Should I make my DD include her Half sister on her Bday trip?

[BamBamBambi]

Our Dds (11) birthday is next month. She has requested for her and 4 friends to go to the cinema and watch a movie and then get Pizza Hut after.

However it will be our weekend to have my dsd (14) and Iv mentioned to her about maybe letting her sister come along but she’s reluctant and doesn’t want her there. She wants it to be just her and her mates.

Im unsure if I should broach the subject again or let her have the birthday trip she wants as after all it is her birthday!

Normally this isn’t a issue as any gatherings have landed on the weekends we don’t have dsd.

Im leaning towards letting her have the trip she wants.

For context We also have a son that won’t be attending the cinema either so it’s not like she’s just leaving dsd out.

How old is your son?

I think it’s fair for each child to have a birthday outing with their own friends and do family cake/tea at home for everyone.

It's her birthday party and her other sibling isn't going. Of course DSD doesn't go.

He’s 10. I had them close together.

If they were the same age I would encourage it but 11 and 14 are very different. Would the 14 year old even want to hand out with some 11 year olds?

The 14 yo probably wouldn't want to go anyway with 11 yo girls! It's your DD's birthday and she wants to celebrate with her friends. DSD is family and can celebrate her birthday with her at home.

Tbh I can’t imagine a 14 year old would want to join an 11 year olds birthday party.

Perfectly fine for dd to just go with her friends.

Obviously don’t make her take your stepchild.

(Half sister or stepdaughter? Not that it matters for the thread)

Just realised I said YANBU meaning not unreasonable for your DD to just go with her friends. YABU to make her take DSD if that makes sense.

Half sister IS her step daughter? The girls share the same father so they are half sisters. OP is the mother of one only and the other is her step daughter....

OP, I think it's fine to just be DD and her friends, and the son is also being left at home. I always did things with just my friends on my birthday (not my sister)

Of course DSD shouldn’t go. In the same way DS shouldn’t go.

I had plenty of birthday outings with friends and not with my sister (similar age gap), it’s a totally different dynamic having big sis be there.

Why would she want her older sister with her when she’s going to the cinema with her friends???

It's absolutely fine for her to have the birthday celebration she wants, with her friends.

Yes, let her have the trip she wants with her friends. DSD can join the family celebration at home.

What's the voting? 🤔

Very different ages, I wouldn't make your DD invite her. Also it would change the dynamics ... her 11 year old friends could be a bit in awe of a 14 year old, thinking she's a cool teen etc and the focus could be on her rather than your DD.

Have a family celebration and that’s her friends celebration; there’s a domaine age gap between me and my sister and I never joined her parties as a teen. Don’t feel that you have to over compensate.

I actually didn’t mean to enable voting! That was an accident.

Forget the “half sister” aspect. If she was her full sister would you insist she invites her? No, would be my view, in the same way that DS is not invited. Her party, her rulz 😉

Just to make it clear I think DSD would like to go to the cinema.

Although she would never say anything if we said she can’t go.

The only reason I’m asking is because DH said he feels a bit mean saying she has to stay at home. I think it’s because they are both girls!

I would have not wanted to invite my sister to my small birthday with friends. And at 14, I would have hated the idea of going to my 11 year olds sisters birthday. The fact it's step sibling makes no difference, she gets the party she wants.

I’ve got 4 daughters and they don’t always have their siblings at their birthday parties - it’s nice for them to have time on their own with their friends - we do generally do a ‘party tea’ with all the kids and have cake so they get to celebrate each others birthdays that way.

If it was her regular sister rather than "half" it wouldn't be a question similar to her brother not being invited? Just because they're both girls doesn't mean she has to be involved in everything! Surely your DSD and DS can do something separate when your DD is at her birthday day?

I didn't go to any of my sisters young teen / teenage birthday events because of the age gap - not because we're half sisters, but because we weren't the same age doing the same things.

Of course she shouldn’t be forced to invite her if she doesn’t want her there.

Dh could take dsd to different movie and out for dinner afterwards?