To think he should take his own child to school?

[ApplesandOrangesandPears]

I have a neighbour who's child is my daughters class, every day this past week this child has showed up at my door unaccompanied to go to school with us - this would be fine but my child has ADHD and mornings are chaotic and difficult. I don't have this child's parents phone numbers, and don't know exactly where they live! However I just saw the parent in their car driving away as I was trying to bundle all 3 children across the car park.....this child is very young and so I don't feel comfortable sending them home alone and clearly the parent isn't waiting for them to get home before leaving themselves! I don't have any contact with these parents so if something were to happen I wouldn't be able to let them know, we are also going away soon and won't be able to take him to school! AIBU to think this is really cheeky of the parents and that you shouldn't just assume another parent will take yours to school with no prior conversation at all!

I would absolutely tell school. With no prior agreement between parents this is a huge safeguarding red flag. Please do ensure this child makes it to school safely though, if they turn up - it's not your responsibility but it doesn't sound like anyone else is making sure they're safe!

You need to cover your own back, OP. By assuming responsibility for this child's journey to school, with no discussion with or even basic knowledge of the nature of the parents, you are leaving yourself wide open if something were to happen to her. At the very least, you need both the school and the parents to know that, even if the child is calling for you in the morning and may be walking with you, you are not assuming any de facto parenting over her welfare. Sorry if that's harsh, but we don't live in a world anymore where a good deed comes without a shit load of strings attached.

Ok but where?

So it sounds as though the parent has decided the child is old enough to walk to school alone, but the child doesn't feel confident to do so (not surprising at 7, especially if it's a distance). So they are gravitating towards you. Very poor parenting - independence needs to be gradually granted as they get older. This child isn't ready.

I hope the school gets something sorted. If not, I would ask the child where they live and go and have a word.

Freddy's parents aren't making sure that he gets to OP's door safely, nor that she actually answers it

Not an issue. Freddy has permission from both his parents and school to get to the latter on his own.

are you saying you'd happily let your child go round to the house of someone you don't know, who has no means of contacting you?

No.

What happens if Freddy trips on a kerb on his way to school and breaks his leg? OP is now suddenly responsible for a child that she has no connection with and has not agreed to look after.

She would have no responsibility.

.

Why haven't you gone to his house or spoken to the school?

Just read the thread. I can't be arsed to spoon feed info to you specifically when it's here for you to read.

How does the child get home? Presumably someone collects them from the classroom as most schools don’t let pupils walk home alone at this age?

I would speak to the parent today after school today, otherwise presumably the boy will be turning up at yours again on Monday morning.

She'd hardly leave him in the road...

WOW! That's quite the leap from what the OP put in her opening post.

1. The child is a neighbour's child.
2. The OP does know the neighbour (probably only by sight but does know the neighbour)
3. They OP would be able to know where the child/neighbour lives (they are a neighbour).

OP - When you drop the kids off at school, mention it to the teacher/head teacher what is happening and that you're not going to be taking their child to school going forwards. Then when you get back home, drop a note or call to the CF Neighbour's house and say that you will not be taking their child to school (no, not even because it would be making their lives easier or cutting down on the number of people going to the school from your street/road/estate). Don't be swayed. You have your needs and your child's needs to look after and they were being very rude to assume and impose on your good will but it ends now. You understand it's going to be awkward for them to manage but you're sure that they will find a way to get their child to school without being so presumptious going forwards.
Best of luck with it all.

You’re welcome @ButterCrackers .

I would do this.

One would hope not. Just pointing out that from a legal/safeguarding point of view, the OP wouldn't be held responsible.

She did it about 2 hours ago and they confirmed the child has permission to go to school on his own. Thus, it's not a safeguarding issue.

Before we have a hundred more posts telling the OP to tell the school, she already has…

Could well be a misunderstanding here.

Nothing wrong with a seven year old walking to school alone. Frankly I would have been mortified if my mum had tried to walk me to school at that age. I don't understand the drama about that.

It's quite possible the child's parents simply said to them, "why don't you call for DD and see if they want to walk to school with you?" trying to encourage a bit of neighbourliness or friendship.

As that's clearly not convenient for you, I would have thought a simple note in an envelope handed to the child would have done the trick. "Dear parents, we think your DC is lovely and would love to help with taking them to school, but unfortunately with our DCs special needs, mornings can be a bit hectic, so I can't really have an extra child to be responsible for at that time. I hope you understand. Perhaps we can arrange play dates or something for another time? My number is xxxxx". It's a shame that you felt the need to raise this with the school instead and possibly alienating your new neighbours.

Call the school and social services and then leave earlier.

This is utterly bizarre - I would never dream of just scooping up a random child and putting them in my car! You’ve left yourself open to a potentially very concerning situation. What if you had a car accident, etc with a strangers child in your car? Are you sure the parents were expecting you to put them in your car, not for the child to walk to school, etc?

OK sorry. Just jumped in.🫢

Ah the op had made additional posts? I was replying to the first post of that this thread is based on. The OP should have clearly stated that she walks. Thank you for your clarification.
This is a safeguarding issue due to lack of communication from the kids parent. I’d tell the child that we were walking later and that they should continue on their way to school as their parents have agreed for them to do. It sounds difficult with the op’s other child to have this kid tag along.

She’s very sure they are not expecting her to put her child in her car because:

(a) she has no car
(b) she can’t drive
(c) school is within walking distance.

HTH.

In one of her other numerous posts, the OP has clarified she has spoken to the school, the school have confirmed that children are allowed to go to school on their own.

Like banging your head against a brick wall isn't it?!

@ButterCrackers Mumsnet 101, use the “See All” button before replying (and certainly before going off on one accusing less lazy people of making things up).

I will give you the benefit of the doubt in case you are very new - bottom right of the OP on the mobile site.

If using the app, filter to OP’s posts.