AIBU to think this is grim. Funeral.

[ThatFraggle]

A group of mourners all in normal funeral clothes. Some more formal, some less. Some not black. Fine.

Then a group of three girls. They looked older than primary school age, but younger than A level.

The one was in a skintight mini dress she kept having to pull down.

The other two were in those hotpants-vest combo unitard things people seem to wear these days. Basically like a spanx leotard, coming a couple of inches below the bum.

Yes, it's hot. And yes, people can wear what they like, but surely there's a time and a place, and a funeral is not the place.

AIBU that if it were my young teens coming down for a funeral dressed like that, I'd tell them to go back upstairs and get changed?

Agree with you OP. The way a growing number of young women dress is pretty much indecent. It’s particularly disrespectful at a funeral, when they should not be aiming on showing so much flesh that they are a spectacle. It’s intrusive

Not appropriate for a funeral. I wouldn't allow my daughter to wear something like that for a funeral. Not very respectful.
I was walking behind a young woman last week who was wearing one of those vest/hot pants combo's and I actually thought she had forgotten to put the rest of her clothing on 😉

Unless the funeral was for a peer of similar age then yes sounds very inappropriate.

Agree with you OP. The way a growing number of young women dress is pretty much indecent. It’s particularly disrespectful at a funeral, when they should not be aiming on showing so much flesh that they are a spectacle. It’s intrusive

You know they used to write this kind of shit about women showing their ankles don’t you? You don’t get to decide what is ‘a spectacle ’

I drove passed a funeral this afternoon and saw very similar. I didn’t think it was appropriate, but it must have been hard for them to attend at all.
Life’s short.

This is exactly what I was going to say.

If it was my funeral:

1. I’m dead, so I don’t care
2. even if I could somehow know this, I still wouldn’t care

At Dss’s funeral loads of people wore heavy metal t-shirts. We didn’t particularly request that they wore these but it seemed appropriate on the day. I actually felt quite overdressed. I think it’s fine.

All for girls wearing what they like but this is disrespectful at a funeral. Their parents should be ashamed though for not teaching them to show their respect.

I’ll just be grateful if someone, anyone turns up for mine.

I agree. I would rather teens appeared in "inappropriate" clothes than not be there at all - and the word "grim" used in this context is a far, far, greater sin!

So much angst on MN about what people wear to funerals - I thought we got past this sort of thing decades ago.

YANBU

I don’t really care if people want to wear whatever they please. I don’t want to have to look at bum cheeks, massive amounts of chest or boob, or anything else that is usually covered by sensible people.

I'm not sure that means they're totally oblivious as to appropriate clothing... Not if they are teens.

If I was dead and someone at my funeral was judging what some silly 11 year olds were wearing rather than mourning me I would not be happy 🤣

What a Judgy comment.
mid it were my funeral is just glad they came

It wouldn’t bother me, but in Ireland we go to a lot of funerals, and there isn’t generally much sense of funerals being hugely formal affairs that require entirely different dress codes and behaviours to life in general.

I used to be puzzled by the number of posts on here from posters asking what to wear to funerals, and what to expect, and how not to cry in case your children saw you, until I realised that in the UK in general, people won’t go to a lot of funerals outside of immediate family, so don’t have much practice until they themselves are bereaved.

Of course some funerals have people wearing cheerful clothes. And sometimes people are so struck down with grief that they look 'unkempt'. That's normal. Unremarkable.

My question is: are hotpants at a church funeral something a reasonable person would think is ok?

Especially when you contrast it with the fact that in Italy, for example, you would not be allowed into a church as a tourist even in a floor-length strappy dress if your shoulders were bare.

I agree very inappropriate. Dd was a similar age and wanted to wear a skimpy top to a great grandparents funeral. I read her the riot act on that one. In the end she wore fairly informal but respectful clothes.

generally speaking I'd be more bothered that they made the effort to turn up than about what they were wearing

Also... in what universe do young teenagers get a say in whether or not they are going to "make the effort" and deign to turn up for a family member's funeral?

Since when did this kind of thing become optional?

Very grim and disrespectful

but I am sure they took plenty of selfie to try to boost their social media numbers
#RIP #funeral #waterproofmascara #crying #lookatme
#funeralselfielmao

Why do posters think their attire with disrespectful? It's not following socially accepted tradition, but is that a big deal?

I think their respect in turning up at the funeral (bearing in mind they sound old enough that they could have been left at home ie. weren't dragged along by parents) trumps any "disrespect" by what they wore. As OP doesn't know who they were in relation to the deceased, she can't comment on things like whether they are wearing the clothes they always wore to see him, or whether he'd asked them to wear such clothing at the funeral as most people would be very formal.

Actually teachers and other professionals have a dress code that is part of their contract. No so at a funeral.

Yeah it’s inappropriate but I’d be blaming the parents who didn’t guide them.

are hotpants at a church funeral something a reasonable person would think is ok?

People know perfectly well the difference between beachwear/ club wear/ funeral. They just don't care.

Why do posters think their attire with disrespectful? It's not following socially accepted tradition, but is that a big deal?

is that a real question 🙄