AIBU to think this is grim. Funeral.

[ThatFraggle]

A group of mourners all in normal funeral clothes. Some more formal, some less. Some not black. Fine.

Then a group of three girls. They looked older than primary school age, but younger than A level.

The one was in a skintight mini dress she kept having to pull down.

The other two were in those hotpants-vest combo unitard things people seem to wear these days. Basically like a spanx leotard, coming a couple of inches below the bum.

Yes, it's hot. And yes, people can wear what they like, but surely there's a time and a place, and a funeral is not the place.

AIBU that if it were my young teens coming down for a funeral dressed like that, I'd tell them to go back upstairs and get changed?

I agree it’s inappropriate and disrespectful. And if I want to think that , it’s my prerogative as well . I would probably blame the parents .

it’s only for one day. Not expecting Victorian mourning clothes FGS just something a bit more respectful .

When my sister died I told my four children what would be suitable for the funeral.

I asked the boys to wear suits and the girls to wear skirts or dresses - not mini.

I ended up having to buy a new suit for DS though!

I'd ask my teens if they wanted to attend a family member's funeral and wouldn't dream of forcing them. Lots of people (teens included) find funerals hard. People should be allowed to grieve in their own way. And they shouldn't feel compelled to attend funerals if e.g. they didn't know the deceased particularly well, and were not attending to support someone who did.

Was he into that type of music then ? If so it’s a tribute and different .

It’s what youngsters wear. Couldn’t get worked about this given their ages.

Be careful what you wish for, I have female relatives in Iran. This is a horrible thread.

At my FIL's funeral one woman wore these shoes. No idea why she thought them appropriate!

I’d love for someone to explain why hotpants or high heels are disrespectful. In plain English

Who on earth do you think 'isn't allowing' particular clothes in church? Do you think vicars are in the business of turning away mourners if they don't meet the dress code?!

Ideally, yes, someone would have told them that it wasn't a great funeral outfit and that a different outfit would be better even if it wasn't black. But you don't know why that may or may not have happened - if you don't know what relation they were you clearly don't know these girls or their situation at all. 'Don't judge' is easier to say than do but it really does seem that you should try not to judge mourners at a funeral of all things.

oh dear...

With a black trouser suits at a push... clutching at straws trying to be nice!

At my mum’s funeral my uncle gave a reading. The shoes he wore were so old that they literally crumbled to rubber dust as he walked to the podium and back. We had to go around sweeping them up afterwards. It brought a little levity to the otherwise devastating proceedings and people still comment on it till this day.

I think it’s fair to have a little private tut and grumble about these things but let’s face it those kids have plenty of time to be hit with the reality of death and funerals let them go on being oblivious until they have to.

The funeral is there to show your respect to the deceased and their family. Not to try to show your butt and bring attention to yourself.

Respect for your environment and not confusing a church/ mosque/ synagogue or any place of worship with a nightclub wouldn't hurt either.

How is hard to understand? You wore hotpants at school or to your job interviews? Bad enough if you are wedding guest, but at a funeral? Seriously? Why does it have to be about YOU?

Meh. Funerals are a chance for people to get together, mourn the lost one, gossip, eat and people watch.

We in the West get too sentimental about funerals, we should learn from other more pragmatic cultures.

I was shocked at my uncles funeral how people were attired. Black everything is standard unless the person that died said bright colours, steel toe cap boots etc. How hard is this to understand?

I wished she had worn a trouser suit! 😳 I don't often raise eyebrows and "clutch pearls" but on that occasion I was stunned into it. I excused it as she didn't know better but my giddy aunt, I felt old!!

If it had been one of my DD, I would have not hesitated to come out with the immortal like "you're not going out dressed like that"

But you’re not in Italy (unless a huge drip feed is coming?).

If you’re in the UK, it’s not unusual for people to attend church weddings/christenings with uncovered shoulders and legs. Comparing cultural norms in completely separate countries is pointless in situations like this.

I’m sorry for your loss, don’t let different opinions on fashion/appropriate clothing take away from what I hope was a lovely send of for your friend/family member.

I have no idea. It's just a lack of socialisation, perhaps. Just wearing what you want and not reflecting on the occasion.

I think an awful lot of people on this thread have forgotten that the purpose of going to a funeral is to mourn the deceased. Or to support someone who is mourning the deceased. I'm not sure there are particular clothes that are less or more appropriate for doing those things?

If the family (or the deceased) has expressed a particular desire for mourners to wear particular clothing, then it would be courteous to do so. But otherwise? Clothing is not the most important thing. If you're worrying about what people are wearing at a funeral, maybe you should question why you are there?

Black everything is standard unless the person that died said bright colours, steel toe cap boots etc. How hard is this to understand?

no it’s not

Yes, I'd like to think vicars could turn people away. In cathedrals I've visited in this country, they have dress codes printed for tourists. What's wrong with that?

But there parents would know. .. and god forbid do a bit of parenting..

To all the 'myob' posters

. This is so lazy and predictable. Do you not realise it's an anonymous forum where people seek opinions ?

No thread on here that is about another person than the poster is 'no one else's business' ... literally. Doesn't mean people can't ask for advice, support or views . It's the ENTIRE point of MN.. and sometimes different perspectives changes or challenges peoples point of view .

If you feel it's 'none of your business' then don't bother posting !! Making snarky remarks to other posters doesn't make you look cleverer/cooler/or more superior. It just makes you look like a twattish point scorer .

Of course not ideal funeral attire but actually what gives you the right to judge some kids for what they wore to say goodbye to someone they cared about? Maybe they are the only black clothes they own.

They showed up, that would be all that mattered to me.

And I love how half the people on this thread just assume that all teens have parents that give a monkey’s what they’re up to or what they’re wearing.

Do you know their relationship to the deceased? It wouldn't bother me in the slightest, I think people should dress as colourful as they like at a funeral but I guess it depends on the wishes of the deceased. I don't know what your connection is so it's hard to say whether you should be bothered

The way people are dressed indicates how they feel about an occasion. My niece turned up to my uncles funeral as if she was going out clubbing in fucking Ibiza. No-one wants to see tits and arse at a funeral.

People are so scared of upsetting others that no-one says shit. It's a modern disease.