To be fed up with ultra casual work wear

[Ceci03]

So I work in an office quite large about 30 people if everyone is in. Mostly there are fewer though. Hybrid working so only in 2-3 days. But I'm fed up with the ultra casual clothes they all wear. On my team there's a woman about 30 who wears skinny jeans and a jumper every day. Another wears leggings and a jumper every day. I like these women no worries but I have bought some nice clothes a few dresses and blazers but when I get up in the morning I feel like I will stick out too much if I wear them and end up
Wearing my old black trousers and some old top so I get in. It's my problem more than theirs. I want to look nice but chicken out. It seems to be a thing to wear the least flattering comfy clothes. Typing this am realizing I need to just wear what I want. But I want to fit in too !! Wish people would make a bit more of an effort. None of them wear make up or anything like that lol. Which is ok but makes me feel like a weirdo for putting on my mascara and lipstick lol. I guess IABU

There is no right or wrong way to dress. How you dress is dictated by the culture of your organisation. Not sure why you bought business-casual clothes to wear when you have a casual workplace? I work in tech - I’d look like a nob if I turned up in a suit.

I do think that pps claiming that no-one notices what you wear and no-one is judging you for your appearance are being either very naive or disingenuous.

I know it's fashionable to say these things but, really? Of course we all judge everyone we meet and particularly for their choices, of which clothes and make-up are the most obvious and visible. Your judgment might take the form of approval or admiration and a feeling of affinity with them, but it's still judgement.

I get so tired of the pretence that it doesn't happen.

Yabu. You sound incredibly petty, controlling, judgemental and uptight. Try focussing on your job instead of other people’s choices (which in no way affect you).

it is toxic office bullshit like this that makes me glad I wfh 90 percent of the time.

Dress codes were implemented to install a professional work ethic.

This might seem draconian but a slovenly appearance suggested a slovenly attitude.

I'd think it's a sad world where you go into a bank and the assistant is wearing a vest top, lounge pants and fluffy sliders.

I wouldn't buy a kitchen, a car or a house from anyone dressed like they're watching telly on a Saturday night.

You are massively overthinking. You think that their choices in what to wear dictate what you wear? don't be silly!

I work in a team of three. One wears full office dress and makeup and looks lovely, I'm in the middle and wear a top and black trousers, no make up. Our other colleague wears sandals, t-shirt and cotton beach-style pants. And nobody gives a fuck or compares us.

I was verging on you being a bit highly strung for giving a shit about what people wore to work just so you feel better about yourself, and then you said this. Now I agree with a PP, you do sound awful.

Maybe find something else to do with your time than being "fed up" with what other women wear and whether things look good or bad on them, depending on body shape and size 🙄

They wear a uniform though.

In OP's case, it doesn't sound like they have one.

I wouldn't buy a kitchen, a car or a house from anyone dressed like they're watching telly on a Saturday night.

See, to me, suits at work look dated and naff and certainly don’t make me trust someone more. The classic estate agent getup says ‘footballer at his own sexual assault trial’ rather than ‘business professional’. Norms have moved on!

We have uniform codes for work... when we are in for a "normal" shift with customers. When we are in for trainings or other days we have no restrictions at all. We all rock up in looking like "us" and it gives us all chance to see who everyone is under the white shirts 🤣

Or in other words. This is a you problem OP.

Expecting people to wear make up is controlling

My current workplace at one point had banned shorts and flipflops, because people would literally be wearing their beach attire to work (and either going after work, or they were coming to work from the beach).

These days shorts and flipflops are allowed, just not swimming shorts.

This was because the rule only applied to the men... Women could wear short and flip flops. So they were called on the double standard and relaxed the rule to mean appropriate shorts and "smart" flipflops.

Apart from the "office" people at my workplace (its a media company), who wear smart casual, everyone else wears casual

I think some people do and some people don't. And neither side believe the other one because it is so wildly different to their own experience. I never judge what people wear because I don't notice/care I couldn't tell you what anyone I saw in the office today was wearing.

Because I aasume everyone thinks like me, I see posts like yours and think that you are an oddball! This probably isn't true, probably loads of people do notice and judge. But that is hard for me to understand as someone who doesn't. Just like for you, you see a post like mine and can't comprehend it, so think I am in the minority or am making it up.

There is no reason to pretend. These post are anonymous.

Why? Does the car turn into a giant fluffy slider after 3 months of purchase date?

I wear leggings and long tops to the office as do many of my colleagues, you wouldn't like our office OP

I think I totally misinterpreted actually, very sorry!

Honestly, I despair.

I really wouldn't like to see a professional in pyjamas and slippers . It's rude.

I'm clearly in the minority but the majority seem to cling on to the 'you do you' attitude.

Maybe teachers ought to rock up in lounge wear, maybe dentists should too.
Why bother with scrubs... just wear activewear . Scrubs are worn all day, why not activewear?

As a nation , we have become lazy and scruffy.

But no one cares.

Never lower yourself to other people's standards.

Wear what you like.

I really wouldn't like to see a professional in pyjamas and slippers . It's rude.

Has this ever actually happened?

You seem to live in an imaginary world!

When have you ever seen 'a professional in pyjamas and slippers'? I wager never.

I agree to a certain extent - but there's no reason why this uniform can't be more casual - eg nominated colours for trousers, polo shirt, sweater rather than the formal shirt and tie and blazer . Also to be simple items purchasable in Asda, Next etc rather than specified suppliers.

And you sound a slob.

As a teacher, I totally agree with this.

Or many of us know this and frankly don’t care because we’re there to work or go about our day, not be fashion police.

Do I notice what someone wears, yes, do I particularly care enough to talk about it to others or give it much thought, no.

Do I care if the person is capable of doing their job more than their clothing, yes.

People can dress up “professionally” and “smart” and still be incapable of doing a decent job or do it in away that clients and/or customers find them unapproachable and that goes for outside the workplace with strangers.

No one will think it’s weird if you dress up, OP. I work in an environment where people range from very very casually dressed to the full nine yards, nice dress, high heels, tons of makeup look. I never look askance at the dressy people, I just think they look
lovely! And I’m sure you will too!

it’s also very sweet that you talked yourself around in your own first post, full marks for being reasonable imo 😁

I work in a similar environment (tech)

I do wear nice clothes though, as I like to dress in my own style. The others are used to it.

The funny thing is that you are blaming others for your decisions Maybe they would like to dress nicer, but feel that you (and the rest) would frown on that

You could slowly start wearing nicer things, if you don't want it to come across as a statement