To be irritated at everyone wanting to bring their dogs to our BBQ?

[Yellowandgreendots]

We have about 20 people (from 5 different families) coming over for a BBQ today 3-7/8pm (or whenever they want to leave!)

We are lucky in that we do have a big garden but we all have babies/ young children and we have 2 dogs of our own (that we’ll likely keep inside as it’s going to be 29 here today so too hot for them)

We have some shade in the garden, but that will pretty much be taken up by everyone plus all of our children and babies (going to put paddling pools and play mags down for the babies)

3 of the families have now asked to bring their dogs. DH just wants to say no, I feel like an arsehole saying no but equally, I really can’t be arsed with other people’s dogs crapping and weeing all over the lawn (we don’t let our 2 toilet on the lawn, they have a patch of grass and patio down the side of the house that they use) none of these dogs are well trained and I just know they’ll end up charging about, crashing into everything and everyone and I don’t want to have to worry about the babies on the playmats etc either.

TBH I’m a bit bewildered why people want to bring them? It’s going to be nearly 30 degrees, there’s not that much shade, they’re all only going to be here for 4/5 hours and all only live 5/10 mins away if they really felt like they had to go back to let the dogs out or what ever.

DH said they only want to bring them because we have a big garden and they think their dogs will probably have a ‘whale of a time’ charging about it, but I said surely they wouldn’t let their dogs do that in this heat anyway?

AIBU that it seems to be the case more and more nowadays that people can’t go anywhere without bringing their bloody dogs.

No, BBQ and dogs everywhere sounds like a recipe for disaster. Someone will need to guard the food.

I don't like the new trend of people taking their dog everywhere they go.

I have a dog always have had but it's disrespectful to allow them to romp about other people's garden/house especially when there are babies and young children in paddling pools and on mats..it's a recipe for disaster and bloody dangerous. Young kids screaming winding the dogs up even more and owners chasing after them and shouting, plus food snaffling...sounds like a carry on film...just no....

Maybe your dog had kennel cough ...

Has

Generally happy for friends /family to being their dog and we don't have one

But

Today is going to be very hot and dogs shouldn't be out in the garden for that time

So the poster who said no as dogs inside as hot has it spot on

I don't like dogs and wouldn't allow them to be brought to a BBQ but saying it's too hot for them is ridiculous. How do you think street dogs in hot countries cope? If it's too hot they'll find a shaded area and lie down to rest.

I’m not a big fan of dogs. If I arrived at a BBQ with my young DC/babies and there were a bunch of dogs we didn’t expect running about the garden, we’d go straight back home.

Exactly what I was thinking. Now all the dogs are coming and they’ll be off the lead within an hour. And to the pp saying stuff the people, she’d be putting up an umbrella and pool for the dogs- they’re dogs, and not trained ones according to the op. Do you think 3 strange dogs thrown together at a hectic garden party full of babies and children during an heatwave are going to sit quietly under the umbrella together? It’ll be an absolute shit show.

Say no. Gawd, is this going to be a thing now. Wtf is wrong with people

No. For all the reasons above, but also because if it gets really hot you know where the dogs will be? Inside your house!

No, don't lie, just say the event isn't suitable for dogs.

I see what OP posted their response has been, about leads, hope everyone complies. Before my DDog was pts we always asked before bringing him, he was a big friendly dog but a bit clumsy. Sometimes told yes, others no, and always happy to go with what the inviter wanted.

I'd be pissed off if I was your neighbour OP, sounds like frigging doggy day care

Omg ... just seeing it now, in 5 years there will be threads complaining about dog-free weddings!! 🤣🤣🤣

We went to a friends BBQ and one couple came along with a couple of labs who attempted to eat everything. She was a bit ‘what naughty boys’ with a tinkly laugh ignoring how irritated the hosts were. Another friend brought some yappy expensive thing. Neither couple asked they just assumed in was okay. Honestly those three dogs were peeing everywhere and the size and smell of the poops were off putting to say the least

I like well-behaved, non-threatening dogs (and have a couple of my own), but I wouldn't appreciate people asking to bring their dogs over, nor would I ask to bring mine. It's an afternoon, not an overnight event. If they need to take the dog(s) for walks, feed them, etc., they will have to leave the BBQ a bit earlier or ask/pay a neighbour for help. That's part of owning a dog.

I hope it goes well for you, but next time, I wouldn't leave a loophole for leads, for the reasons PP have mentioned.

your dog would be cooler indoors than out at a BBQ

Did you miss the bit where the op said only some of the garden is shaded, and she will be putting mats and paddling pools in those areas for the babies? Or are you suggesting she prioritises the dogs and sit the babies in the direct sunlight? Baring in mind the 29 degrees is the air temperature taken in the shade, the temp of surface areas in direct sunlight could be literally hot enough to scald a person or dog. A lot of ‘street dogs in hot countries’ don’t cope. 29 degrees can heat tarmac or concrete hot enough to burn a dogs paws off.

I've never refused an invite because I couldn't take my dog (I've also never assumed an invite includes my dog, that seems weird!) but I would decline an invite where a load of dogs would be around my baby/toddler. That's too big a risk especially with all the other factors (heat, noise, food etc). Not worth the risk.

@Sunnysunbun

your choice 🤷‍♀️
you stay home

Yes agree, t was too wishy washy and gives them an excuse.to bring them.

On leads is probably a decent compromise. If any let them off you need to get them to leave/take dogs home

You just need to say "sorry no dogs, due to amount of people/kids that will be here". It is a recipe for disaster, having strange dogs and lots of kids around. , plus a paddling pool... my brothers dog would be in there like a shot and there wouldn't be room for the kids

If they can't come because they can't leave the dog then it is their problem.

People certainly have got more entitled over the past few years regarding dogs and expecting to be able to take them wherever they like.

If they do bring them and let them off the lead, then make sure you ask them to put them back on again.

I'd say no.

Its too hot for dogs, plus alcohol + BBQ + babies/children, is a recipe for a disaster.

I'm sure they can leave their so called "fur babies" at home for a few hours.🙄

It's bizarre that anyone needs to compromise. These dogs weren't invited. Why should there be a requirement to compromise over animals you never wanted there in the first place?