "

Same, I was nearly mown down once by a woman on one of those motorised scooter vehicles - she made no attempt to steer at all.

I have to push my mother in her wheelchair often enough and I always thank people who move aside, whether it's really necessary or not. They're being polite, why wouldn't I be?

It does sound like you might look a bit bull in a china shop, stopping for no one with your pushchair. Maybe you're completely confident in your steering abilities, but why would they be?

You can choose to just nod or smile anyway and carry on, honestly it costs absolutely nothing.

It also cost nothing not to take such a thing so personal to the point of rudeness. Only the person doing this knows that they’re stopping for the stranger, the stranger does not. The stranger has other things on their mind or may have earphones in and are not automatically thinking that a random person is stopping for them when there is no need to.

I agree with a couple of previous posters that some people got so used to social distancing during the pandemic that it's second nature to them now.

@strawberrywhisk

Calling people 'perpetually ignorant' isn't exactly polite now is it? Manners cost nothing.

It seems that it is you that takes things too personally, why do you think that others have the energy to expect anything of you, it's all rather egotistical, if you find that rude then that's on you, not me.

And people are still getting it and some people are still vulnerable. You can't tell who they are by looking.

It's interesting to me how rude all of these extremely polite people seem to be.

I would never dream of shouting at someone on the street or calling someone ignorant or egotistical.

God point about Covid. My mum still wears a mask and gives people a massive berth on the payment but she’s loathe to cause offence so she pretends she’s looking in the gutter or something 😂

I think this thread demonstrates quite well it is often the people who are obsessed with manners and politeness are actually quite rude themselves. Stepping aside when you don’t need to, the muttering a sarcastic comment because you aren’t emphatically thanked (by someone who may not have even been aware of what you were doing) isn’t polite!

Well we all leave an impression no matter how we are, our behaviour is personal to ourselves. If one is happy with all that, it then matters no how we impress others.

It is a good point too about covid. I don’t wear a mask anymore but I do notice i al a bit more on edge in crowded places now and give people more space when out.

*I am a bit

I always get older men doing this, in streets and in supermarkets! I'm guessing they just want a bit of contact... But I'll afraid I do find it annoying!