To really, really not want to do this.

[Nootherwayout]

I’ve used a throwaway username for this because anyone from my village would instantly recognise me 😂.

DH (and I but to a lesser extent) volunteer at our local village hall. DH is slightly obsessed with it and puts in hours and hours of volunteering most weeks. He does a lot of the organising for the Friday night social nights.

Tomorrow is the monthly bingo night and DH has not found anyone to call it this month. He has basically railroaded me into doing it, ie if I don’t do it, it can’t go ahead. He can’t because he’s the only volunteer available to run the rest of the night and no one else from the committee or village has agreed to do it.

But I don’t want to for the following reasons:

I hate bingo, I really, actually hate it! I never go to the bingo nights or if I do I sit outside with other friends that don’t play.
I don’t know the weird rhymes you’re meant to call out for certain numbers so I will have to try to learn them tomorrow.
People get really annoyed and complain when they’re not happy about the speed the numbers are called etc and I don’t want to be complained about when I’m doing something for free.
I’m 6 months in to a busy public sector job that I’m still learning and I’m knackered by Friday nights.
I’m happy to do my bit and have planned and read out the quiz on quiz night 3 times so I am confident getting up in public but I said to DH right at the beginning that I do not want to call bingo.
I know full well that next month we’ll be in the same position and I’ll be expected to do it again.
My friends will be sat outside in the sunshine and I won’t be able to sit with them.
I’ll have to fake enthusiasm or it’s not fair on the people who’ve paid to play.
Did I mention, I hate bingo?

AIBU to just really, really not want to do it and if so any tips for faking enthusiasm?

Do you know any teens who’d like to earn £20? It’d cost you £20 but it’d be worth it not to have to bingo call!

Lazy arse villagers letting you run yourselves ragged but not lifting a finger themselves to help. Explain to him that it is better to cancel and show them they don't get entertained if they don't do their bit. Don't do it.

This

Or anyone really who'd like to make a few quid

Agree that you should cancel the event and tell everyone that there is no caller. Ask for volunteer callers for next time.

I don’t know the weird rhymes you’re meant to call out for certain numbers so I will have to try to learn them tomorrow

If it helps, they don't use the weird rhymes in real bingo halls, just the numbers themselves e.g. "Five and two, fifty two".

This! Do not do it, people need to learn that if they don’t step up then there won’t be events.

If everyone does a little, then no one needs to run themselves ragged and do a lot.

Hmm maybe DS would, he’s 14 and has also done the quiz before with his friends but then he’s also knackered from school on Friday’s and has work on Saturday.

Don’t get me started on the unhelpfulness of most of the village. We put on an awesome concert on the Sunday after the coronation and the head of the committee came on the microphone after to lightheartedly mention it was a volunteering day tomorrow and the committee would appreciate help with the clean up the next day… no one came, not one person and there were complaints that we hadn’t put on enough for the kids like a bouncy castle 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈.

If there was something I hated and had told my partner in advance I wouldn't do, then there'd be no question of me doing that thing, whoever he'd promised, whoever he felt i was letting down. One of the people who like bingo can do it or they don't get to have bingo. Not the end of the world. Your DH could be learning a valuable lesson here-you don't get to bask in being everyone's favourite helper through other people's efforts and inconvenience.

Don’t bloody do it. If no one else can be arsed to volunteer then fuck ‘em

I think I might do it. But I would do. It in a manner that meant I would never be asked to do it again.
but I can be a bit childish.

Why are you doing so much for such an ungrateful village? Don’t do it. Stop doing any of it

Don’t do it. Why should the two of you single-handedly work to entertain the whole village.

When it’s cancelled and people are disappointed, it’s the perfect opportunity to say, ‘if nobody is prepared to volunteer, no events will be able to happen’.

The more you step in, the more people will expect you to do it and be disappointed when you don’t.

I can totally relate to this exact scenario. I’d say resign but I haven’t managed to.

Yes - do this.

And when someone says something about you not doing it right announce on the microphone

"Ladies and gentleman let's give X a huge round of applause for volunteering to call next time - and call correctly"

It’s ok to say no to something you really don’t want to do. Tell DH the bingo will have to be cancelled.

Put a post on the village faceache page saying it will be cancelled unless someone volunteers to help by x time.

Tell DH if he forces this, not only will you not be calling bingo, but you won't be doing anything for any other events either.

If it's that no one is comfortable calling, tell DH to call, and get a volunteer to do his role instead. But not you.

I've been sucked into entirely too much shite like this over the years, and have decided no more. It's restricting, stressful and thankless. It's someone else's turn.

What else does he have to do whilst the bingo is on that’s stopping him calling?
can’t he just be more organised?

This. We were very involved in our community shop after we retired. All volunteers. Covid hit and the absolute cuntery of people's behaviour showed itself . Once lockdown ended we resigned. If you are doing it voluntarily and it is not being appreciated then stop doing it. People sadly die of many things . Lack of a bingo night isn't one of them.

I'd do it so badly you never get asked again. Monotone voice, really slowly.

If every there was an opportunity fie a big cancellation notice.

"Due to the lack of volunteers, unfortunately tonight's event cannot take place and future events may also be at risk unless our volunteer numbers increase.

Please contact X if you have an interest in volunteering"

My local Parkrun organiser pleaded week after week for volunteers to fill the rota. It must have been soul destroying. It is well attended and I often thought how bad it was that all those people ran but never volunteered.

Quite recently he announced the night before that it was cancelled as they did not have the required number of volunteers. And he stuck to it, it did not go ahead that week.

I’ve since heard the volunteer list is much larger now.

So I agree. Call the bluff of the village. Cancel it.

I'd sooner set myself on fire than be the bingo caller. Absolutely no way.

Either DH finds a replacement or it's cancelled.

This, and all the other similar posts
Why is your dh so keen to lie down and get walked over?
What is this demonstrating to your kids?
Community engagement is great, community enslavement (when 2 people do everything for the rest of the village with no thanks or reward) is ridiculous

It's like the PTA at school. People moan and bitch about it but won't contribute or volunteer.

Absolutely this!

Cancel it if theres no volunteer. Then make it clear that everyone who wants to play bingo has to take a turn on a rota for being the caller.