To really, really not want to do this.

[Nootherwayout]

I’ve used a throwaway username for this because anyone from my village would instantly recognise me 😂.

DH (and I but to a lesser extent) volunteer at our local village hall. DH is slightly obsessed with it and puts in hours and hours of volunteering most weeks. He does a lot of the organising for the Friday night social nights.

Tomorrow is the monthly bingo night and DH has not found anyone to call it this month. He has basically railroaded me into doing it, ie if I don’t do it, it can’t go ahead. He can’t because he’s the only volunteer available to run the rest of the night and no one else from the committee or village has agreed to do it.

But I don’t want to for the following reasons:

I hate bingo, I really, actually hate it! I never go to the bingo nights or if I do I sit outside with other friends that don’t play.
I don’t know the weird rhymes you’re meant to call out for certain numbers so I will have to try to learn them tomorrow.
People get really annoyed and complain when they’re not happy about the speed the numbers are called etc and I don’t want to be complained about when I’m doing something for free.
I’m 6 months in to a busy public sector job that I’m still learning and I’m knackered by Friday nights.
I’m happy to do my bit and have planned and read out the quiz on quiz night 3 times so I am confident getting up in public but I said to DH right at the beginning that I do not want to call bingo.
I know full well that next month we’ll be in the same position and I’ll be expected to do it again.
My friends will be sat outside in the sunshine and I won’t be able to sit with them.
I’ll have to fake enthusiasm or it’s not fair on the people who’ve paid to play.
Did I mention, I hate bingo?

AIBU to just really, really not want to do it and if so any tips for faking enthusiasm?

I think @Nootherwayout is going to be so refreshingly brilliant at bingo-calling, they’ll be begging her to do it every time.

Then tell the ungrateful bastards to shove every one of the bingo balls up their arse. And then they can fart them out

You need to do Filthy Bingo
’1 up the bum, no harm done’
Equal rights 69
Number two, off for a poo
8, the inches he says he has

This. But I bet you won't.

Fart them out 😂

Sounds like OP is going to shame the village!

please keep is updated OP!

Absolutely this!

Big notice:
Cancelled due to lack of interest and support.

Surely it's someone elses turn to step up. There is only so much you can do and sounds like your DH is running himself ragged trying to keep the show going. You sit with your friends and DH can announce no Bingo this week as no caller is available.

What a bunch of complete CF’s - I would put a note up on the village. Notice board saying we volunteer to do these things & if you want to continue enjoying these events, please volunteer or at least help with the clear up. Also, any more moaning about petty things like not enough for the kids then you can all go fuck yourselves you bunch of selfish & entitled lot.

There are websites online where they call out the numbers AND a rhyme, just use one of those and a speaker. Even better if you have a projector because the one I've seen used had the last five numbers displayed too so less fussing

I would not be able to resist the temptation to make up my own rhymes and would probably get run out of the village "Carrying a gun, it's number one" "Gammy knee, number three" and so on

Do it but really fuck it up. Don’t do any of the rhymes, just shout out the numbers in various acccents. Or make up sayings. Key of the door… 6!
jusr be as random as hell. They will never ask you again

Definitely don’t do it. He needs to cancel it and be clear due to no volunteers. Don’t be railroaded.

Stick a notice on the door saying that if no one calls there is no bingo. This is insanity.

I live the idea of making up your own phrases. But my idea would be to make them completely random and bearing no connection to the actual number

eg
83 - dog needs a wee
27 - road trip to Devon
3 - tax bill

but in all seriousness I would decline and put a notice that without volunteers the bingo part will be cancelled. People can be very selfish about this stuff - time to have more givers rather than just takers.

On a slight tangent, there are people who resent and malign those who do all of the community stuff. The one in my village who does all the organising gets called “King Wayne” by some neighbours. Well that’s my excuse for never volunteering, anyway.

I don’t understand why you are both martyring yourselves for a village that just doesn’t give a toss?

I agrée with this. Maybe someone will pull their finger out if it’s clear it won’t go ahead if they don’t.

don’t let people start relying on you to do it or be the regular bingo caller

@Nootherwayout I’d be doing it in a really monotone ‘I’m dead inside’ voice. Very loud to get feedback on the mike. That will ensure you are never asked back. 😂

I’m actually the chair of a large village charity and I feel your pain. People have loads of ideas for what ‘we’ could do - but it’s the same people each time expected to organise and run events. The idea ‘gifters’ often couldn’t possiblyyyyyy help out. Far too busy with important things. But complain we don’t do enough for the village.

I organised events for about 20 years, and mostly had good response when I asked for volunteers, though some had severely twisted arms.

I was surprised when one woman registered her son for the season, and asked how many volunteer hours were required. I looked blank at her, and she explained that her son was involved in junior ice hockey, and parents were required to volunteer, either at games or fund-raising events.

Tell them at the outset that you are only doing this because no-one else would, you won't be using any rhymes because you don't know them and life's too short to learn them, any complaints about the bingo calling will go straight in the bin, and if they don't like it one of them can step up and do it instead.

Absolutely this

While I have the microphone I’ll be putting out a call for volunteers and telling them it won’t be able to go ahead next month without a volunteer and telling DH (again) it’s a hard no for next month and that he needs to find someone else or cancel

From long experience I can tell you this won't work, OP; they'll get their bingo evening because both DH and the attendees know you've stepped up, and that's exactly what you'll be expected to do again and again

As PPs have said, the only way to solve this is to make sure they don't get their evening if nobody else will help, but if you choose to be "far too soft" that's entirely on you

You can use a bingo caller download and that will do it all for you including the calling of the numbers.
The only thing you have to do is cross check the winners numbers.

It would still require you to be present though and could understand if you would rather it was cancelled.

I would happily do it for you but it is almost a guarantee that we won’t be near in location.