To really, really not want to do this.

[Nootherwayout]

I’ve used a throwaway username for this because anyone from my village would instantly recognise me 😂.

DH (and I but to a lesser extent) volunteer at our local village hall. DH is slightly obsessed with it and puts in hours and hours of volunteering most weeks. He does a lot of the organising for the Friday night social nights.

Tomorrow is the monthly bingo night and DH has not found anyone to call it this month. He has basically railroaded me into doing it, ie if I don’t do it, it can’t go ahead. He can’t because he’s the only volunteer available to run the rest of the night and no one else from the committee or village has agreed to do it.

But I don’t want to for the following reasons:

I hate bingo, I really, actually hate it! I never go to the bingo nights or if I do I sit outside with other friends that don’t play.
I don’t know the weird rhymes you’re meant to call out for certain numbers so I will have to try to learn them tomorrow.
People get really annoyed and complain when they’re not happy about the speed the numbers are called etc and I don’t want to be complained about when I’m doing something for free.
I’m 6 months in to a busy public sector job that I’m still learning and I’m knackered by Friday nights.
I’m happy to do my bit and have planned and read out the quiz on quiz night 3 times so I am confident getting up in public but I said to DH right at the beginning that I do not want to call bingo.
I know full well that next month we’ll be in the same position and I’ll be expected to do it again.
My friends will be sat outside in the sunshine and I won’t be able to sit with them.
I’ll have to fake enthusiasm or it’s not fair on the people who’ve paid to play.
Did I mention, I hate bingo?

AIBU to just really, really not want to do it and if so any tips for faking enthusiasm?

Absolutely this. If you do it tomorrow night, but refuse next month, everyone will complain "but you did it last time, whyyyyy can't you do it again?"

Don't let it be an option.

This!

"no one else from the committee or village has agreed to do it."

Consequences. Nobody volunteers, it doesn't happen. Nobody's going to feel the need to volunteer if you plug the gap. Tell your husband to back off, you're looking to the long-term good of the village hall and this is the best way to highlight to the rest of the village that they need to get their finger out.

This.

Time to tell DH to stop being such a bloody people pleaser and cancel it. Give them all a shake, they need it.

It's true that the more you do, the more you're expected to do. Sod the ungrateful bunch of twats.

Might you have an ailment coming on and unable to volunteer? Or just do a really crap job or break down in tears mid session? What's wrong with dh to want to do all this anyway?Part of this giving away of his free time could be used (harrassing) canvassing the villagers for new recruits not forcing you to make a tit of yourself.

It never ceases to astonish me just how rude, ungrateful and demanding some people can be when volunteers are giving up a lot of their time to help them.

I think that, sometimes, these people assume that you must be being paid for it - in spite of the obvious lack of any funds with which to pay you - because they personally would never in a million years dream of volunteering themselves and they simply can't compute nice, kind people who would

My best friend leads a weekly local community children's club (a bit like Scouts or Guides) and they get this regularly. She spends hours each week preparing for it and doing all the admin. People pay what equates to around £3 a week, which includes all the costs of providing the club, insurance, activities, resources, snacks/drinks etc.. They even include the uniform from a centrally-funded 'bank' (that all has to be paid for initially), so that parents don't have to keep paying for new clothes as their kids grow, and it then all gets passed down to the younger ones.

Some of the petty cavilling parents are full of ideas of how they could 'do it better' or provide more stuff (that has to be paid for, simply beyond the means of the group, whilst keeping subs affordable). Worst of all, these are usually the parents who take forever to pay their subs, if they bother to pay at all.

No idea why you’re giving this any headspace at all. No is a complete sentence. .

I also agree that it's pointless saying that it won't go ahead next month, unless we have volunteers. Most people - even considerate ones, but especially the rude entitled ones - just don't have that length of time on their radar.

Plus, they will hear 'unless we have volunteers' and automatically assume that it's your problem to find the volunteers and it won't cross their mind that they could volunteer themselves.

Sometimes, the shock of very short notice and an absolute is all that works. Don't tell people anything with a reasonable notice period, or that includes an 'unless'; tell them the day before and state that it will not now happen.

Agree with this. (Fellow village dweller!)

I'm now remembering Still Game, and how Jack & Victor treated Isa with the Christmas dinner - where they were very glad to have her cook it for them, but she had to leave it for them on the mat, as they couldn't be bothered to listen to her blethering if she handed it to them in person.

Mayyybe people are not volunteering in the hope it will be cancelled and they can go and have a proper night out.
Just saying.

If they're not volunteering to help, they're definitely not going to volunteer to participate if they don't want to do it.

Yes! 😂

Oh dear I've lost my voice cough cough

You only have to look at the posters on this thread to see why you never get any volunteers. The majority can’t be bothered to put themselves out just a tiny bit, for anyone or anything. The whole “screw them, don’t bother” attitude is what makes it so hard for the people like OP and her DH who do give a damn.

You need to refuse to do it. Let it be cancelled, you need to let everyone be disappointed. This is the only way to get others to volunteer. Explain this to your husband. Let him know you are happy to call the bingo in a few months time, but not until a couple of other people put their hands up first.

You only have to look at the posters on this thread to see why you never get any volunteers. The majority can’t be bothered to put themselves out just a tiny bit, for anyone or anything. The whole “screw them, don’t bother” attitude is what makes it so hard for the people like OP and her DH who do give a damn.

There's a massive difference between a volunteer and a doormat. Do you really keep on doing favours for people who keep complaining about your efforts, show a distinct lack of any gratitude and feel it beneath them to ever consider contributing as well?

I would do it to support my DH because the rest of the village had let him down but say clearly afterwards that I was never doing it again.

I would do it to support my DH because the rest of the village had let him down but say clearly afterwards that I was never doing it again.

The situation will be exactly the same come next month - only slightly more difficult, as OP did it this month, so why has she 'suddenly started to be unreasonable'?

Sounds like you think it a bit beneath you. You are happy to do the quiz but not anything common like bingo perhaps?
I'd take that pole out your fanny and try to be a bit lighthearted about it. You don't need to tell everyone you're too posh to call out numbers as I'm pretty sure they already know.
I did bingo for the village hall too but I didn't bother learning the rhymes I just made up stupid pointless ones so everyone had a laugh at how rubbish I was.

Whoever wins gets to call next months bingo! Problem solved 😂😂😂

The event ought to be cancelled due to lack of volunteer's. A message asking if anyone can volunteer. If no names come forward, then cancel everything.

I am sure there must be regular attendees......tell them you will be drawing up a rota, and everyone will need to take a turn at calling - that way may be better received than just asking for volunteers, and people won't feel like they are going to be landed with it every week if they volunteer.

Or this.....genius!!

Id cancel it or put out a message that due to no bingo caller volunteering it looks like it will be cancelled. People are only going to keep ripping the piss and not helping unless they suffer as a result.

Very true. She'll be judged for not stepping up because "she did it last time so what's her problem"