AIBU to think this is grim. Funeral.

[ThatFraggle]

A group of mourners all in normal funeral clothes. Some more formal, some less. Some not black. Fine.

Then a group of three girls. They looked older than primary school age, but younger than A level.

The one was in a skintight mini dress she kept having to pull down.

The other two were in those hotpants-vest combo unitard things people seem to wear these days. Basically like a spanx leotard, coming a couple of inches below the bum.

Yes, it's hot. And yes, people can wear what they like, but surely there's a time and a place, and a funeral is not the place.

AIBU that if it were my young teens coming down for a funeral dressed like that, I'd tell them to go back upstairs and get changed?

Do PP know that there are many female vicars around?
Twice now vicars have been automatically assumed to be male...

O agree with you - disrespectful & not appropriate for a funeral. There are numerous other clothes they could have worn to stay cool & yet be appropriate. Seems to me a lit of parents just don't teach their children what's acceptable & what's not these days.

I'm a Catholic. I assumed you were talking about the ordination of a Priest. Not sure, in any case, why it matters whether it was a male or female. The point is, it was still disrespectful. Why do you assume, because no one said anything directly to you, that everyone approved of your outfit?

Since you assume the priest was male (CofE ordinations are still priests) and were wrong you can't see you are wrong about your assumption people care what I wore? It wasn't disrespectful in the slightest.

Maybe CofE is much less judge.

You, your the funny bit.
why do we need to see someone’s bralette?

What difference does it make to your life, precisely?

I mean, apart from the wear and tear on your pearls.

It's not that 'it doesn't matter', just that it would be extremely rude to make these girls feel uncomfortable for their dress at a funeral. I do wonder at the posters who have the head space to notice what people at a funeral would be wearing, never mind start a thread to incite as many snide comments as possible. I think they're lacking.

What could those girls have done given that they were already in attendance? Rushed home to change and missed the funeral? Hidden their wrong and shocking selves behind a curtain...?

I imagine that these girls will have clocked what other people are wearing and/or somebody close to them might guide them about funeral attire in future but if that doesn't happen, so what? Judgement is impotent and achieves absolutely nothing other than to give the bosom hoick-er a frisson of pleasure for their spite. Sad for them that they crave that so badly. People always notice.

It's not that people don't notice inappropriate clothing, any more than they don't notice spelling errors, it's just that some of us don't feel the need to pull people up on things that actually do not matter in the real world.

AIBU would be very quiet if people only posted about stuff that affected them directly.

I agree with pp. Of course people won't have commented or said it to you at church, but at least some of them will have found the revealing playsuit (as you described it) inappropriate dress for the ordination you were attending. I'm afraid you are deceiving yourself if you think otherwise.

You are probably right that some people won't care, but you are wrong in thinking everyone won't.

Yes mum.

Mothers can be very wise, people should listen to them more 😉

If you don't know what relation they are then it sounds like you were a random to this funeral tbh. I would be surprised they were allowed in if I looked back at photos but if I was there at the time I wouldn't notice because I'd be, you know, mourning and grieving. Clearly your co workers funeral or something.

"good breeding"?

What are you, a posh horse?

Pahaha sorry that really tickled me
What a comeback 😂😂👏

Neither have the slightest to do with 'respect' and are two entirely different things. In a job interview in most industries the candidate wants to look like they would fit with the culture of the workplace, which extends to clothes. Its not about respect for the panel, its pure pragmatism to signal you look like you could work there so you get the job.
Girls attending a funeral are highly unlikely to want to signal anything to random attendees like the OP, and unless the deceased was also preoccupied with attire they wouldn't be disrespecting their wishes.
Occasions are not something to respect, people are. And unless the OP is claiming the deceased and/or close family would have seen the clothes as a deliberate act of offence, no disrespect occurred. Although if it were my funeral and my DGD, I'd take a fairly dim view of the OP calling it 'grim' all over MN. As that would be disrespectful to my family.

If you knew my family and the context, you would know this wasn't ok and that it was done on purpose out of disrespect.

Your jumps of logic are strange. Because I, as a Catholic living in Ireland, assumed when you used the word Ordination you were talking about a male, that means I am wrong about all assumptions?

Yet you assume that no one cares about what people wear to Church ceremonies anymore because no one directly commented to you about an unsuitable outfit you wore to an Ordination? It doesn't even seem to occur to you that, just because people said nothing, it doesn't mean they were silently annoyed or taken aback but were too polite to comment?

I'm sorry, it seems we just profoundly disagree on this.
I consider it disrespectful to the deceased, the family, to God to wear clubbing/beach wear to a funeral or ordination. Certain clothing is appropriate to certain activities and not others. Swimwear is absolutely fine at a beach or pool but not suitable elsewhere, for example. Similarly, hotpants and revealing playsuits are appropriate to wear on some occasions and not others. But I don't think this is the teens' fault, they should have been guided as to what was suitable.
I wouldn't allow my daughter to turn up in micro shorts at a funeral any more than I'd let my son attend in his cycling shorts and a vest top. They are also young teens so the same sort of ages as the kids here.
Neither should parents have to purchase outfits specially for them of course. I don't think they need wear black and lots of casual clothing would be fine for a child or teen to wear. School trousers etc would be fine too.

I saw a woman who wore a hoodie with bright pink cycling shorts I had to stop myself from laughing she looked at me. It's a sight for sore eyes, seriously. I agree people should wear what they want but it doesn't mean it looks good.

I remember when I was early teens had to go to a fmaily funeral and did not own a funeral appropriate outfit. Wardrobe was all jeans and t shirts. So my grandmother made me wear my navy school blazer. Got a few strange looks but better than jeans and a t shirt.

The main objective of parenting is socialising your children so that they can eventually navigate life independently and know how to behave appropriately in the adult world. Wearing sombre clothes to a funeral is part of that.

Children wearing uniforms at funerals definitely used to be a thing. It would usually be the smartest clothing they had.

Based on this thread I am absolutely going to write in my will that clubbing outfits will not just be acceptable but encouraged at my funeral. I would love my funeral to be a rave-up, really.

Me too. Hot pants or don’t bother coming.

If that's what you want people to wear at your funeral then that's fine. If people want a more traditional funeral then that's okay. I think the posters above me have shown how much this has affected them that now they are planning their funerals 🙄

Presumably the front-line mourners were the ones to state that there was no dress code?
there was no dress code. they respected that.
i struggle to see where the disrespect lies here?
They turned up. that was respectful of them.
i don't hear that they were on their phones all through the service. that was respectful of them.
i didn't read that they used foul language, or threw food at the wake? that was respectful of them.
the last funeral i attended was no dress code. the sons and daughters of the deceased referred to their father by his first name, as they have all their lives. Disrespectful? nah! none of anyone's business!