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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he should take his own child to school?

489 replies

ApplesandOrangesandPears · 23/06/2023 08:40

I have a neighbour who's child is my daughters class, every day this past week this child has showed up at my door unaccompanied to go to school with us - this would be fine but my child has ADHD and mornings are chaotic and difficult. I don't have this child's parents phone numbers, and don't know exactly where they live! However I just saw the parent in their car driving away as I was trying to bundle all 3 children across the car park.....this child is very young and so I don't feel comfortable sending them home alone and clearly the parent isn't waiting for them to get home before leaving themselves! I don't have any contact with these parents so if something were to happen I wouldn't be able to let them know, we are also going away soon and won't be able to take him to school! AIBU to think this is really cheeky of the parents and that you shouldn't just assume another parent will take yours to school with no prior conversation at all!

OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 23/06/2023 08:56

Tell school!

What does the child say when they turn up at yours?

Whinge · 23/06/2023 08:56

A child has been left on your doorstep for at least 5 days, you haven't agreed to this, don't where they live and have no way of getting in touch with the parents. I hoenstly can't understand why you haven't already reported this to the school. Confused

romdowa · 23/06/2023 08:56

Surely you call the police and report the fact that these strangers have abandoned their child on your door step?

FOJN · 23/06/2023 08:58

Whinge · 23/06/2023 08:56

A child has been left on your doorstep for at least 5 days, you haven't agreed to this, don't where they live and have no way of getting in touch with the parents. I hoenstly can't understand why you haven't already reported this to the school. Confused

I was just about to type the same thing.

OP why aren't you really concerned about this? It's not cheeky it's alarming. Help this poor child and take action today.

NeedToChangeName · 23/06/2023 08:59

No point in contacting the parent. If they think it's OK to leave their child unattended, they won't stop on your say so

Tell school. And they will probably alert social work

RudsyFarmer · 23/06/2023 09:00

Bloody hell. You go to the school and tell them. It’s a safeguarding issue.

WhatADrabCarpet · 23/06/2023 09:01

Tell the school and tell them that you'll be informing the police too.

snitzelvoncrumb · 23/06/2023 09:01

I would go into the office at school and ask them to contact the parent to let them know if the child turns up again you will drop the child off at a police station not school.

Original poster
ApplesandOrangesandPears · 23/06/2023 09:04

At first I must admit I just assumed the parent was waiting at home, or at least watching from a window (the set up means most of the houses have a view across the communal carpark), and because my mornings are chaos I was just concerned with getting them to school on time. I wouldn't just leave the poor child but I will be speaking to the school and finding out which door number they live at. It's a new family to the area and other than a hello in the mornings I haven't spoken to them at all really.

OP posts:
theoddoneasalways · 23/06/2023 09:05

Talk to school as a safeguarding concern, send the child back to their house in the morning.

Dontjudgeme101 · 23/06/2023 09:06

Have you now told the school op?

StopStartStop · 23/06/2023 09:06

Be aware the child might have been told that you will look after them, and might be blamed if you don't!
My dad (a charmer in those days) told eight year old me that a neighbour was 'looking after' me and my four year old brother. I asked the neighbour. He didn't know anything about it. My dad was just leaving us alone every night.

Shinyandnew1 · 23/06/2023 09:07

Do you walk to school? How far is it from your house?

What did/does the child say when he arrives? Surely there was some kind of, ‘hello, who are you/how can we help you?’ conversation on the first day-what did he respond? I’d have spoken to the school that day, to be honest.

Beautiful3 · 23/06/2023 09:08

Well you know that isn't normal behaviour. You absolutely have to tell school. Bring the child with you to the office in the morning, to see a member of the safe guarding team. Explain what's been happening.

Original poster
ApplesandOrangesandPears · 23/06/2023 09:08

The thing is had the parents asked me and spoken to me I really wouldn't mind, the child is lovely and its not their fault obviously but it's the lack of consideration. I am concerned, frankly I can't imagine sending a child to what is essentially a strangers home (I know I'm a school parent, but that doesn't mean I would be necessarily safe! I am obviously but they wouldn't know that).

OP posts:
Sesimbra · 23/06/2023 09:09

You need to head the neighbour off OP. Be ready standing outside and run over as soon as you see them. Make it clear you are not responsible for their child and will call police/SS if they leave.

Absolute cheeky fuckers! Agree also with reporting to school. Do you not see who picks the child up at end of day?

Whinge · 23/06/2023 09:09

I will be speaking to the school and finding out which door number they live at.

A child has been left on your doorstep for the last 5 days and you're going to speak to the school to ask about the door number. Hmm This is a huge safeguarding concern and you don't seem to be taking it seriously at all.

ProtestantsHateAbba · 23/06/2023 09:11

Definitely tell the school what is happening. This is a safeguarding concern from their perspective. The parent(s) have the cheek of 10 arses behaving this way.

Avondale89 · 23/06/2023 09:11

Surely this can’t be genuine? I cannot fathom seemingly accepting this for 5 days and then having to ask what to do on the internet BEFORE alerting the school.

Original poster
ApplesandOrangesandPears · 23/06/2023 09:13

Whinge · 23/06/2023 09:09

I will be speaking to the school and finding out which door number they live at.

A child has been left on your doorstep for the last 5 days and you're going to speak to the school to ask about the door number. Hmm This is a huge safeguarding concern and you don't seem to be taking it seriously at all.

No I will be speaking to the school to explain what's happening, not to find out the door number, but that is something else I will be doing.

I believe the father picks the child up from school, but my child is in after school clubs so I'm not 100% sure.

OP posts:
PushmePull · 23/06/2023 09:14

Surely not. Why would you not have asked the child to show you where they live by now so you can talk to the parents in the evening, or waited outside your door to catch them? You should know that school is not going to blithely pass on a child's address too.

Tdcp · 23/06/2023 09:15

Frankly, you need to do more than get the door number from the school. I'm not sure you realise how serious this actually is. Someone is leaving their child on a strangers doorstep and hoping they 1, answer the door and 2, will actually take that child to school safely. If they're doing this their will be other concerns to do with the child's safety and well-being. A responsible parent just wouldn't do this!

This needs flagging with the school and someone needs to inform social services to look into their 'situation' before something serious happens to this poor child.

Whinge · 23/06/2023 09:15

No I will be speaking to the school to explain what's happening, not to find out the door number, but that is something else I will be doing.

Forget the door number, it doesn't bloody matter. Surely by now you've been in touch with the school? If not you need to phone them as a matter of urgency.

ChocChipHandbag · 23/06/2023 09:16

I assume you are walking to school, just crossing the communal car park on the way there?
(assumption is because you’d need an extra a child seat to drive an extra child).

And you have seen the parent drive off to work from the car park?

A 7 year-old should be able to tell you quite a lot- what their parent told them, where they live, who they live with (where is the Mum, for example?), who is coming to collect them at the end of the day, do you not chat to this child at all on the way?

Please speak to the school without delay.

AhNowTed · 23/06/2023 09:20

You're very passive here OP.

Some bloke has dumped his child on your doorstep, driven off without checking if you're even in, and assumed you're free childcare!!

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