To be irritated at everyone wanting to bring their dogs to our BBQ?

[Yellowandgreendots]

We have about 20 people (from 5 different families) coming over for a BBQ today 3-7/8pm (or whenever they want to leave!)

We are lucky in that we do have a big garden but we all have babies/ young children and we have 2 dogs of our own (that we’ll likely keep inside as it’s going to be 29 here today so too hot for them)

We have some shade in the garden, but that will pretty much be taken up by everyone plus all of our children and babies (going to put paddling pools and play mags down for the babies)

3 of the families have now asked to bring their dogs. DH just wants to say no, I feel like an arsehole saying no but equally, I really can’t be arsed with other people’s dogs crapping and weeing all over the lawn (we don’t let our 2 toilet on the lawn, they have a patch of grass and patio down the side of the house that they use) none of these dogs are well trained and I just know they’ll end up charging about, crashing into everything and everyone and I don’t want to have to worry about the babies on the playmats etc either.

TBH I’m a bit bewildered why people want to bring them? It’s going to be nearly 30 degrees, there’s not that much shade, they’re all only going to be here for 4/5 hours and all only live 5/10 mins away if they really felt like they had to go back to let the dogs out or what ever.

DH said they only want to bring them because we have a big garden and they think their dogs will probably have a ‘whale of a time’ charging about it, but I said surely they wouldn’t let their dogs do that in this heat anyway?

AIBU that it seems to be the case more and more nowadays that people can’t go anywhere without bringing their bloody dogs.

And this is why dogs are better than people 😀

You should not let any of the guests bring dogs to your BBQ OP for all the reasons stated above. Respect @Colourfingers2 I thought I could hold a grudge but you win! 25 years! In fact I think there once was an entertaining thread on MN regarding grudges perhaps it needs resurrecting.

A BBQ with babies, toddlers and several strange dogs sounds like a recipe for disaster - especially if it's going to be hot and there's alcohol involved.

There is no way those dogs will stay on leads - the owners will need to leave them unattended to get food, go to the toilet, get a drink, sort their child etc. for starters, and as soon as one dog is let off, they all will be - and if people are going in/out of the house for the toilet, the dogs will be inside, pestering your dogs, jumping up at counters or having accidents indoors.

If it was adults only it would be a bit different but with young children on the floor and in the paddling pools it has the potential to be incredibly dangerous. I think you need to text and say you've changed your mind, no dogs at all.

Well I pay for daycare in the week but at weekends I don't usually have that option unless planned well in advance hence why I would probably have turned down the invite.

@LuckySantangelo35 yes I would, much prefer animals to people.

Mine comes to work with me (dog walker) or goes to my in-laws during the day. When he was a puppy, he went to daycare.

Agree completely.
There are very few well behaved dogs about, and at a barbecue like this with little children, sausages and burgers on a sizzling barbecue off leash dogs could be an utter nightmare, running riot jumping up at people and stealing from surfaces.

we sometimes go to an outdoor cafe in a park and off lead untrained dogs often try to snatch food from the tables.

Why don’t people TRAIN their dogs?

Never mind the poo /wee aspect on your grass.

Say no, OP.

There’s been a shift of thinking that people can bring their dogs everywhere. I grew up with dogs, my friends families had dogs, we never took our dogs to other peoples houses.

I have 2 cats and DD does not like dogs at all. Had issues with 2 people who think they can bring their dogs into our house for the day. Nope. They’re really put out when you say no as they just seem to expect it’s okay.

If you don't want them there, just say no.

Our house is too hot to leave the dog shut in for hours on a day like this, so I'd probably ask to bring mine.
But if you said no I wouldn't mind, one of us would just stay at home with the dog.

People who like dogs more than humans 😖

I wouldn't let people in my house or garden with their dog, but then I again I hate dogs in general so it's a general rule for me at all times.

If the dog had a brain comparable to that of a human it would kill you and eat you and live in your house and drive your car, etc
The only reason your dog is nice to you is because you have total power over it, it has no choice but to fawn over you and appease you.
When you say 'better' what you really mean is it doesn't have the capacity to outsmart you.
If it could it totally would.

Given the heat, presence of children and a mix of dogs who are unknown to each other, I would probably say a firm no, leads or not. Once people start to relax and have a few drinks, it’s likely they won’t stay on leads. You don’t really know how they will react in the heat and the general excitement of kids running around etc may not be a good mix. If I had a dog, I would probably make the decision to leave it at home. In my experience, dogs do become nervous and unsettled in these situations and I wouldn’t want to run the risk, especially with kids around.

I know. It makes me eye roll so hard I worry I'll dislocate an eyeball!

I really hope we don’t get arsey responses

Tell then to stay away if they do. They should respect your wishes.
Your land your rules.

This is an easy one - just say no!

YABU for "AIBU that it seems to be the case more and more nowadays that people can’t go anywhere without bringing their bloody dogs."

But YANBU to tell people their dogs are not welcome to join.

I think it’s fine and reasonable to say no but some people may not come.

if dogs are not routinely left for more than a couple of hours then people may not be able to arrange a sitter. Equally dogs which are crated will likely not be left in crates in the heat.

Absolutely not.

Tell them you understand if they can't make it after all.

Not a chance eould I have this.

Most of my friends have dogs and never ONCE has this been asked.

We have a lovely large garden and my husband wouldn't tolerate it for a second, particularly not with small children and babies there.

Rude to ask IMO.

Result! I wish something so catastrophic would happen in our garden that we never had another one.

@justco

what are you on about??

Why would you want someone to take the risk of a child being attacked by a dog? What do you want evidence for? What are you going to do with this evidence you are after? What is wrong with your brain?

I don't like dogs and never allow them in the house or garden so I would have no problem saying no in your situation OP. If you've got your own dogs it might be harder but remember it's your house (garden), your rules.

Small children sitting on the floor with food. Dogs wandering around. No problems there then…….

@WildFlowerBees

dont go to a bbq then

stay at home with your dog