To not be able to stop thinking about the Titan tragedy?

[coraldiamond]

I cannot get those poor men out of my mind. It seems to have quietened down in the news now, but every so often I catch myself thinking of them and their poor families who are now having to adjust to life without them.

It is so, so sad.

Give it a rest with the whataboutery

It's not whataboutery, it all happened at the same time. The same people who are crying about the victims in one disaster are trying to shut up those who are crying about the victims in the other disaster.

@Tessisme

Well spotted and we do have to be wary of how the media uses that technique to manipulate us.

I think there is a truth in this. These people had 'faces', so to speak, where refugees are more an anonymous group - although no less deserving of sympathy. It is only when the media focuses in on a particular tragedy, putting a name to a face, when these things become more personal. Unfortunately, that's just the way the media works and how the human psyche reacts.

I'm embarrassed that you even think class is relevant, where anybody has died.

Agree with this. The way some people seem determined to control others‘ feelings is somewhat bizarre.

It isn't a tragedy. It's the very possible outcome of the trip these men wanted to make. They knew they could die but chose to go anyway.

If anything, they died doing something they loved doing.

All except the 19 year old who sounds like he didn't want to go at all.

These people are hysterical nut jobs.

They will find any excuse to beat the class drum.

It will have been over incredibly quickly OP, they didn't suffer for long.

Yes it's a tragedy no matter who drowns, black or white, rich or poor.

All except the 19 year old who sounds like he didn't want to go at all

The mother was interviewed on BBC this morning claiming that he was a very keen bean indeed.

Still, the fact he was only 19 makes me sympathetic to his plight. Struggling to feel much if any sympathy for the CEO, he played hard and fast with other people’s lives and isn’t around to face the consequences.

"It will have been over incredibly quickly OP, they didn't suffer for long."

They won't have known a thing about it. No suffering whatsoever.

Why is it ok and socially acceptable here to lose sympathy or feel less pity for calamities befalling rich people? That makes absolutely no sense to me at all, it feels pretty despicable in fact

You are not being unreasonable, we all have some events which may seem to have nothing to do with us but which affect us. You’re only human. Just keep in mind they did not suffer and do not let it take over your thinking too much.

If a rich man was walking down the street minding his own business, when a car mounted the pavement and hit him, I wouldn’t have any less sympathy for him than a poor man. Wealth is irrelevant there. I might think that being the widow or orphans of such a person is less likely to incur the huge financial burden and stress than those of the poor man’s widow and children, possibly left scrimping and struggling to pay the mortgage, etc. But levels of sympathy relating to the actual death would be the same.

The above doesn’t apply in the sub case. The men put themselves in an unnecessarily dangerous situation, one that they were only able to do so by virtue of extreme wealth. They took (arguably) extreme risks with their own safety and paid the ultimate price. I do think it’s unlikely that the passengers and guide truly understood the exact level of risk and that this had probably been concealed from them. That’s on the CEO’s head, but he’s dead and can’t answer for his failings.

I do feel less sympathy for the submariners fate than I would for drowned migrants/refugees or even fishermen going out to do a day’s work and encounter a treacherous sea. And that’s to do with the level of choice and compulsion involved in the various scenarios.

I think this is just normal human psychology. It was all over the media for days, with worst case scenarios of their possible suffering (luckily which weren’t true we now know). Those ‘what ifs’ were awful to contemplate and they were all over the media as it was happening.

I think it’s understandable that the widespread media coverage has a lot to say for how you are feeling now. It’s almost like we all ‘lived it’ as it was happening. Sadly much more than migrant boats so we don’t really see the horror there to the same extent. There are also fewer personal stories conveyed for those, so don’t impact on an individual level (again not saying this is right, it isn’t). Not saying it’s right, of course other tragedies are happening every day.

I try to do what I can, donate what I can to worthwhile causes but find watching media coverage personally too much sometimes and not helpful to my own mental health.

Unless you are actively going out and putting some effort into preventing migrant deaths then you are just using their deaths to justify laughing or shrugging at a dead 19 year. Yes he had privilege - but so do most of you living in this country compared to millions of children who die each decade from war, famine or preventable diseases. Do you think its acceptable for people to meme the death of your child because they are privileged in the world? No? Because I don't think it's ever justified to act this way when someone has died or lost their loved one unless the world is better off without them.
All lives are precious. Be a better person.

@Butchyrestingface

I do feel less sympathy for the submariners fate than I would for drowned migrants/refugees or even fishermen going out to do a day’s work and encounter a treacherous sea. And that’s to do with the level of choice and compulsion involved in the various scenarios.

You know, I've never felt that my sympathy has levels or can be used up. It's either there, or it isn't. Perhaps we are mixing up the emotions of grief and sympathy here.

I feel sad for all of them and their families, as they are no longer here. Certainly, the submersible occupants weren't forced to be there, but the same could be said of people who go recreational deep-sea fishing and strike trouble. Or those who go for a joyflight in helicopters in a holiday area, but the helicopters collide (to cite a recent case). Where does your sympathy-line end?

They died doing something which had a high chance of death and was completely unnecessary.

Horrible events that play on our minds are more about what taps into our personalised deep fears than who are the most deserving victims. In the same way we all have different types of horror films that get to us (or don't).

I'm guessing for the OP it's the isolation and claustrophobia of being trapped miles under the sea that has provoked those feelings.

What people are saying is that they knowingly signed up to an extremely dangerous activity.

When Kirsty MacColl from the Pogues was diving and was killed by a speedboat coming towards her, that was a rich woman killed by a rich man but she didn’t sign a disclaimer knowing what she was doing could result in her death.

I watched Titanic, the movie, at the weekend. It sort of put it into perspective. The five men died instantly. The poor souls who died in the wreck they were going to look at spent several hours contemplating their death in freezing conditions. Only a handful that entered the water with life vests on were rescued and survived. Death was not instant and would have been pretty painful. I know which scenario I would prefer.
Maybe it’s time that all visits to the sight stop. They have saturated the scientific exploration of the wreck, let’s just leave it alone.

The media coverage was very strange and sensationalist and that really wasn’t helpful. It reminds me of the boys in the cave who were rescued. They were still leading with this story after it was known that the boat had imploded. Very odd and unsettling. I feel very sorry for the boy who didn’t want to go-it seems very unfair.

Also worrying is that the company tgat operated the sub had spammed multiple famous people trying to get them to go, were operating a boat known. to be unsafe etc etc.

I get my news from reputable sources which state thefacts and don’t overdramatise. It makes life much calmer.

But that is their choice. And they are suggesting it was combustible implosion. They wouldn't have felt a thing. They didn't suffer.

I know what you mean. It's because we were dragged into the story as it unfolded and encouraged to imagine being trapped there, slowly running out of air. An absolute horror story. And some of those videos on Twitter, with the eerie sound effects... We knew the men's names, faces and stories. There was the hope they might be rescued. Personally I was relieved to learn it would all have been over very quickly.

Yes I know that. But there was a week of coverage to the contrary and my comment was more about what specifically has tapped into the OP's psyche more than what is and isn't factual about the case.

Think it might be a 'claustrophobic trigger' type reaction?

Royal Navy and US Navy submariner post on Facebook etc are some grim reading at times.

Implosion and instant deaths would be preferable to running out of oxygen or freezing.
Remember those sailors on Russian Kursk sub? Some survived but died later on.
Similar was that British sub near Liverpool before WWII in shallow water where 99 people (not just crew) died.