To be irritated at everyone wanting to bring their dogs to our BBQ?

[Yellowandgreendots]

We have about 20 people (from 5 different families) coming over for a BBQ today 3-7/8pm (or whenever they want to leave!)

We are lucky in that we do have a big garden but we all have babies/ young children and we have 2 dogs of our own (that we’ll likely keep inside as it’s going to be 29 here today so too hot for them)

We have some shade in the garden, but that will pretty much be taken up by everyone plus all of our children and babies (going to put paddling pools and play mags down for the babies)

3 of the families have now asked to bring their dogs. DH just wants to say no, I feel like an arsehole saying no but equally, I really can’t be arsed with other people’s dogs crapping and weeing all over the lawn (we don’t let our 2 toilet on the lawn, they have a patch of grass and patio down the side of the house that they use) none of these dogs are well trained and I just know they’ll end up charging about, crashing into everything and everyone and I don’t want to have to worry about the babies on the playmats etc either.

TBH I’m a bit bewildered why people want to bring them? It’s going to be nearly 30 degrees, there’s not that much shade, they’re all only going to be here for 4/5 hours and all only live 5/10 mins away if they really felt like they had to go back to let the dogs out or what ever.

DH said they only want to bring them because we have a big garden and they think their dogs will probably have a ‘whale of a time’ charging about it, but I said surely they wouldn’t let their dogs do that in this heat anyway?

AIBU that it seems to be the case more and more nowadays that people can’t go anywhere without bringing their bloody dogs.

If OP / her DH can't say no to bringing the dogs, then I suspect they're not the kind of people who would be confident enough to turn away guests once they've arrived.

It's going to end up with dogs off lead, chasing each other around, getting far too hot possibily stealing food and potentially with someone getting hurt.

@Ellmau

she still might have to pick up their shit then though
just say no dogs op

Say no, they'll just be a pain in the arse and ruin it for everyone. Definitely not a good idea with babies on playmats, either. I don't mind most dogs but really don't see why they have to be EVERYWHERE. I suppose the answer is because EVERYONE has a dog nowadays 🙄

Because we are all meant to love them and we are horrible if we don't (even though we're not the ones taking them out in hot weather on hot pavements).

We've now got people bringing their dogs to running club sessions. The club is decades old and managed without having dogs at training sessions until now.

Dogs in hot countries get acclimatised to the temperature - like people who live in hot countries.

I can't believe there are still people dim enough to try and use that as some kind of 'gotcha'

“Their time with their dogs”

THEY’RE NOT CHILDREN, THEY ARE DOGS

Yep, never mind the dogs potentially eating chicken bones, kebab skewers and corncobs etc left on plates…. BBQs are a really common time for dogs to ingest stupid things that end up with a visit to the vets

@Ingrowncrotchhair they get lonely. And bored. A dog isn't just for Christmas

Only allow dogs if they can be kept on a short leash in the shade, with a bowl of water for company.

Given you'll be in a private garden and not the park, there will be food, hot coals, children, babies and other dogs it's a fucking mad idea.

I'd just say no. You don't need to feel guilty that someone has a pet that they don't want to leave. I like being with my cats but I wouldn't bring them to someone's house

Dogs are not humans - stop anthropomorphising them. Anyway the OP has said most of her guests live within easy walking distance so they can pop back to their dogs to make sure they are not lonely or bored.

I’d have said no sorry it’s not suitable for dogs. We take ours to BBQs at our friends all the time but only after them telling us to do so, not the other way round. They bring theirs to ours too. We’re a group of 4 families though 3 of which have a dog and the other one loves our dog so much that she voluntarily walks him when we’re at work. There’s no babies or toddlers either and all of the children adore our dog.

A few weeks ago our friend asked if we were bringing him as he’d put their paddling pool away if so (our dog would 100% want to go in and could accidentally pop it with his claws). Of course I said no we’d leave him at home!

Unless everyone who has a dog works from home or does not take their dog to work they can survive with out it for or a BBQ?

I wouldn't need an excuse I simple 'no sorry you cant' is all that is needed

Definitely say no. My husband's uncle brought his two dogs years ago to a barbecue we had without asking. We already had a dog and two nervous cats and I was so annoyed and made it obvious. Me and husband had huge row and I don't think we ever had another barbecue!

Heard it all now. They are not people. stay in with them then and don’t have a social life but don’t force your dogs on others

Oh dear OP... the message your DH sent was far too full of get-out clauses for the dog owners... expect a garden full of dogs off leads all afternoon.

And? That isn't the OPs problem.

If a dog can't be left for a few hours then the owners should provide a solution. They shouldn't bring them to the OPs house, to an event that is completly unsuitable.

God no. I’d leave mine with upstairs windows open/fan. I don’t want multiple dogs shitting in my garden.

I think with it being a Sunday, you having a large garden and already a dog owner, people probably wrongly or rightly assumed it would be ok to bring their dog to your obviously dog-friendly house. They've suddenly now panicked and thought they should have checked and not presumed!

In future, perhaps stipulate when you invite, that you don't wish people to bring dogs so they can make alter plans and avoid this situation. I think I'd probably allow them to bring their dog this late in the day but make it very clear on the toileting rules and keep them on a lead.

Just say no

@justco

tough innit

How do all these people who can’t leave their dogs for a couple of hours go to work?!

Say no. We shut our own dog inside when we have a BBQ, she's tall, so it's dangerous for her. Not to mention that it is really rude to bring your pets to other people's houses.

Should be a flat no.

Had a BBQ recently. We said no dogs. Not even our own. Too many people, too hot for dogs when the shade would all be filled with people, kids and paddling pools. Also, too much temptation for dogs with sausages on grills. Realistically, if dogs had come they would have all had to be on leads for the duration. Not fun for them, not fun for the dogs' humans.

I don't mind people asking, but then no one is upset when I say no.

I love dogs, and there are some great times to meet somewhere doggy friendly. But a BBQ with small kids on one of the hottest days of the year is not it.