To be irritated at everyone wanting to bring their dogs to our BBQ?

[Yellowandgreendots]

We have about 20 people (from 5 different families) coming over for a BBQ today 3-7/8pm (or whenever they want to leave!)

We are lucky in that we do have a big garden but we all have babies/ young children and we have 2 dogs of our own (that we’ll likely keep inside as it’s going to be 29 here today so too hot for them)

We have some shade in the garden, but that will pretty much be taken up by everyone plus all of our children and babies (going to put paddling pools and play mags down for the babies)

3 of the families have now asked to bring their dogs. DH just wants to say no, I feel like an arsehole saying no but equally, I really can’t be arsed with other people’s dogs crapping and weeing all over the lawn (we don’t let our 2 toilet on the lawn, they have a patch of grass and patio down the side of the house that they use) none of these dogs are well trained and I just know they’ll end up charging about, crashing into everything and everyone and I don’t want to have to worry about the babies on the playmats etc either.

TBH I’m a bit bewildered why people want to bring them? It’s going to be nearly 30 degrees, there’s not that much shade, they’re all only going to be here for 4/5 hours and all only live 5/10 mins away if they really felt like they had to go back to let the dogs out or what ever.

DH said they only want to bring them because we have a big garden and they think their dogs will probably have a ‘whale of a time’ charging about it, but I said surely they wouldn’t let their dogs do that in this heat anyway?

AIBU that it seems to be the case more and more nowadays that people can’t go anywhere without bringing their bloody dogs.

im not a dog fan at all. I put up with my extended families dogs for certain visits. They know this. They always still ask me though “ is it ok if we bring…” and wouldn’t get upset if I said no.
but they know I am semi ocd about mess so are meticulous about hosing off any wee and picking up poop and hosing from garden if dogs need to go.
live got better over years, but there are firm boundaries and they know this

I would judge anyone who wants to take their dogs out in this heat as an idiot, frankly.

We often get similar because we have dogs and a large garden and yet I’ve never rocked up with my own dogs to a social event at anyone else’s house before. BBQ and poorly trained dogs won’t end well will it, really.

my god, how annoying, why would anyone want a dog???

They are cute! Also, unconditional love. ( I don't have one, sadly).

Any update, OP? I hope you had a nice time anyway.

because they have no choice but to fawn and placate you

YANBU.
Honestly, just say ‘no dogs allowed, sorry’
you shouldn’t even have to explain it. It’s your house.

I wouldn’t want dogs there either. It will be chaos.

You are definately NBU. I'd never expect to take my dog for a dayyime BBQ or an evening occasion with friends. I do occasionlly ask if he can tag along when we're staying over so that I don't have to arrange for boarding but I never expect people to say yes and if they do it's a bonus. Also I can never really relax if there are kids and other dogs there for me to worry about.

The heat, free range children and dogs don't mix. Say no

Is it not cruelty almost to bring a dog to a barbecue? All the people saying it's fine do you give your dog some of the food or just have them sit there watching humans eat?! It seems horrible! Surely they're better at home having a snooze?! (and yes I have a dog that I love!!)

We always share food with the dogs.

It's not cruel not to though, if they're not missing their usual meal times.

My dog loves a BBQ. And yes, we always give him a share of the food - a bit of sausage and burger, plus some vegetables too.

I wouldn't take him to a busy one with small children in 29 degree heat though.

What sort of lunatic assumes their dogs are invited automatically???

Oops...I guess I'm also a lunatic 👀

🤣🤣🤣

I can't believe this is a thing, there is no hope for society

Update-

No one brought their dogs!! It was all fine but a couple of them admitted throughout the day that they basically only wanted to bring them because we have a big garden and they ‘thought it would be nice for them to be able to run around’ which really annoyed me tbh, we’re not a public park!

Anyway, last of the guests just gone and my 2 dogs are now out enjoying the coolness of the evening!

It really is ridiculous though that some people can’tleave their dogs alone for even a few hours at home. How do these people live life and get anything done? I don’t remember dogs all having this huge separation anxiety in the 80’s/90’s when I was growing up. Going by Mumsnet, It seems like every dog now has huge separation anxiety and cannot ever be left alone for a few hours. Nightmare, as PP have said, they’re NOT children, don’t treat them like they are.

Pandemic dogs. Used to their owners being stuck at home all day.

I can see you sensibly said no. It would have been a crazy idea. A whole bunch of unknown dogs, don't know each other, or any of the other kids. Plus barbecue, dropped food, hot day etc. Any one of them could be food possessive, not good with other dogs, kids etc.

I have a dog from a breed that is notorious for its separation issues. She is elderly (not a pampered pandemic pooch) now, but we have worked to make sure she can be left. And would never dream of asking if we could take her anywhere we only going for a few hours. And have a sitter she goes to for overnights.

What is the bell end undertone about pampered pandemic dogs here? Not form OP but from several posters. You're not saint because you didn't get a dog in 2020. But you are all dick.

I'm glad it all worked out!

In terms of separation anxiety, I think in the past people were less aware of it being a problem, plus those who worked all day out of the house were less likely to get a dog in the first place.

And yes, I know a couple of dogs who developed it during Covid - one a puppy, the other an older dog who now can't be left without great distress on her part.

because they have no choice but to fawn and placate you

Are you the dog whisperer? Amazing how in tune you are with an animal you massively dislike.

@justco if they’re left alone for 3 hours? That’s the owner, not the dog

yes I’m very aware pets are not just for Christmas. There‘s an something inbetween

It really is ridiculous though that some people can’tleave their dogs alone for even a few hours at home. How do these people live life and get anything done? I don’t remember dogs all having this huge separation anxiety in the 80’s/90’s when I was growing up. Going by Mumsnet, It seems like every dog now has huge separation anxiety and cannot ever be left alone for a few hours. Nightmare, as PP have said, they’re NOT children, don’t treat them like they are.

I'm glad it went well but there's no need for snide and snarky comments like this.

If you've never had a dog with separation anxiety then you're not in a position to make judgements about those of us who do.

@cinnamonfrenchtoast

thats fine just don’t think you can take your dog to all social events as not everyone will want them!