Ideation that girl babies are better than boy babies.

[Supremechicken]

In my family it’s very heavily opinionated that boy babies are an ‘aww better luck next time’ and girl babies are an amazing gift.

My sisters were saying the other day that when they see a gender reveal on Facebook they don’t tend to like or react to the boy ones but the girls they feel excited for.

I don’t really see the difference .

Is there something I’m missing?

It does to a lot of people for many different reasons, it isn't as plain and simple and you think

It's selfish people like you that are the issue, you do t own your son and you need to let him lemiev his life, it's not about you!

@Shinier You wrote
'hello @SleepingStandingUp! You’ve not quite grasped this. Summers was defending the idea that women don’t want baby boys because they’re in competition with their MiL. I said this was misogynistic. They responded with this article to back it up. It doesn’t. H2h'

I wrote a brief post referencing Swansea Uni research about women and aggression. I never said anything about MILS or baby boys. I am afraid you made it up. Thank you @SleepingStandingUp for sticking up for me.
You are adopting an aggressive tone, supposedly interpreting my post. Please allow me to speak for myself. If you are objecting to the research findings I suggest you take it up with Swansea University.

@LolaSmilesthat’s an incredibly misogynistic stance to take. Women don’t hate other women. That’s a narrative men used for years to try and diminish women as just fighting for their attention. Try harder.
It's not misogynistic at all. It's the reality.

The pick me, make sure you get the man is embedded into the socialisation of girls from a young age. It's everywhere and it certainly suits the patriarchy.

Look at how many threads are on here with relationship issues where one or both of the MIL/DIL is demanding the man picks their side over the other. Look how often it suits the man in the middle for his wife and mother to be arguing and competing with each other. Look how often the MIL/DIL being competitive with each other allows the man in the middle to display crappy behaviour.

Look how many times people have gender disappointment about having a boy because "a girl is a yours for life and a boy is only yours until he gets a wife'". It's not hard to see how women with that outlook are likely to be the MIL in the situation above.

It's a similar behaviour to "but I'm not like the other girls" internalised misogyny. Who benefits from this? Men.

Another recent thread was on women calling themselves "work wives" and posters identified that it's not something men do (eg men don't go around calling themselves work husbands and falling about proving they're just so much better with female colleagues). Who benefits here? Men who are looking for a shag or someone to dump their work on.

It's not hating other women to identify a pattern of behaviour that absolutely shafts women who choose to step outside of it.

MIL/DIL do not have to be in competition with each other. Unfortunately some choose to perpetuate this damaging dynamic.

@LolaSmiles yes you’re right, it so sad other women choose to perpetuate this.

99% of sexual assaults, rapes, murders, domestic abuse are carried out by men. For these reasons - and many many more I’ve explained - I have stated I’d prefer to bring up a girl/ woman. Sadly, many women on here (@SleepingStandingUp @Surprisedbysummer) have decided that means I am a ‘pick me’ woman desperate to fight my (imaginary) MIL in order to win the fight for my (imaginary) husband. It’s like they have to defend the patriarchy at all costs.

@Shinier you would prefer to bring up a girl /woman because men are just so violent and awful, but how are you going to conceive this baby girl? You would have to use sperm from a man - you know that sex that you distrust and despise so much that you don’t want to give birth to.

If your main concern really is the problems of a patriarchal society (i agree with you there) It seems a bit backwards logic to only wish for female offspring.

Surely it would be better to have male offspring who a) have more chance of actually making a difference for the better in society due to their sex (unfortunate but true) and b) will have an easier time of it generally.

Women who have baby boys don't look at their new baby and worry about the impact he will have on others way down the line, they just want their baby to have the best life possible. The fact he is a boy is a massive advantage in our society (still).

I have both and I must admit I've worried about my girl more than my boy. I always assumed he would be as lovely and sweet and caring as his sister (he is) but I also felt a sense that he had a bit of an advantage over her too, just because he is a boy.

Again this seems so backwards. If you are preoccupied with the threat of male to female violence, wouldn't you have preferred to have a boy??

"ideation"?

What's wrong with idea?

What a miserable way to see 50% of the population. Maybe your statistics are right but it's also true that 99% of men DON'T commit violent and sexual crimes! So why hate 99% of men when most are fine?
I have a son and I'm raising him to be a decent man (although you can never be sure how your sons and daughters will turn out but you can do your best).
So if you're so certain you couldn't bear to raise a son, how have you death with this? By not having children at all? By getting pregnant but praying it's a girl? What if you found out you were having a boy - would you have had a late abortion? Put him up for adoption? Assuming you're heterosexual will you remain single for the rest of your life because a minority of men do bad things?

@Shinier do you have dc or plan to have them? If you do what would you have done if you were pg with a boy, if the latter same question but what will you do?

Also this, what’s the plan for conceiving

@MissyB1 i have a girl. I don’t despise men at all. I love lots of men. You’re misunderstanding the picture here

I just want a neurotypical baby after an asd DS and DD. I'd put up even chili tampons if I could just try for another without worrying... From my point of view neurotypical baby boys and girls are equally freaking lovely 😍

If I had a boy I assume I would have loved him and brought him up well. My preference was a girl. Doesn’t mean I hate all men.

I do think a lot of people on here need to stop fighting men’s (perceived) battles for them. They don’t have many and they don’t need you doing it for them.

I think maybe you are looking at it from the perspective of a mother with a girl. Obviously she is the best girl in the world and no one could be better than her (I have one of those 🥰)

you maybe can't imagine loving another child, let alone a child of a different sex as much.

I felt like that after I had my DD. Lo and behold I had my son and I love him just as much and he is the best boy in the world and I can't imagine another child being as perfect as him.

I still think they are the best children in the world and they are adults with their own families now 😂

If I had a boy I assume I would have loved him and brought him up well

That’s not different to people who do have boys.

I'm not fighting any battles for men, just giving my honest opinion if that's OK.

That’s not different to people who do have boys

well then perhaps every can stop with the rabid abuse

Which abuse?

Posters who have boys just love their dc, as those with girls do

They’re not ‘defending the menz’ as someone claimed below

@SunnyEgg you can see a couple of posts got deleted for personal attacks

I'd love the quote where I've said you're fighting your MIL for your man. For a start, you've already stated you aren't in a heterosexual relationship so goodness knows where you'd have got a man from to fight over 😂

Exactly.

@Shinier should be the change she wants to see in the world. Raising a ton of sensitive men raised with respect for both sexes, a solid understanding of the issues women face, battling for. Change alongside their sisters from another mister. Much more effective way to deliver change.

@Shinier should be the change she wants to see in the world. Raising a ton of sensitive men raised with respect for both sexes

I’m sorry I can’t birth and bring up a ton of men, one child is tiring enough as a single parent