Husband expects me to do so many out of school activities

[Flopberry]

I have a 4 & 6 year old and current time table is;

monday acting class for both in our local area, an hour later my son has football out of our area and leaves a lot of hanging about as not enough time to go home.

tuesday - football for my son, meaning I’m driving home to go back out of town

Friday - tennis in local area this is fine (for both)

Saturday - football out of town and then dancing (dancing for both)

sunday - park run out of our area

I messaged him and spoke today about how I need to drop something as I’m going into my final
year of nursing and I work bank shifts too, I simply can’t cope anymore. But instead of any compassion he’s asked me to now take my son to golf lessons on Thursday evenings (6 week course) I should point out that most of these activities are on during the summer holidays.

he’s making me feel like I want my own children to miss out. Of course I don’t, I’m just so mentally drained.

so am I being unreasonable to say no the golf (not that I have much of a choice, I most likely will be forced)

ABSOLUTELY 100% a correct assessment of a very unhealthy and unpleasant situation which many women sadly will be familiar with 😥The advice to leave ASAP is also sadly 100% the right way to go and go she should without any guilt or regret because if she doesn't regret is what she will feel years down the line! 😏😱

My kids only did a few out of school activities. They weren't interested and, as I was the one organising and taking them, I didn't push them. They prefer riding their bikes/ scooters, having friends over, going fishing, bushwalking. I don't feel guilty at all. We sleep in on Saturdays and have evenings at home. They taught themselves via youtube to play piano, fix motors, change tyres on bikes, make movies, mix songs etc. My 15 year old has a profitable ebay business. Nope, not feeling guilty at all. Remember, do the best you can for you, the lives of others are not a true benchmark.

DH is like this with DS’ football which he insisted on setting up early on Sunday morning despite him already having activities on sat morning. I bookee it and then told him I wouldn’t be takint him - so either he does, or we waste the money. Now several weeks in he wants to cancel it / change it to the afternoon (surprise surprise) but DD won’t let him because she enjoys that we get Sunday morning together without the boys.

show the abusive shit this thread, he's keeping you all busy and out of his way. you need to stick up for your kids, its far too much.

Never show an abuser any conversation you have had about them. This really bad advice. The abuse always escalates at the first sign of dissent.

I'd drop Monday football and Park run. That would then give the 4 year 3 sessions per week and 5 for 6 old. It also means the only day with 2 activities is Saturday so more realistic. And a rest on Sunday. Also make sure DH helps on days when he's around.