Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he should take his own child to school?

489 replies

ApplesandOrangesandPears · 23/06/2023 08:40

I have a neighbour who's child is my daughters class, every day this past week this child has showed up at my door unaccompanied to go to school with us - this would be fine but my child has ADHD and mornings are chaotic and difficult. I don't have this child's parents phone numbers, and don't know exactly where they live! However I just saw the parent in their car driving away as I was trying to bundle all 3 children across the car park.....this child is very young and so I don't feel comfortable sending them home alone and clearly the parent isn't waiting for them to get home before leaving themselves! I don't have any contact with these parents so if something were to happen I wouldn't be able to let them know, we are also going away soon and won't be able to take him to school! AIBU to think this is really cheeky of the parents and that you shouldn't just assume another parent will take yours to school with no prior conversation at all!

OP posts:
Original poster
ApplesandOrangesandPears · 23/06/2023 09:50

I feel like dropping off a child at a police station when they're supposed to be in school would be traumatic for the child - they are expected in school and are obviously safe while there. The school are aware of the mornings now (although children can walk to and from school alone apparently and there's no law about the age). But frankly, yes if a 7 year old is going to be walking alone then I would rather that they knocked on my door. I do know that there class teacher makes sure a parent is there before releasing them at the end of the day (as they do at after school clubs as well) so the child obviously does get picked up by someone.

OP posts:
ChocChipHandbag · 23/06/2023 09:51

Watchinghurling · 23/06/2023 09:40

What are you doing? I would put the child in the car and drop them at the police station. Explain to the police what's been happening and that you don't know the parents! The police can follow it up.

Course you would. Imagine the register:

Teacher: Billy?
Billy [OP’s child]: Here Miss!
Teacher: Johnny?….Johnny? Has anyone seen Johnny today?
Billy: yeah Miss, my Mum took him to the police station.
Teacher: oh my goodness, what happened?
Billy: He came to our door and wanted to walk to school with us.

ButterCrackers · 23/06/2023 09:51

Call the police from your house. Let them come and collect this child. You don’t have responsibility for the child. Just say if you had an accident on the way to school and the parents of the child went full out against you.

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 23/06/2023 09:51

Poor thing. Imagine a parent sending a child to someone's house they don't know and not even checking they got there safely. From what I've read of op's post it seems this may be the case. My dd is 7 and I've only just started letting her go into a small shop by herself with me stood at doorway watching her like a hawk. She puts a pack of sweets on counter and then I come in and pay.

I see you're going to report it. Yes definitely speak to school and flag up this child is not being looked after safely and sent to people's houses. I wonder what else may go on behind the scenes. I see it at DD's school where parents pull up and kids jump out the car to go to breakfast club and parents drive off immediately. These are 5-6 year olds sometimes and parents don't watch them walk in door which is down road and round a corner.

HealthyBBQ · 23/06/2023 09:52

Let the school know as a minimum. I would c on tact SS and say that you don’t know where this child lives or their parents and what is happening. It’s not just CF territory but abusive and m’aboutit red flag for other stuff

radfordrunner · 23/06/2023 09:53

I just don't understand why, on that first day, you just took the child to school? What did the child say to you? It's a very bizarre situation @ApplesandOrangesandPears. I would speak with the school. Who picks up the child after school?

SoccerStars · 23/06/2023 09:54

I agree the explanation posted by @NowZeusHasLainWithLeda This is exactly what I was thinking. I’m a 90s kids so things were different then but this sort of thing would happen all the time.

Btw did someone suggest OP drop kid off at police station? If so that’s riddiculous!

NewShoes · 23/06/2023 09:54

Agree with the others, this is really negligent parenting and I’d be reporting to the school straight away.

SoccerStars · 23/06/2023 09:55

ChocChipHandbag · 23/06/2023 09:51

Course you would. Imagine the register:

Teacher: Billy?
Billy [OP’s child]: Here Miss!
Teacher: Johnny?….Johnny? Has anyone seen Johnny today?
Billy: yeah Miss, my Mum took him to the police station.
Teacher: oh my goodness, what happened?
Billy: He came to our door and wanted to walk to school with us.

Show quote history

😂😂😂😂

Bunnycat101 · 23/06/2023 09:58

The other parents are clearly the most wrong but I am surprised that on day 1 you didn’t take the child back to their house even if that made you late. I’m in a road with lots of friends from school who sometimes turn up unannounced unknown to their parents. My assumption if a 7yo turned up at my door unexpectedly would therefore be to take them home and not just take them to school. After 5 days you’re now just enabling the bad behaviour on the part of the other parents as they are now probably assuming it’s all fine.

Original poster
ApplesandOrangesandPears · 23/06/2023 09:58

And the school just thanked me for letting them know - they very rightly cannot discuss another child with me.

OP posts:
CruCru · 23/06/2023 09:59

The thing is, the OP actually has to live wherever it is that she lives. Taking this child to the police station is like bombing your house because it’s a bit messy.

It sounds as though this child is allowed to walk to school on their own. They prefer walking with the OP. The OP has mentioned it to the school.

SoccerStars · 23/06/2023 10:03

For all the those advising police, if this kids parents have given permission to walk to school himself, what grounds would she be taking him to the police station on? If she chooses not to walk with him fine but how could she justify taking him to police?
A seven year old will know where they live. This could have been resolved on the first day had they been asked and the parents then spoken to or a message left at the school office to be passed onto his dad at home time.

The way some of you have little to no compassion for kids that aren’t yours is shocking. That could’ve been traumatic for the child if OP had your mindset.

I'm glad the school are aware now.

ButterCrackers · 23/06/2023 10:07

SoccerStars · 23/06/2023 10:03

For all the those advising police, if this kids parents have given permission to walk to school himself, what grounds would she be taking him to the police station on? If she chooses not to walk with him fine but how could she justify taking him to police?
A seven year old will know where they live. This could have been resolved on the first day had they been asked and the parents then spoken to or a message left at the school office to be passed onto his dad at home time.

The way some of you have little to no compassion for kids that aren’t yours is shocking. That could’ve been traumatic for the child if OP had your mindset.

I'm glad the school are aware now.

The kid’s parent is dropping them off by car at the house of the OP without any prior discussion. This kid isn’t just walking to school and knocking on the door. The OP doesn’t know the parent or have any contact details. A 7year old is a minor. I’d contact the police because I don’t have responsibility for said child.

User57632678372 · 23/06/2023 10:07

anonymousxoxo · 23/06/2023 09:38

Grow a backbone, learn to say no.

Who is OP supposed to say no to? The 7 year old? Her post states that she has no contact with the parents, is unsure where they live, and they are not sticking around long enough for OP to speak with them.

ChocChipHandbag · 23/06/2023 10:10

ButterCrackers · 23/06/2023 10:07

The kid’s parent is dropping them off by car at the house of the OP without any prior discussion. This kid isn’t just walking to school and knocking on the door. The OP doesn’t know the parent or have any contact details. A 7year old is a minor. I’d contact the police because I don’t have responsibility for said child.

Show quote history

Perhaps go back and read OP’s posts again. The child is walking from his own house to OP’s house. Both houses are within walking distance of the school.

The parent is leaving the shared car park by car to drive to work.

Do you need a diagram?

EmmaMY · 23/06/2023 10:10

How far away from school do you live OP? And do you cross roads walking there?

I walked myself to school at that age, about a kilometre crossing several roads etc.

but it’s strange that the child keeps showing up at your door. Have you asked them about why they keep showing up?

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 23/06/2023 10:10

So in the OP's update, the school have been informed (by her) and have confirmed that children are allowed to go to school on their own.

So the only issue then is that Freddy turns up to walk to school with Billy. And Freddy's parents didn't check with Billy's that that was OK.

Not sure what the school will now do, if anything. No safeguarding issue. They won't call the parents to say that Freddy can't go on his own , because he can. They aren't going to tell the Dad off for letting Freddy call round to his friends to go to school together.

Case closed really from the school and Freddy's case. It's just now how the OP is going to stop Freddy calling round (if that's what she wants)

pikkumyy77 · 23/06/2023 10:14

Please stop beating up on the poor op!

Amillionlovesongslater · 23/06/2023 10:14

ApplesandOrangesandPears · 23/06/2023 08:49

The child is 7, the same as mine, I know I'm probably a lot more protective due to mine being so impulsive and distracted so a complete danger if left alone but still too young in my opinion.

Tell the school, this is a safeguarding issue. Poor child. My mum used to do this to me as a kid, send me off to a random neighbour in the morning to try and blag a lift and also some sort of breakfast/lunch. It felt like shit, please report.

ButterCrackers · 23/06/2023 10:14

ChocChipHandbag · 23/06/2023 10:10

Perhaps go back and read OP’s posts again. The child is walking from his own house to OP’s house. Both houses are within walking distance of the school.

The parent is leaving the shared car park by car to drive to work.

Do you need a diagram?

Show quote history

Where do you see the words « walking to school » ? Or any phrase that is about walking? Do read it through yourself and yes do provide a diagram. I’m interested in your extrapolation.

Meanoldlady · 23/06/2023 10:15

Can't believe there are people that would take a small child to the police station over something like this. Talk about traumatising the poor kid!

Peak mumsnet pearl clutching going on here. Yes, its a bit concerning but she's taken care of him and told the school.

If he comes again, I'd get him to show you where he lives OP. You will need to speak to the parents about it

LadyJ2023 · 23/06/2023 10:15

How odd a random child and you don't think it's odd but take them to school huh

MooMooSharoo · 23/06/2023 10:16

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 23/06/2023 10:10

So in the OP's update, the school have been informed (by her) and have confirmed that children are allowed to go to school on their own.

So the only issue then is that Freddy turns up to walk to school with Billy. And Freddy's parents didn't check with Billy's that that was OK.

Not sure what the school will now do, if anything. No safeguarding issue. They won't call the parents to say that Freddy can't go on his own , because he can. They aren't going to tell the Dad off for letting Freddy call round to his friends to go to school together.

Case closed really from the school and Freddy's case. It's just now how the OP is going to stop Freddy calling round (if that's what she wants)

There is a massive safeguarding issue!

Freddy's parents aren't making sure that he gets to OP's door safely, nor that she actually answers it.

What if OP is away, like she says she will be soon? Poor little Freddy is knocking on a house and there's no answer and in the meantime his parents have driven off and left him.

Freddy's parents not only haven't asked OP, but they don't know anything about them. For all they know, OP and her husband could be part of a massive crime syndicate and dealing drugs. Obviously they're not and I'm being overdramatic, but are you saying you'd happily let your child go round to the house of someone you don't know, who has no means of contacting you?

What happens if Freddy trips on a kerb on his way to school and breaks his leg? OP is now suddenly responsible for a child that she has no connection with and has not agreed to look after.

Meanoldlady · 23/06/2023 10:18

ButterCrackers · 23/06/2023 10:14

Where do you see the words « walking to school » ? Or any phrase that is about walking? Do read it through yourself and yes do provide a diagram. I’m interested in your extrapolation.

Show quote history

Err.... hate to upset you way up there on your high horse but yes, OP has said all of this and you sound a bit silly.