Ideation that girl babies are better than boy babies.

[Supremechicken]

In my family it’s very heavily opinionated that boy babies are an ‘aww better luck next time’ and girl babies are an amazing gift.

My sisters were saying the other day that when they see a gender reveal on Facebook they don’t tend to like or react to the boy ones but the girls they feel excited for.

I don’t really see the difference .

Is there something I’m missing?

All that stuff spoken in the 60’s and 70’s about treating babies the same so there wouldn’t be a difference in interests and behaviour turned out in the long run to be rubbish.
Sociolinguistic studies show boys and girls even use language differently. Girls invite collaborative play while boys try to take charge and order others around.
My desire was for a healthy baby but a girl was the icing on the cake.
Maybe this is all Nature’s way of redressing the global imbalance. In such places as the Indian sub continent and China there aren’t enough women to ensure a wife for every man who wants one.

My mother in law had 5 boys, no daughters. It was a source of sadness to her over the years, and she often trotted out "a son's a son till he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter for life" (or something along those lines).

Personally I love having a daughter but would have been delighted with either a boy or a girl!

Well there better be - yours! And Dad's. That's what matters.

Knowing they'll only be happy if it's a girl, I wouldn't bother telling them

I feel gender disappointment is very taboo. If you voice it, even on so called safe spaces, you are subject to some really awful criticism.

I am due DC2 soon. I haven’t found out the sex because I didn’t want to feel disappointment, even fleetingly. I think that’s what is missed: I don’t WANT to feel this way. I want to be as excited about a little boy as a girl. I already feel so bad about it. I know I’ll love and cherish any child so much but I also think I will feel a bit flat if it is a boy.

Why? I don’t know: I really wish I did. I know it’s not princesses and pink. It is something deeper, perhaps. Either way I don’t like it but I can’t actually help it.

Sorry to step in as a healthcare professional…your sisters have girls as there was a 50/50 chance. Lime tampons?! Behave.

These people don’t know what they’re missing I feel sorry for them. I’ve got 2 boys (4 and 1) and me and DH took them to a fair today and we had the best day. I’ve just put the big one to bed and he said mum mum my heart is going boom boom, oh is it babe are u ok? Yeah it’s because I love you 😍 let them have their stupid ideas. I love my boys.

It must depend on the family.

Both my parents expressed disappointment on finding out I'm having a second girl.

(DPs family are delighted and wouldn't have said otherwise even if they weren't)

It's just bloody rude.

I'm glad you've decided to not have children. It always worries me when people talk like you about boys but then have kids anyway and you have to think, will having a son change their minds or will their lad grow up permanently damaged because his mother thinks he's a rapist in waiting.

Well your family are stupid because my two little boys are the most delightful children in the world .

I honestly don’t understand gender disappointment. Your baby will be perfect because they are yours. Boy or girl, it just doesn’t matter.

@Longdarkcloud " Girls invite collaborative play while boys try to take charge and order others around."

Isn't this just really sexist though?

My son is the most gentle child. He's had friends not be kind to him (physical) but never dreamed of retaliating, he always just stood there! He's 4.5 now and very kind and caring, loves making friends. He's had 2 female friends where I had to end the friendship because they were too rough. One kicked him in the back to get him to move out of the way at the park!

I've worked in primary schools for years and have not seen what you describe either. And that includes 2 years as a supply teacher so a real wide range of kids.

I just don't get how sex has got anything to do with how they play or whatever. Surely it's the way the child is raised.

My husband had two boys before we married and also six brothers, who at the time only had male children. Our first was a boy. And he was thrilled our second was a girl.
But generally it's boys over girls isn't it? But I thought these days there's really only a preference if there's a few of the other sex already, and a healthy baby outweighs that desire by a mile.

I think there is some kind of built in preference for your own gender. I had it, I really wanted a daughter. I didn’t ever voice it though. I expect that had I given birth to a boy I would have loved him just the same and I would be here telling you it really doesn’t matter but I ended up with 3 girls so I can’t really comment. DH is the best dad and loved our girls so much but admits he really really wanted a boy.

Enough time in here will prove ops family aren't alone. Lots of people hate the idea of having a son, ironically with a man, because men are so shit and will just grow up to fuck women over. Lots of smug women about how lucky they are to have girls. Lots of comments about how MD relationships are for life but as soon as a son meets a partner, he hardly wants to know his parents and you'll never see the grandkids ets.

I just don't get how sex has got anything to do with how they play or whatever. Surely it's the way the child is raised

I can’t comment on whether it is to do with sex or not but my son can be very physical and pushes, hits etc (obviously I don’t let him) but I certainly have not raised him to be aggressive.

I am from a very female heavy family. I have two sisters and out of my 17 cousins there are only 2 boys and the majority of my cousins have had daughters too. Whenever anyone in my family gets pregnant we all just assume and envision it's a girl so it could seem like it's a preference I guess. I had a girl first and then a boy and I can't say that once the kids were actually there there was any difference when it came to their treatment within the family, but the preganancy with my boy felt less exciting for all of us I think, but that could be down it being a second pregnancy too.

Then you look them in the eye and say "if you'll love it less for being a boy, I don't want balloons or visits at all"

The thing is a lot of people would prefer your situation over having 2 boys or 2 girls, depending on their culture or preference. I've seen a lot more of that too. Having one of each or two of each is seen as perfect.

For the cultures where boys are preferred, having only boys is definitely better than having only girls. Many would keep getting pregnant, trying to have a boy and I find it sad for their girl children who learn that they're not enough.

The opposite happens, of course, in other cases and cultures for the same/opposite reason.

Frikkin hell, they didn't tell me that's what caused it. I thought it was just an over excited egg and the taxi driver thought it was my husbands strong sperm 😂😂 like splitting an atom 😂😂

I’m really glad that you chose not to have children and hope my sons never have the displeasure of knowing you.

It is so sad when people wilfully pretend that 50% of the population are awful sex pests just because they have been unlucky enough to encounter some awful men… I have known some bitchy, cruel and even abusive women. I manage to live my life without insisting all women are horrible though.

Oh and my oldest DS has spent the afternoon carefully feeding his toy animals and tucking them up in bed… well, when he wasn’t busy kissing his baby brother’s head.

I, on the other hand, had an obsession with sneaking slugs and snails into the house at his age. Me and my sister were obsessed with racing our toy cars and recreating scenes from gladiators too. I’m sure you’d have been horrified to have me as a daughter.

I found this. Not just with mine and DH’s families but with friends, acquaintances, colleagues. With ds1 I often got lukewarm responses to him being a boy. With Ds2 I got quite open, undisguised disappointment which still annoys me on his behalf. I was thrilled to be having another boy. One colleague told me she would be devastated to have a boy as there would be no point buying them clothes as only girl clothes were nice!

Then I had DD and everyone was overjoyed for me which irritated me even more. I’ve been unbelievably lucky to have 3 healthy babies I didn’t care if they were boys or girls.

This isn't new , my DC are 23 and 21 .
When I had DD (my DC2) there was a heavy laden air that girls were "better" from conversations I heard .

Completely the opposite in the farming world. Apparently you still need a willy to drive a tractor 🙄. Girls are still very much the booby prize and the heir and the spare ideal is still alive and kicking.

I would have liked a girl (only because we had a name) but when I found out I was having a son it was very much aww that's great. I did have family members/friends/strangers who were like aww a girl would have been nice 🙁. I actually corrected a member of my family the other day when discussing if we had another how nice it would be if it was a girl.. I was very much like I don't care.. a baby is a baby, I just would wish for it to be healthy. If I am destined to be a boy mum then a boy mum I will be.

Very normal in the civilised world. And wise. Do you really not understand why females are more preferable.

Well considering that femicide of baby girls and foetuses is a centuries old issue. That girls were often considered a failure (and still are in some places) I don't think it's a systemic issue.

Shitty of your family though.