To really, really not want to do this.

[Nootherwayout]

I’ve used a throwaway username for this because anyone from my village would instantly recognise me 😂.

DH (and I but to a lesser extent) volunteer at our local village hall. DH is slightly obsessed with it and puts in hours and hours of volunteering most weeks. He does a lot of the organising for the Friday night social nights.

Tomorrow is the monthly bingo night and DH has not found anyone to call it this month. He has basically railroaded me into doing it, ie if I don’t do it, it can’t go ahead. He can’t because he’s the only volunteer available to run the rest of the night and no one else from the committee or village has agreed to do it.

But I don’t want to for the following reasons:

I hate bingo, I really, actually hate it! I never go to the bingo nights or if I do I sit outside with other friends that don’t play.
I don’t know the weird rhymes you’re meant to call out for certain numbers so I will have to try to learn them tomorrow.
People get really annoyed and complain when they’re not happy about the speed the numbers are called etc and I don’t want to be complained about when I’m doing something for free.
I’m 6 months in to a busy public sector job that I’m still learning and I’m knackered by Friday nights.
I’m happy to do my bit and have planned and read out the quiz on quiz night 3 times so I am confident getting up in public but I said to DH right at the beginning that I do not want to call bingo.
I know full well that next month we’ll be in the same position and I’ll be expected to do it again.
My friends will be sat outside in the sunshine and I won’t be able to sit with them.
I’ll have to fake enthusiasm or it’s not fair on the people who’ve paid to play.
Did I mention, I hate bingo?

AIBU to just really, really not want to do it and if so any tips for faking enthusiasm?

Let your DH do it.
If he also needs to check the numbers, it just means they'll be a short break in the game while he does so. So maybe fewer games than usual.

If he is also responsible for the bar, then it's shut while the game's on. Let people wait for their drinks. Or cancel the bar and announce that this is due to the lack of volunteers.

A community group I'm involved with recently discussed putting on a bingo event. One of the women there showed off an app on her phone that does it all - picks out the numbers, reads them out (it sounds like you have speakers in the hall so can amplify it) and keeps track of which numbers have been called, to make it easier for your DH to check when someone claims to have a line or whatever. There are a number of different apps that do this - I'm not sure which one she recommends.

I can tell you now, if you want people to step up, you have to let things fail. It's the only way people will actually help out. 20+ years volunteering at scouts here, tried parent rotas etc etc. Only thing that actually works is cancelling activities 🤷‍♀️

@Nootherwayout this is a red line for you. It’s not your problem, fault etc. that there is no bingo caller it is the fault of people who are happy to let you do the hard work and then have the cheek to moan. Until you take a stand they will let you do it. Trust me if you do this you will be saddled with it, people will say - oh you are so good at it. What they mean is if you do it I don’t have too.

I would put a notice up stating bingo is cancelled until at least 4 people volunteer to be caller on a rota basis. A team of 4 means they do it 3 times a year, they can cover holidays etc.

At the next Village Hall meeting schedule an agenda item about volunteers. Make the point about how do we get more people to help e.g. clean up.

😂 I'd go to this bingo!

No is a complete sentence and your DH should also use it so the pair of you don’t end up burned out!

Absolutely agree with the poster upthread who said to say it’s cancelled till there are at least 4 volunteers for future bingo nights.

https://www.online-stopwatch.com/random-number-generators/online-bingo-caller/full-screen/

This is a good site OP. All you'd have to do is keep pressing the button. The settings allow you to have numbers only, or numbers and phrases.

If anyone complains, ask them if they're volunteering to be caller next month.

Agreed.

There are two ways this can go. One starts with you calling tomorrow and ends with you still calling in 50 years time.

The other starts and ends now.

Choose your fate.

Just call the numbers at a steady speed, if anyone complains, raise a cheer and clap for next weeks volunteer caller, who is sure to do a better job, lol.
There aren't that many little rhymes to remember really, at the church bingo i go to we only use a few, although we're still training our callers, lol. And at the workies, any workies, you've heard club singing, well there's also club bingo calling and lord only knows what some of the rhymes are lol.
Anyhoo here's a few...

Kellys eye - number 1
one little duck - number 2 ( quack )
10 - Maggies den number 10
11 - legs 11
16 - one and six, sweet sixteen
21 - key of the door 21
22 - 2 little ducks ( quack, quack )
20, 30, 40, 50 etc. - blind 20, blind 30, blind 40, blind 50, etc.
33, 44, 55, etc - all the 3's, 33, all the 4's, 44. all the 5's, 55, etc
45 - half way there
69 - any way up 69
90 - top of the shop blind 90

I know bingo doesn't sound like it's great shakes for a night out but some old people rely on it for a bit of socialisation, without it they might not see anyone for weeks on end.

They had bingo nights in the Royal Naval Club where I barmaided, and it was always really enjoyable. And only partly because they couldn’t come up to the bar while checking their cards.

If you do do it...

Announce to them ON THE MIC before it starts that you are new to this and to go easy on you.

Google and print out in large text the stupid rhymes.

You never know, you might enjoy it more than you think 😆

😂 😂

I think you should say no and the bingo should be cancelled until someone who actually enjoys it and takes part volunteers to call.
I don't see why you feel obliged to do it just because your husband is involved in running the events.

Could you spice things up a bit by adding in your own bingo calls for your own amusement?
"56, I feel sicks"
"69, a favourite of mine"
"28. I'm bored"
"32. Can I go home now?"

I would genuinely hate to be married to someone who couldn't accept No.

Just awful.

As for running a Bingo night?
No words.

I would have a field day with this but I am super immature:

Doing a poo - number 2
Having a wee - number 3
Frank’s a bore - 44
Two big dicks - 66
Scratching your hive - 55
Bastard Ken - number 10
Virgin has been - number 19

You forgot

88 two fat ladies

Really makes volunteering meaningless when it's someone else "volunteering" you to do something that you don't want to do.

I'd make it clear to him that you're in charge of what you volunteer for and there's no way you're going to do something you hate.

I would not do it as it opens the floodgates for people to expect you to carry on doing it so there is no onus on anyone else to volunteer. So what if it is cancelled one week with a clear message sent out saying it is cancelled because no one is prepared to volunteer to call it and unless someone steps forward bingo will cease. If you do it you will get railroaded into continuing!

Oh blimey, so i did, yes, how could i forget that one?! :-/ Many thanks for the reminder.
I also forgot to add, Dr's orders number 9
I'm sure i've forgotten loads more @Batalax but two fat ladies - schoolgirl error, if ever there was one! :-/ smh at myself!

This. Unless people step up it doesn't happen.

I know I’m far too soft but I feel like it’s too late to back out now.

OP when were you strong armed into it? If it was only today it's not too late, you didn't know it was coming to back out earlier.

Or make up sayings. Key of the door… 6!
jusr be as random as hell. They will never ask you again

My DSis and I used to love the seaside bingo (guilty pleasure) when we went to Skegness. There were several different ones to choose from, but our favourite was the one with a caller who was like the equivalent of that Goes Wrong show for bingo!

He sounded like the talking clock when he spoke, and, every number, it would be something like "And on its own, all the fours - 67" whilst number 12 showed up on the big telly screen that was supposed to match what he was calling

10 - Maggies den number 10

Haven't they updated this one yet? She's been out of power for 33 years and dead for the last 10!

@Nootherwayout it really isn’t too late to back out. You tell DH you’re not doing it and everyone will know by lunchtime that it’s been cancelled.

I agree with pp who say that nothing will change until you cancel. Why are you putting yourself out to do something that you hate for people who don’t care?

Just no - don't do it! Neither your nor your DH's efforts are appreciated.

I'd actually hate the whole thing. A very old friend of mine has moved to a village and the amount of shit she and her DH are doing re the village hall is nuts!! This was once upon a time an edgy, cool, teen-twenty-something.... She even joined the WI!!!!!