AIBU to think this is grim. Funeral.

[ThatFraggle]

A group of mourners all in normal funeral clothes. Some more formal, some less. Some not black. Fine.

Then a group of three girls. They looked older than primary school age, but younger than A level.

The one was in a skintight mini dress she kept having to pull down.

The other two were in those hotpants-vest combo unitard things people seem to wear these days. Basically like a spanx leotard, coming a couple of inches below the bum.

Yes, it's hot. And yes, people can wear what they like, but surely there's a time and a place, and a funeral is not the place.

AIBU that if it were my young teens coming down for a funeral dressed like that, I'd tell them to go back upstairs and get changed?

Depends who's funeral it was tbh. My friend died last year and he'd have loved his female friends turning up dressed in skimpy outfits.
My Grandad otoh would find it highly inappropriate.

Most of the young men I know attend funerals in black jeans and hoodie or leather jacket. I agree maybe parents should guide but in their head funerals mean black so they wear a black outfit. Even what you have described is fine if not what us oldies would wear.

I didn't give a flying fig what people wore to DH's funeral, the fact they showed up trumped what they wore.

Would I tell my teen what appropriate funeral wear was? Yes, I would.

Did my Dad tell me and my brother what appropriate funeral wear was when we were attending Mum's funeral? No, he didn't. Weirdly enough he had other things on his mind.

You have no idea how these kids are related to the deceased or what they're going through or indeed what their parents are going through. I think it's grim that you're judging kids going to a funeral, tbh.

Nothing to do with you.

I would be interested to know how all of you are related to the deceased.

Years ago, at my grandmother's funeral, some random, not-related, women sat behind me were making comments and tutting about my 5 year old cousin's dress. It was a sleeveless dark navy dress. It was hot. The service was loooooong. This then little girl behaved impeccably. But :clutches pearls: her bare arms were showing. I still wish I'd been able to think of something to say to them in the moment. Horrible women.

I agree inappropriate. Learning that there are times and places for certain attire should be a normal thing.

More context needed, but generally speaking I'd be more bothered that they made the effort to turn up than about what they were wearing. Only saying that as my Aunt died recently and I was the only one of her nieces and nephews who attended her funeral.

Really inappropriate and disrespectful

It was a church

Inappropriate.

This. Inappropriate for a funeral. At 13 years old they are old enough to know that.

I agree inappropriate too but then I’m a 69 year old fuddy duddy, completely out of touch with what young girls wear nowadays. Things are far less formal than when I was their age.

I disagree. If they turned up to a wedding wearing white lace hot pants and bra top there would be uproar with how inappropriate it was.

weddings and funerals, not your day to be centre or attention.

I’d think very poorly of them and their parents.

Above primary age - so 10/11 - and under A level age - so 16-18 - is a huge age gap and the appropriateness of an 11yo wearing that and a 16yo is huge too.

However, I agree with others. What difference does it make? Unless you spent the whole service staring at their barely covered arses, you should have just acknowledged and appreciated that they came to pay their respects, and then turned your attention back to why everyone was there - the deceased and their loved ones

Agreed. Completely inappropriate.

I couldn’t give a damn what they were wearing. They showed to to pay their respects in their own way. None of your bloody business.

My niece and nephew went to my Dad's funeral in tatty jogging bottoms and t-shirts. That was a Church service.

My Mum was upset about that. She didn't expect them to dress up formally but thought they could have looked smarter, even if they'd just worn school trousers and a smart top.

None of your business. Judging a woman for wearing something that you deem to be inappropriate is called slut shaming and its not cool. Focus on your own shit.

Disrespectful also.

Was the dead person really upset that they had short shorts on then?

If they were black I imagine they were their only black clothes.

The adults in their households should have ensured they were properly dressed.

That makes it even worse. I suppose the vicar couldn't stop them but it's just so inappropriate. I don't understand how parents are teaching children the basic understanding of what is appropriate. It feels like foreign cultures do this so much better than us.

They attended and they paid their respects. Perhaps the person they were saying goodbye to would much rather have had them comfortable in their own clothes than not had them there at all. Perhaps they did not have the money to buy a whole new outfit which would then be shoved in the back of their wardrobe.