To be irritated at everyone wanting to bring their dogs to our BBQ?

[Yellowandgreendots]

We have about 20 people (from 5 different families) coming over for a BBQ today 3-7/8pm (or whenever they want to leave!)

We are lucky in that we do have a big garden but we all have babies/ young children and we have 2 dogs of our own (that we’ll likely keep inside as it’s going to be 29 here today so too hot for them)

We have some shade in the garden, but that will pretty much be taken up by everyone plus all of our children and babies (going to put paddling pools and play mags down for the babies)

3 of the families have now asked to bring their dogs. DH just wants to say no, I feel like an arsehole saying no but equally, I really can’t be arsed with other people’s dogs crapping and weeing all over the lawn (we don’t let our 2 toilet on the lawn, they have a patch of grass and patio down the side of the house that they use) none of these dogs are well trained and I just know they’ll end up charging about, crashing into everything and everyone and I don’t want to have to worry about the babies on the playmats etc either.

TBH I’m a bit bewildered why people want to bring them? It’s going to be nearly 30 degrees, there’s not that much shade, they’re all only going to be here for 4/5 hours and all only live 5/10 mins away if they really felt like they had to go back to let the dogs out or what ever.

DH said they only want to bring them because we have a big garden and they think their dogs will probably have a ‘whale of a time’ charging about it, but I said surely they wouldn’t let their dogs do that in this heat anyway?

AIBU that it seems to be the case more and more nowadays that people can’t go anywhere without bringing their bloody dogs.

We just spend our time with people like us!

If a dog can't be left alone for a few hours, then the owners haven't trained them properly.

They are not children, they are dogs.🙄

Yeah, I'm the same. I've had dogs and kids, but nowadays, I don't want to be around either of them if I'm eating. 🙄

What a ridiculous ambiguous text he has sent🙄🤦‍♀️

How is it ambiguous?

He's essentially said we'd rather you didn't bring your dogs as its too hot but if you do they're your responsibility

Just say no to the dogs regarding the mess and especially as there will be small babies.

As well as of course dog mess.

Its ambiguous because they'd rather not have the dogs there but said if you must, then you can, which could lead to a garden full of dogs, which is what they didn't want.

Its a "No, but yes ok" answer which is ambiguous.

A clear No would be clear.

It's ambiguous because they haven't made it crystal clear they do NOT want a garden full of dogs around young children and food.

i understand OP, I don’t understand why someone would want to take their dog out in this heat, my own dog is sat in front of the fan indoors.

In our own garden with family I've taken our dog and shut him up into a downstairs bedroom when I think he's had enough. No way would I stress him out with strange dogs.

This.

I don't have dogs and don't let people bring their dogs into my house or garden.

I'd have no qualms saying no.

They can choose to come or not, their choice. Just let me know so I can avoid over cooking.

I wouldn’t let them bring their dogs in the situation you have described OP, and I say that as a dog owner myself!

If they were so determined to bring a dog they should have asked before this morning.
If they can't come that's their choice.
I'd still say no.

Even more so when the temperature is likely too warm for a dog to be outside in it for long.

Why someone things a friends BBQ in their garden and with lots of children and babies around, plus food and plus two household dogs, is a good idea I've no idea!

No dogs end of. You can say yes to one person and no to another.

That should be can't say nono one person

OP I want to know how many people brought their dogs with them despite it being clear that you'd rather they didn't.

I also want to know what these people do when they go to work? Do they ask to bring them there too because it's unfair to leave them alone for a few hours?

I like dogs but it bugs me how people feel they should be brought everywhere with them, I've even seen them in shopping trolleys being pushed around in supermarkets 🤢

Sounds like carnage!

Babies+dogs+BBQ+heat will be far too stressful and not enjoyable for humans or dogs.

They can be left at home for 3 hours in the cool and with it being such a short distance someone could go back at like 6pm to let them out if needs be although I can't see many needing to if there are lots of young children, it will probably be almost wrapped up by then.

to be fair, most people don't shit on the stair carpet though

I hate this. Recently we went to a housewarming and one of the other guests asked if she could bring her dog. Host said no as they have two of their own and the dogs are a bit crazy together. I breathed a sigh of relief as DS is terrified of dogs. We’re working on his fear, but in controlled environments and small doses. The other guest brought her dog anyway, and the host felt she needed to allow her to bring it in because she’d driven a long way and it was too hot to leave the dog in the car. I was so taken aback by the rudeness!

Why have people become so fucking stupid about dogs in recent years??
Dogs should be trained to be able to stay at home for 3 or 4 hours surely. How do people go to work otherwise?
Dog owners shouldn't have to be told that it's fucking stupid to bring your dogs to a BBQ with 20 people, babies, food etc when it's fucking far too hot. How can they be that dim not to realize that the dogs should not be outdoors in the heat?
Why don't they realize that it's a recipe for absolute carnage, especially as there are 2 dogs there already and possibly other dogs belonging to other fucking stupid guests.

Your house, your rules. My dad and step mam had a bbq yesterday. Step mam is scared of my dog. He is good and well trained but I understand why she is scared of him. Sister and brother both brought their dogs, I left mine at home as I don't want to make her uncomfortable in her own house and it's her house so she's well within her right to say I can't bring him. It's not an issue for me at all as it's not my house

Sorry we aren't allowing dogs as one of them gets agitated when there are too many dogs tigether

Over the last few years, it's suddenly become your norm to take dogs everywhere! I have an elderly spaniel and no way would I take him to a BBQ! He would spend his time trying to snaffle food and generally be annoying! Plus it's much too hot for dogs to be out anyway.

I have a colleague who can't understand why she is not allowed to bring her dog to the office!

So do humans, but we don’t drag a random lonely bored human who’s not had a personal invite to a bbq with us.
and, if your dog is bored and lonely without you , you’ve done a piss poor job of training it to cope without you
and for that matter I imagine a wolf or any f£#&ing wild creature gets bored a lot. Lions look pretty bored to me once they’ve eaten 🤦‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤣🤣🤣

Interested to hear how many dogs came?:) You should just have said no way! And I like dogs.

It would be a firm no from me. We had a bbq a few weeks ago and a couple of people asked and I said no. We have 2 dogs of our own who we had left inside until it was cooler, I don’t want other peoples dogs here,
I live animals but sometimes I just want to spend time relaxing and not checking what other peoples dogs are up to.