AIBU to not understand people who stop and stand to the side on wide pavements when you pass (and then expect to be thanked)?

[UpperLowerMiddleClass]

Firstly, I’m not talking about narrow pavements where there is not enough space for two people to pass comfortably, and so one person needed to stand aside. If someone stops and lets me pass them on a narrow pavement I smile and say thank you. And sometimes I’ll be the one stopping to let someone coming the other way pass me. All well and good.

But there’s been a few occasions recently I’ve been walking down a regular size pavement - 1.5-2 metres wide maybe - and someone coming the other way has made a point of stopping as I approach and then standing to the side while I pass them, before continuing to walk on. I make sure I keep to the side as I walk so there’s a good amount of space for two people to pass, it’s not like I’m marching down the centre of the pavement and not budging.

I don’t thank people if they do this - to me it’s their choice if they want to stand aside on a pavement where there’s no need to. But yesterday I very clearly heard the woman who did this - step aside for no reason - mutter ‘Not even a thank you!’ once I’d passed.

It can’t still be anything to do with covid fears and social distancing can it? Especially as the person who stands aside is not moving any further away from me, but it just standing still until I’ve passed them.

So what’s this all about? If someone chooses to stand aside despite not needing to should I be thanking them?

And fwiw, I do almost always say thanks or smile (the exceptions are when I'm experiencing speech aphasia or when I'm too tired to make my face do the thing). I don't mean it though.

What is the matter with me? Well you’re quite rude yourself aren’t you?! 😂I didn’t say footpath I said pavement. About 4m wide. Plenty of room to get past each other.

Begrudge the interaction of just smiling at people ? What has the world come to !

They give me too much space /too little space - ffs people are not perfect . Stop looking for insults everywhere

4m wide pavement - rather unusual !
Perhaps your distance estimate is off

I think so many people are selfish on pavements by walking two or three abreast that I couldn’t get worked up by someone actively giving me way. I would just thank them.

Bit harsh, maybe they’re not sure how much room you need to manoeuvre.

It seems people can’t do right for doing wrong.

Pavements aren't 4m wide, as a rule.

I know! I can't believe how easily offended people are these days. Is it such a great effort to smile or say thank you even of you don't really need it? How much of their precious time does that take? Should we all walk round studiously avoiding any kind of contact with other people?

I didn’t say all pavements were 4m wide.

4 m is actually huge for a pavement. 4ft possibly.

If someone is standing so far away that the person they’re doing this for doesn’t realise or know they’re trying to be polite and has to mumble or yell at them to say “thank you” it’s them lacking the manners not the person they are expecting to say thank you.

People are not mind readers. I’m not going to assume you’re stopping for me if 2+ people can go through the space between us. There’s more reasons for such people to stop that has nothing to do with me.

There was a nutty woman yesterday, coming the other way. We made a big wide space for her, but she just stopped till we had passed her, then shouted 'Thank you!' in a sarcastic tone of voice. She looked like a cross between a crusty and an 80 year old earth mother hippy.

No one seems to be able to explain why standing on the edge of a wide pavement is polite.

Good manners are important to me but there is a difference between doing something polite as second nature and just doing some mindless performance for no one's benefit but your own.

I mean, fair enough except they've been able to see me rolling in a straight line down the pavement, jumping out the way feels rather unnecessary. Up there with the people who comment on my steering ability "oo you're very nippy with that". It's my main mode of movement outside the house, no I'm not going to run you over (even if your two year old darts out in front of me), and yes I can bloody steer. Just like you don't tend to walk into people.

She looked like a cross between a crusty and an 80 year old earth mother hippy.

Good chance she'll be on MN then.

BTW where are these 4m pavements, I'd like to move there. The only place I can think with anything like this is either a promenade (where no one moves out of the way) or very central London where the enormous pavements are nevertheless full of people.

Manners in this case are just an acknowledgement as someone as thought of doing something for you in a well intended way, whether needed or not. A simple nod of the head costs nothing.

😂 I’m in London but not central. The pavements aren’t all 4m wide but this particular one on my school run is about that wide. And frequently people step right to the edge to ‘let me past’. I feel like I’m going to have to screenshot it as no one seems to believe me 🤣

@strawberrywhisk

But how is op to know it has been done for her benefit? A poster further up said they do this if they don't like the look of someone. Should op give a cheery nod and thank them for thinking she might mug them?

Now I think about it, the only time I move to the edge of a wide path if passing one person is if I don't like the look of them or their dog. Should I expect to be thanked for that?

Where pavements are smooth with no potholes or wobbly paving slabs, then we might expect buggies and wheelchairs to travel in straight lines. Given the appalling state of pavements and the inability of councils to even know whether they are maintaining them for cycle and/or pedestrian use, I'm not going to limit your options.

I’ve not RTFT but I’ve noticed my elderly mum does this (very frail), also a friend who had a bad knee injury, and even my DH when he broke his collarbone.

So I assume it happens when you feel you have enough room because you don’t mind brushing past them, or you’re agile enough to skirt past, but they don’t feel comfortable that they have enough room.

I like it when they throw in a sweeping 'you may proceed' gesture.

I am forever stopping and letting people past when out with DD.
This is because she is still freaked out by going too close to people on the street or people coming up behind us.
I don't expect thanks though as we are doing it for our benefit not theirs, though they do normally thank us.

What I'd really like if one of the people who get "moved out of the way" for posted a selfie and it turned out they were wearing something like this https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/99509

People have different needs for space especially with movement or balance disorders. PTSD even. Maybe their eyesight or judgement of space is poor.

I often prefer to stop and let people pass me. I smile and whatever as appropriate. I don’t expect their effusive gratitude obviously but it’s still nice to have that basic acknowledgement with a quick smile or nod even if the issue is mine.

There are going to be a few people who contrive to make a weird control thing out of it but even so, a nod or more blunt thanks covers it without fuelling the fire.