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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he should take his own child to school?

489 replies

ApplesandOrangesandPears · 23/06/2023 08:40

I have a neighbour who's child is my daughters class, every day this past week this child has showed up at my door unaccompanied to go to school with us - this would be fine but my child has ADHD and mornings are chaotic and difficult. I don't have this child's parents phone numbers, and don't know exactly where they live! However I just saw the parent in their car driving away as I was trying to bundle all 3 children across the car park.....this child is very young and so I don't feel comfortable sending them home alone and clearly the parent isn't waiting for them to get home before leaving themselves! I don't have any contact with these parents so if something were to happen I wouldn't be able to let them know, we are also going away soon and won't be able to take him to school! AIBU to think this is really cheeky of the parents and that you shouldn't just assume another parent will take yours to school with no prior conversation at all!

OP posts:
AhNowTed · 23/06/2023 08:43

My god that's unbelievable!

You're being very polite calling it "cheeky".

The absolute brass neck.

Leave earlier.

LisaD1 · 23/06/2023 08:43

I’d ask the child to show you where they
live and then I’d tell the parent exactly what I think. If that didn’t work I’d inform school and social services that this young child is on the street unattended. This is not your responsibility.

Nothingbuttheglory · 23/06/2023 08:45

Hang on. Some random kid keeps turning up at your house and you don't know who the parents are or where they live, and the kid is too young to be sent back home? Call social care; it's neglect.

DustyLee123 · 23/06/2023 08:45

I’d be telling school. This is a safeguarding concern.

User1438423 · 23/06/2023 08:45

Contact the school, this is a massive safeguarding issue.

ArcticSkewer · 23/06/2023 08:45

How old is this child?

If primary then it's a safeguarding issue so tell the school and they can take it from there.

The child is actually being left to walk themselves to school. That might or might not be okay. It's not your responsibility.

NuffSaidSam · 23/06/2023 08:47

Walk the child to school. Then go straight to the office and report this. It's completely unacceptable!

AhNowTed · 23/06/2023 08:48

LisaD1 · 23/06/2023 08:43

I’d ask the child to show you where they
live and then I’d tell the parent exactly what I think. If that didn’t work I’d inform school and social services that this young child is on the street unattended. This is not your responsibility.

Yes, drive them back home, where the parent has no doubt parked up, while a stranger takes their kid to school.

Fucking neck of some people.

Gilmorehill · 23/06/2023 08:48

You absolutely have to tell the school. If the child showed up at your door again, you should be straight on the phone to social services. Poor child.

memyselfi · 23/06/2023 08:48

Omg some people are on another planet !

Whinge · 23/06/2023 08:49

This has been going on for at least a week and you haven't informed the school? It's a huge safeguarding concern, and i'm really surprised you've not reported it.

Original poster
ApplesandOrangesandPears · 23/06/2023 08:49

The child is 7, the same as mine, I know I'm probably a lot more protective due to mine being so impulsive and distracted so a complete danger if left alone but still too young in my opinion.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 23/06/2023 08:51

You can (and should) get hold of the parents - whether that’s getting the child to show you where they live and going over later in the evening, waiting at pick-up time to speak to them when they collect their child from school, or flagging down the car they drove off in. And telling them you can’t take child to school.

Then report it to school as a safeguarding concern.

Danikm151 · 23/06/2023 08:51

Obviously this is bad of the parent!
but I would find out where they live and tell them your local childminder charges x amount for school drop off so when can you expect payment. Shame them!

viques · 23/06/2023 08:51

Tell the school what is happening. Ask to speak to the Safeguarding lead. At least they can contact the parent and tell them you are not doing the school run for them again, and at best this could be a flag for greater concerns that they can act on.

if the child is still dumped on your doorstep then you deliver the poor thing to the Safeguarding lead and write an email ( paper proof) asking that they contact Social Services.

Original poster
ApplesandOrangesandPears · 23/06/2023 08:52

I assumed (obviously wrongly) that the parent was at least making sure that I'd let the child in or waitng for them of they came back but today after I saw them drive off I realised this isn't happening, which obviously just makes the whole thing worse

OP posts:
watcherintherye · 23/06/2023 08:53

Are you sure the neighbour hasn’t ‘cleared’ this arrangement with your partner, who has said “oh, yes, Apples won’t mind”, but has omitted to tell you?

Gilmorehill · 23/06/2023 08:53

ApplesandOrangesandPears · 23/06/2023 08:49

The child is 7, the same as mine, I know I'm probably a lot more protective due to mine being so impulsive and distracted so a complete danger if left alone but still too young in my opinion.

You are right. Don’t doubt yourself. I work with this age group so I know what’s normal. This is negligent and makes me wonder what else is happening in the home.

NoSquirrels · 23/06/2023 08:54

You can also tell the child themselves that you need to speak to their parent and give them a note with your phone number.

Original poster
ApplesandOrangesandPears · 23/06/2023 08:54

My partner doesn't know who this child is at all so wouldn't have spoken to their parents

OP posts:
Tdcp · 23/06/2023 08:54

People never cease to amaze me! Bloody hell OP! I think you should tell the school what's going on, they might have form for this or they might be on their radar for another reason.

Shinyandnew1 · 23/06/2023 08:55

Phone the school today and explain the situation. I’m sure they will want to help! Tell them you don’t know where the parents live and you’ve got enough on your plate.

Who picks the child up/how do they get home? How did they get to school in previous years?

LolaSmiles · 23/06/2023 08:56

Please talk to the school safeguarding lead. This is a red flag and the poor child must be confused with what's going on.

StopStartStop · 23/06/2023 08:56

Inform the school. It's a safeguarding issue.

underneaththeash · 23/06/2023 08:56

If they're a neighbour why would they drive to your house?

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