Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say my choice of holiday destination is not cause of his car crash

202 replies

Flowerpower333 · 28/06/2023 20:49

I made the mistake of not getting dd’s passport sorted for a holiday and so we couldn’t go. We went somewhere in this country and my partner crashed his car. He says i should pay half the damage as it was my fault we were there for not checking the passport. My argument is where ever he was, it is nobody else’s responsibility but his how he drives and he has equal responsibility to me to check whether a passport is in date or not. He says because I booked the holiday and I wanted to go that it was my responsibility to check the passport.

OP posts:
LaBefana · 29/06/2023 13:49

thecatsthecats · 29/06/2023 13:40

I was reversing in a tricky spot once, was convinced that my car was scraping a wall. Asked my husband to look - he said fine. I continued.

Massive scrape.

Not his fault at all. I was the one in charge of the car.

Well, that's right. You are solely responsible for your car if you are driving. If you couldn't see, for yourself, that it was OK, you should not have carried out the manoeuvre. If someone in your car says, for example, that it's all right to pull out, or someone on the pavement waves you on, and they were wrong, and there's an accident, it is you who are going to be in the shit, not them. My first driving instructor drummed this into me.

thecatsthecats · 29/06/2023 13:54

LaBefana · 29/06/2023 13:49

Well, that's right. You are solely responsible for your car if you are driving. If you couldn't see, for yourself, that it was OK, you should not have carried out the manoeuvre. If someone in your car says, for example, that it's all right to pull out, or someone on the pavement waves you on, and they were wrong, and there's an accident, it is you who are going to be in the shit, not them. My first driving instructor drummed this into me.

I know it's right, that's why I said it!

I actually piss him off by refusing to accept his comments on whether it's clear on his side in terms of traffic. And yesterday pointed out to him that another car had accepted the "go ahead" flash of someone else, and barrelled into my path without taking it into account - which is part of the reason I never flash another car myself.

I stop, and they can choose what to do accordingly.

FiddleLeaf · 29/06/2023 15:39

Flowerpower333 · 28/06/2023 22:44

If your partner crashed their car on a day out. Would yiu oay half?

No, it’s what insurance is for.

FiddleLeaf · 29/06/2023 15:39

And my DP is an adult & his ego can handle accountability

verabarbleen · 29/06/2023 17:44

He's being silly! Make him watch final destination 😂

verabarbleen · 29/06/2023 17:45

Something even worse may have happened on holiday! Maybe you saved his life 😬

Vinomummyinlockdown · 29/06/2023 18:00

Now I’ve heard it all.

Shallistayorshalligo · 29/06/2023 18:07

Tell him, you saved his life by not going on that holiday abroad. Most definitely he would have even worse accident in there, resulting him being in coma. You also saved him from being raped and robbed in there.
honestly, what a twat

towriteyoumustlive · 29/06/2023 18:09

Flowerpower333 · 28/06/2023 22:44

If your partner crashed their car on a day out. Would yiu oay half?

Surely it depends on the cost to repair.

You say crashed but then mentioned that all he did was reverse into a post.

How much are we talking about? Just a new bumper? If it isn't going to cost so much then I'd probably just go 50/50. If it's an expensive fix then the insurance need to be informed.

BestBeforeddmmyy · 29/06/2023 18:23

His car accident is not your fault. Be glad he wants out as he is a child.

Georgyporky · 29/06/2023 18:35

This has given me a good laugh.
My late DM used to say "look what you made me do" when it was clearly nonsense.

I couldn't believe it when my late DH did the same !

My car was in for MOT, and we used his car to go somewhere. He'd forgotten to renew his insurance, so he expected me to pay the fine when he got a tug.

YDBear · 29/06/2023 18:45

He’s an arsehole. Oh, and a shitty driver too, apparently. Thank god you’re splitting up with him. Don’t give him a penny.

Ep1cfail · 29/06/2023 18:50

Absolutely not. As the driver he takes responsibility for his driving, the condition and safety of the car and his passenger. He reversed too quickly. He should be thanking his lucky stars that no one got hurt instead of trying to shift blame and pass the buck. Good jobs your separating, albeit reluctantly, because he sounds like a prick.

Owl55 · 29/06/2023 18:54

He’s a knob😜

FictionalCharacter · 29/06/2023 18:56

towriteyoumustlive · 29/06/2023 18:09

Surely it depends on the cost to repair.

You say crashed but then mentioned that all he did was reverse into a post.

How much are we talking about? Just a new bumper? If it isn't going to cost so much then I'd probably just go 50/50. If it's an expensive fix then the insurance need to be informed.

Really? You’d pay 50% of the cost of repair when your partner had an accident in his car that was his fault, when it’s his car that he has insured himself (and you have your own car that you insure yourself)?

bridgetreilly · 29/06/2023 19:02

I’d like to see him try that on his insurance claim!

Xmasbaby11 · 29/06/2023 19:08

Depends how things work between you tbh. DH has paid for my repairs before and sometimes we've paid for his repairs out of the joint account. Nothing to do with blame, just who could afford it at the time!

I wouldn't like being told you had to in these circumstances .. that doesn't make sense at all and I would not want to contribute.

Ilovecleaning · 29/06/2023 19:16

He’s just blaming you for missing his foreign holiday.

lovemelovemydogs · 29/06/2023 19:17

The red flags are waving frantically at you here. Heed them and get a new partner!!!!

BungleandGeorge · 29/06/2023 19:20

Did you offer to drive? Or was he expected to do it without a joint decision, in which case I think you should contribute

MsRosley · 29/06/2023 19:27

I've never heard anything so ridiculous. Laugh in his face and say 'Nice try'.

Pinkfluff76 · 29/06/2023 19:31

What the fuck planet does he live on??

PUGMEISTER21 · 29/06/2023 19:32

He is a grown man, he should be renewing his own passport. You are not his secretary. Blaming you twice for his own failings is not on

CatherinedeBourgh · 29/06/2023 19:40

If he hadn't impregnated you there wouldn't be a dd's passport so you wouldn't have forgotten to check it.

So it's his fault you didn't go on the foreign holiday anyway.

Greenshed · 29/06/2023 19:40

Well, he’s being pathetically childish, isn’t he? What a plonker.

Swipe left for the next trending thread