Husband and Chinese take away

[SeaSnakes1]

We all love a Chinese take away in our house - we have three teenagers. A couple of months ago my husband had to go gluten free. Chinese take away is limited in terms of gluten free options so he’s said he’d rather not bother- fair enough his choice.

He’s now said nobody else in the house can get one as it’s cruel. He adored the Cantonese chicken balls and chicken chow mien. I thought he was joking , but he’s not. He has seriously said that it’s totally unacceptable and unfair for anyone to get a Chinese take away.

AIBU?

He’s unreasonable to ban anyone from eating anything. But, because takeaways are usually a family treat, I think it would be mean to choose something that one family member can’t eat.

I think you just have to start talking with the kids about ordering a Chinese takeaway, to prompt his response, and then good naturedly giggle and say "oh, I'm sorry, were you serious? That's ridiculous".

I love Chinese but it makes me ill now so I avoid it. If everyone else fancies a takeaway I order Indian/Italian/whatever I’m fancying that I know won’t make me ill and everyone else orders what they fancy. He’s behaving like a child, it’s shit but he needs to get over it.

When you were pregnant with your kids did he give up sleeping on his back and sleep side only with all the attendant leg and hip pain because it would be cruel not to?

Tell him to get some perspective.

Your best bet is to try and find a Chinese that does GF and really gets it. We were lucky and I've just finished stuffing my face tonight 🤣. It is so notorious for cross contamination though so you have to really trust them. I can see both sides. As a relatively newly diagnosed coeliac it is so hard to lose so much of what you love to eat. I will never get to eat iced gems again 😭. Or Burger King. Or Greggs. Or most pizza. Or decent cookies or doughnuts. Etc etc. Worse still when people are enjoying it in front of you. Takeaway is very tricky as most places are not suitable. There are only 4 places in our decent sized town that I would order from now. On the flip side life goes on and he will need to get used to being left out. Find me gluten free on Facebook is your friend for locating suitable places to eat. There may be a GF Chinese takeaway group too.

My DH is gluten free and we order Chinese. He just eats one of the GF dishes with rice. I usually order gluten free too as we like to share dishes, and it would be sad to not share.

Only 1 way to find out...

I used to be wheat and dairy free (thank god it wasn’t a permanent thing). I’m also veggie.

I didn’t once dictate what others could or couldn’t eat in front of or with me.

Cos I’m an adult and don’t let my choices (not really a choice as such, other than choosing not to make myself I’ll) impact on others.

it was difficult, but I just found other things I could have instead which were still nice. Thought tbh, just not having to cook and to buy a ready meal was a treat!

Definitely cook your own but get him involved too
Our kids love fried chicken and special fried rice, noodles and I'm considering widening the menu choices soon -- need to learn how to do the lush 'bits' ... although it's a bit of a faff lol 😝

Can you not wait for a night he is out, and order one then? That’s what I’d do.

If you did order a Chinese, would it be possible to order something from somewhere else for him? Or does that not work with minimum spend etc.

Just to clarify having RTFT, most Chinese takeaways have nothing that can be considered GF. It's probably the trickiest takeaway to get on this diet (as in way of eating not weight loss!)

I rather kick him out than stop the Chinese

He’s being ridiculous. You could offer a compromise and tell him nobody will order his favourite dish.

He needs to get over that. I watch my family have doughnuts and pasties and crusty bread and it makes me a bit sad but no way would I deny them these things. I know gluten is bad for me and that makes it worth not eating it. Just like not drinking when pregnant. But forever.

He is being unreasonable. He can get something else, like many people do who don't eat certain things. I can't eat lots of stuff that my family can. He needs to accept it, if he is gluten free for life that means he will be around food he can't eat and will need to like other foods. How silly to try to let his stomach rule other peoples food choices.

Don't do this op. Ignore people like this. Eat it in your own home

I have to follow a GF diet and wouldn’t dream of banning the other family members from ordering a Chinese meal. He is totally selfish .

I suspect from OP's updates that this is bigger than Chinese food.

OP all OK?

Where do all of you who have GF chinese options live? Chinese is the worst takeaway for a GF person IMO!

Somebody upthread suggested M&S GF tempera chicken served with sweet chilli sauce, and I guarantee that is the way to any GF person's heart!

Of course hes being selfish, especially if it's only occasionally you have one. I love love love pizza but I can't eat it anymore as it leaves my stomach very unhappy, but I'd never guilt DH and DS into never having one! I just choose something I really like and have that.

😂😂😂

FUCK NO

I'm on a very low fat, low sugar diet for medical reasons. My family are pretty accepting about meals and about my baked goods but I love them too so of course they get doughnuts etc. I was out one night and my DH had fish and chips. He even got rid of the papers so I wouldn't smell it and get sad. It's about balance. Your DH needs to realise that love and compromise work both ways. You're trying to go gluten-free but you also need your treats too. I would find a sympathetic takeaway as many Chinese use cornflour rather than wheat and I know of no valid reason why you'd put flour in chow-mein. I guess the biggest problem would be gluten free soy but I can't imagine a decent restaurant not being able to do certain dishes gluten-free. You can buy gluten-free soy in most shops or direct from Amoy. I eat quite a few Fakeaways and they do help with the cravings.

Why could t you have watermelon or grapes?

Not an immediate solution, but in all honesty you can easily get the ingredients to make a Chinese takeaway at home - and I’m not even talking about from scratch. It’s all pre done/sauce concentrate.