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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he should take his own child to school?

489 replies

ApplesandOrangesandPears · 23/06/2023 08:40

I have a neighbour who's child is my daughters class, every day this past week this child has showed up at my door unaccompanied to go to school with us - this would be fine but my child has ADHD and mornings are chaotic and difficult. I don't have this child's parents phone numbers, and don't know exactly where they live! However I just saw the parent in their car driving away as I was trying to bundle all 3 children across the car park.....this child is very young and so I don't feel comfortable sending them home alone and clearly the parent isn't waiting for them to get home before leaving themselves! I don't have any contact with these parents so if something were to happen I wouldn't be able to let them know, we are also going away soon and won't be able to take him to school! AIBU to think this is really cheeky of the parents and that you shouldn't just assume another parent will take yours to school with no prior conversation at all!

OP posts:
Strawberrydelight78 · 23/06/2023 10:43

That's cheeky I assumed the child was a friend of your child. I used to call for a friend and a few of us would walk together. But the audacity to expect you to do drop offs because your going there anyway. What's the going rate for childminder drop offs?

KR2023 · 23/06/2023 10:43

What kind of idiot person only reads the OP's first post and then bangs on to others demanding "proof" that OP walks😂

Lochjeda · 23/06/2023 10:49

Maybe the parents actually just send the kid to walk to school, and don't even realise the child themselves are coming to yours to walk and have latched on to you. I stay one street away from school and there is kids that age walk alone, tho I personally wouldn't do it so young. Id of asked the child some more questions like did your mum or dad send you across here or just to school and then asked where they live and spoke to the parent before involving the school.

SunIsShininInTheSky · 23/06/2023 10:52

You absolutely need to tell school! They are dumping their child at your door without even speaking to you 😬? I mean you might not be taking your own children to school that day, how do they know you have even dropped their child off or noticed they were there waiting? This is way beyond CF and neglect territory. Poor child. I do hope this isn't an indication of how well they are cared for generally.

KR2023 · 23/06/2023 10:52

@SunIsShininInTheSky fgs - keep up

MeridianB · 23/06/2023 11:07

Poor child! Does s/he seem ok in other ways? Clean and fed?

I hope the school acts quickly with the feckless parents.

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 23/06/2023 11:08

MeridianB · 23/06/2023 11:07

Poor child! Does s/he seem ok in other ways? Clean and fed?

I hope the school acts quickly with the feckless parents.

The school knows. The child has permission to go to school alone.

MammaTo · 23/06/2023 11:08

So a random kid turns up on your door, no prior conversation had and you just went along with it?
Id of sent him/her back to her parents house.

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 23/06/2023 11:08

KR2023 · 23/06/2023 10:52

@SunIsShininInTheSky fgs - keep up

Do you think it's the heat? 🤣 I'm not sure this isn't turning into one of my favourite threads ever.

SunnyFrost · 23/06/2023 11:12

I find it bizarre that the first time this child turned up, without any arrangement, you don’t even know their parents, you just swept them up and took them to school in your care! If a child I wasn’t expecting turned up at my door expecting to come to school with us I would ask where they live and walk them back, if no parents were home I’d call the school and then potentially social services/police!

QueenoftheNimbleFlyingCat · 23/06/2023 11:15

MooMooSharoo · 23/06/2023 10:16

There is a massive safeguarding issue!

Freddy's parents aren't making sure that he gets to OP's door safely, nor that she actually answers it.

What if OP is away, like she says she will be soon? Poor little Freddy is knocking on a house and there's no answer and in the meantime his parents have driven off and left him.

Freddy's parents not only haven't asked OP, but they don't know anything about them. For all they know, OP and her husband could be part of a massive crime syndicate and dealing drugs. Obviously they're not and I'm being overdramatic, but are you saying you'd happily let your child go round to the house of someone you don't know, who has no means of contacting you?

What happens if Freddy trips on a kerb on his way to school and breaks his leg? OP is now suddenly responsible for a child that she has no connection with and has not agreed to look after.

Show quote history

The school has confirmed that children can walk to school on their own so presumably the child would just walk to school if the OP didn't answer the door.

For the record I would never do this but school has said it's allowed and the child probably thinks they are just calling on a friend to walk to school and it's not a huge issue?

TonTonMacoute · 23/06/2023 11:19

DustyLee123 · 23/06/2023 08:45

I’d be telling school. This is a safeguarding concern.

This

MrsO3 · 23/06/2023 11:23

Avondale89 · 23/06/2023 09:11

Surely this can’t be genuine? I cannot fathom seemingly accepting this for 5 days and then having to ask what to do on the internet BEFORE alerting the school.

This.

whynotwhatknot · 23/06/2023 11:25

do schools let 7 year olds walk alone these days

my niece cant walk home till shes 10

MoirasSaggyBundles · 23/06/2023 11:25

It's not as simple as saying the child has permission to walk on his/her own. Because they are not. They are calling for the OP and walking with her. OP needs to avoid getting into a situation where the parents, the school and the child is assuming the OP is taking a de facto role in the child's welfare during the school journey, and a duty of care arising because of a pattern of behaviour on the part of the OP over a sustained period. She's already talking as if she has a role in this child's welfare, and that's where a duty of care can arise from. She has 2 children to get to. school, one with special needs, and finds that hard enough, but has taken on this child's journey to school too, even when she doesn't have the capacity. The school, the parents and the child need to know this before they start to assume the opposite. She needs to disclaim responsibility now to all concerned.

ScribblingPixie · 23/06/2023 11:32

Looking at his through my 1970s-childhood eyes, it just seems like a neighbour's kid who is new at school is calling for your daughter on her walk to school because they're in the same class and she wants to be friends. This would have been totally normal in my village, but maybe there's a reason why the walk to school isn't safe? Maybe just chat to the parents if it doesn't work for you.

Zombiemama84 · 23/06/2023 11:37

I work in a school and we would absolutely not be letting a 7year old leave school on their own. They have to be at least year 5.

Casperroonie · 23/06/2023 11:38

Sorry but if this is true you sound a bit gullible. The parents could easily make an accusation about you, especially if you're taking their child without explicit permission.

If I were you , I'd use your common sense, take child to his home and tell police/nspcc because this is complete neglect.

DPotter · 23/06/2023 11:41

Are we slowly heading for 'cancel the cheque' territory ?

ChocChipHandbag · 23/06/2023 11:45

Zombiemama84 · 23/06/2023 11:37

I work in a school and we would absolutely not be letting a 7year old leave school on their own. They have to be at least year 5.

The school day the child is collected after being signed out by a teacher. The school have no problem with the child walking TO school alone.

Original poster
ApplesandOrangesandPears · 23/06/2023 11:46

With the rules regarding children walking to and from school, from what I can gather it's similar to a rule my youngests nursery had: a teenager was able to drop her younger sister off to nursery but they would not release her to the teenager at the end of the day because once the child is in their care they are responsible for making those choices. So I think the rule is that parents are able to decide when they think their child can walk to school but would still need to be picked up at home time. It's not a decision I'd make but thankfully there's only 1 busy road to cross and two carparks as long as he takes the short cut through a wooded area, and so it could be a lot more dangerous for the child than it is.

OP posts:
ChocChipHandbag · 23/06/2023 11:46

DPotter · 23/06/2023 11:41

Are we slowly heading for 'cancel the cheque' territory ?

Absolutely. I thought that “See All” was introduced precisely to avoid “Cancel the cheque” scenarios repeating themselves, but it seems a lot of people missed that memo.

classylassie · 23/06/2023 11:51

ApplesandOrangesandPears · 23/06/2023 09:50

I feel like dropping off a child at a police station when they're supposed to be in school would be traumatic for the child - they are expected in school and are obviously safe while there. The school are aware of the mornings now (although children can walk to and from school alone apparently and there's no law about the age). But frankly, yes if a 7 year old is going to be walking alone then I would rather that they knocked on my door. I do know that there class teacher makes sure a parent is there before releasing them at the end of the day (as they do at after school clubs as well) so the child obviously does get picked up by someone.

No that would definitely terrify the child but maybe use the police of SS as a threat. Tell the school that is what you will have to do if this continues so they can pass on the message to the parents. The parents need to know the seriousness of the situation. Any number of things can go wrong while their child is with you and you have zero way of contacting them. They are disgraceful.

ChocChipHandbag · 23/06/2023 11:51

It's not a decision I'd make but thankfully there's only 1 busy road to cross and two carparks as long as he takes the short cut through a wooded area, and so it could be a lot more dangerous for the child than it is.

Oh stoppit OP, I’m on your side but you’re in parody territory now. “The shortcut through the wooded area”?! Everyone knows that is where wolves and witches hide.

Sweetsweetlike1 · 23/06/2023 11:51

What a blaaady cheeky!!!!

This is definitely a safeguarding concern which you should let the school about. If you don't have the parents contact details, get school to let the parent know that you are not ok (with) and are rejecting this unreasonable expectation that has literally been taken placed at your door.
If anything went wrong whilst the child was in your care on the school journey, it would be put on you. Every-time you continue allowing the child to travel with you, it's kind of like your accepting responsibility.

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