To say this is my house?

[LovelySparrow]

Have name changed as I know dp's family is on here

I have been going out with dp for nearly 5 years. We are both in our 50s and divorced with our own kids, none together.

He moved into the house I was living in at the time, since then, I sold the house and bought somewhere bigger where we all had our own space. It is solely in my name and I purchased it on my own and I pay for everything to do with its maintenance/upkeep.

Dp still owns a house with his ex where she lives. She was meant to have sold it by now but doesn't want to (kids have left home etc.). I'm not involved in that. He pays part of the mortgage on that house.

This weekend we were talking about the house and dp mentioned he had paid for something and I said I would refund him. He said why would you do that, it's our house. I said but it isn't actually, it's my house. I said you have a house. This may be your home but it's actually legally my house.

He's now really upset. Said I'm being incredibly nasty and he feels really shit. When we went to bed, I saw he had tears in his eyes. I tried to clear the air but he didn't want to hear it but I'm going to today.

I don't think I'm wrong. We have no kids together. If I die, everything goes to my kids, I've always been clear about that and although we don't have a co habitation agreement, he has (legally) acknowledged that he has no claim on me/my estate if I did die.

I don't think, just because he's moved in with me, that he has any rights to say it's his house or our house in any way. Happy for it to be our home.

Was I a bitch because he seems to be implying that I'm incredibly cruel and unfair?

Can't he legally make a claim to the property if he has lived there for 2 years?

@tara66 how?

I’m in the opposite situation. I’ve been with dp for 5 years. I moved in with him out of a rented flat. The agreement we have made is that he pays for the mortgage, all bills and the upkeep of the house. I buy the food (though we do eat very well). I’m well aware that it’s his property and I have no claim on it.
I’m very happy with the situation and consider myself quite lucky.
Even if we were to get married I’d be more than happy to sign any documents stating that I have no ownership of the house.
He had worked to pay for it before he met me so I don’t see why I would deserve it.

@Montypi you know what a vulnerable position you are in don’t you? He could throw you out at a moment’s notice. I hope you have a back up plan.

I am in the exact same situation. Except the house dp pays a mortgage on belongs to him alone.
I have no mortgage on my house which was cleared long before I met dp, I have made it plain and clear the house belongs to me alone and then our children.
Too many women on here pick their man over their children. All be it mostly non biological step Dads etc.

Put your children first, that is the right thing to do and don't feel bad. There is not enough women like us in today's world, and most certainly not enough men.
Anyone on here that tells you that you are wrong are the sort of people to put a man before their children!?

Cohabiting for any length of time allows the cohabitee to have some claim on the house. Years ago, Lord Denning, then Master of the Rolls set that out as a principle. It was immediately dubbed the "Mistresses Charter", in the language of the day. It has nothing to do with who pays bills etc. Anyone owning a house and moving someone in, to what would traditionally have been viewed as akin to a marriage, (and who isn't a lodger) is opening themselves to potential problems later. Cohabit in haste, repent at leisure.

It’s 100% your house. As long as he doesn’t pay any of the bills he has no legal rights. If you are doing things correctly your name is on everything (bills, council tax etc all come out of your account) he should have a rent book and pay you rent….. that way he is legally only a lodger.
I sought advice when I bought my house and this is what I was told to do if I ever got a bf.

Totally agree. I was married to my DD’s Dad and still had it written that if I died my share of the house went to our DD & not to him… he could do what he liked with his share but my 60% was hers. That way if he remarried then died my share was protected from being solely given to a new wife and her kids… I’ve had too many friends stitched up this way!
If later in life I take in a new partner it will be as a lodger, if we marry the house will be signed over to my daughter beforehand with agreement I can live there till I die.

@LovelySparrow please make sure DP isn’t paying any bills, and set up a payment and rent book/contract. You need legal advice on this… otherwise when you die he could actually put claim on your estate.

Per the Law Society:

If one person owns the propertyYou will not usually have any rights to the property if you don’t own the property or a share in it, unless you can prove you have:

• contributed to the deposit for the house or the mortgage payments, or
• made a financial commitment, like paying for major work on the house, with the understanding that you would own a share of the house

This means if you split up and you are not the owner you have no right to continue living in the property. And unless it’s left to you in their will, you won’t automatically inherit the property if your partner dies.

https://www.lawsociety.org.uk/public/for-public-visitors/common-legal-issues/cohabitation-your-rights#:~:text=Living%20together%20without%20being%20married,agreement%20to%20protect%20your%20interests.

YANBU at all! If his kids are grown up, his ex needs to either buy his share of their house, or he can put it up for sale. Then you can decide whether you want him to buy half of your home, sell up and buy somewhere together, or keep things as they are.

I’m not at all vulnerable. I have a secure job on a good wage. I am also in a loving and committed relationship with a man I completely trust. It’s not all about owning property.

Where will you go when he dies?

Proprietary Estoppel. My post from earlier in the thread.

Reason? I know. 😉

Would that be MN posters with different pov?

Or are supposed to share a Unimind?

Agree Egg Always think that’s such a stupid point it’s a general talk board used by thousands with different opinions 🙄

Even if you may have a right in equity it will be very expensive and stressful to prove it. It’s not like the home owner is going to say “oh yes now I’ve seen your article from the Law society here’s half my house” are they?

I hope he’s not. It doesn’t sound like he is from the op. If he is then surely he may have some rights if op were to die. She needs to keep it exactly as it is and continue to make absolutely clear that it’s her house!!