To really, really not want to do this.

[Nootherwayout]

I’ve used a throwaway username for this because anyone from my village would instantly recognise me 😂.

DH (and I but to a lesser extent) volunteer at our local village hall. DH is slightly obsessed with it and puts in hours and hours of volunteering most weeks. He does a lot of the organising for the Friday night social nights.

Tomorrow is the monthly bingo night and DH has not found anyone to call it this month. He has basically railroaded me into doing it, ie if I don’t do it, it can’t go ahead. He can’t because he’s the only volunteer available to run the rest of the night and no one else from the committee or village has agreed to do it.

But I don’t want to for the following reasons:

I hate bingo, I really, actually hate it! I never go to the bingo nights or if I do I sit outside with other friends that don’t play.
I don’t know the weird rhymes you’re meant to call out for certain numbers so I will have to try to learn them tomorrow.
People get really annoyed and complain when they’re not happy about the speed the numbers are called etc and I don’t want to be complained about when I’m doing something for free.
I’m 6 months in to a busy public sector job that I’m still learning and I’m knackered by Friday nights.
I’m happy to do my bit and have planned and read out the quiz on quiz night 3 times so I am confident getting up in public but I said to DH right at the beginning that I do not want to call bingo.
I know full well that next month we’ll be in the same position and I’ll be expected to do it again.
My friends will be sat outside in the sunshine and I won’t be able to sit with them.
I’ll have to fake enthusiasm or it’s not fair on the people who’ve paid to play.
Did I mention, I hate bingo?

AIBU to just really, really not want to do it and if so any tips for faking enthusiasm?

Stay at home and watch re runs of Ever Decreasing Circles instead. 🙂

I would get DH to do the number calling and I’d do his jobs?

Picturing Phoenix Nights whilst reading this. Get high on a mixture of pills and booze, that should make it more fun.

I totally agree with a couple of other posters - things like this have to fail or have a very serious threat to fail, to encourage others to step up and play their part. Or maybe the village community doesn't want your DH's efforts and only goes along to 'support' him, in fact they see attending as a form of volunteering, and in actual fact they'd be more than happy to sit outside like you or stay home and watch re-runs of Ever Decreasing Circles.

Don't start anything you know you won't like / only ever intend to do once. It's sooo much more difficult to pull out once you've started something. Remember the terms "people pleaser" and "doormat" are not compliments, they are insults so why put yourself in that frame to be insulted.

Just say NO

Sixty-six saucy knicks
Thirty-two squishy poo

Sounds like you think it a bit beneath you. You are happy to do the quiz but not anything common like bingo perhaps?

So now OP is a snob for not wanting to call the bingo?

She doesn't want to. That should be enough, especially as she contributes in other ways.

Let one of the bingo lovers call the numbers, or one of the committee members, not one of whom has volunteered.

I might do it for a laugh, have a nice chilled bottle of wine with me and steadily get pissed and arsey the more grumpy players became at how shit I was.

I have to agree with other posters.
Cancel the event as no one wants to volunteer to call out the numbers.

You hate bingo, you never attend, no one will expect you to do it.
Those that attend and play should take turns

As an aside
Two fat ladies 88
Buckle my shoe 32
Legs 11
Two little ducks 22

Just in case..

If you do it once then you will be expected to do it again

Then you & the committee just put on things you like & enjoy doing & are willing to do without help from the great unwashed. If they don't like it, they can vote you out.

Have 2 bottles of wine & then start insulting the players, e.g.

Number twelve - We do every thing ourselves
Number two - No help from you
Twenty-two - !"£$%^ you
Number ten - Never again

It has nothing to do with being beneath someone.

I hate bingo because it is boring (I find all games of chance/gambling boring). It is like watching a very long national lottery draw. Except you can’t come skip the whole process and come back to it after it has been done to check your numbers.

Definitely this

Have a few drinks beforehand and camp it up. It’ll be a laugh! You can do this OP!

Personally I'd do it and just make my own weird names up for the numbers ("Clickety Duck - Sixty two") and the first person who complained I'd invite them to come and take over from me.

People should be grateful that someone is prepared to volunteer to take it on and stop whinging.

This

Move town/village, or LTB. Those are the only two options I can think of.

It's amazing what people expect from volunteers. I volunteer for the local community organisation near me, and they put on a lot of free events aimed at older people and they complain about everything!

At Christmas there was a free Christmas lunch with dessert and the local school choir came to sing for them, it was lovely. There were only 2 of us who had volunteered to give out the food and drinks. The daggers we were getting for taking too long, I couldn't believe it, there were around 40 people to serve!

I would do what you have said, do it this one time but say if they want it to carry on then they need to volunteer themselves, they could always take it in turns so they get to play as well.

Beware of doing the jokey thing, unless you're prepared for it to be a big hit! Then you'll never get out of it.

I’m dying of laughter!!!!

In all seriousness, I couldn’t stand to be married to a total do-gooder who dragged me into his people-pleasing nonsense, especially when it was for a village-load of ungrateful shitheads. Sorry OP.

Ha ha!

Rather be at home with a glass of wine - 49
All the bored wives - 55
why am I here again? - number 10

It could be a symphony of passive aggression OP!

OP, it sounds as if your DH (and you, to an extent) is one of those village hall stalwarts who are endlessly complained about and criticised, but who continue, mystifyingly, to keep doing things because they think the village will not survive without them keeping the heart of the community beating. Bluntly, these volunteers often don’t step back and take a look at the dynamics, and whether they’re overinflating the whole ‘the show must go on’ schtik.

The best thing that could happen here is that you cancel and say why, and that bingo won’t be happening unless people volunteer to call. Make volunteer labour visible.

If people value something under threat they will volunteer at least occasionally. If they don’t, then your DH is under no obligation to keep running himself ragged. Maybe someone has a different idea for Friday nights they’d be prepared to run?

I have the opposite problem - something I love volunteering for has so many volunteers that I dont get to do it nearly as often as I’d like!