DH (33!) has no common sense

[HeadacheEarthquake]

Exhibit A - friend and I plan to have bbq last Sunday afternoon after a long theatre rehearsal 1hr away ending at 3pm. DH decides to light bbq and put expensive steaks I purchased on for 40 minutes as soon as we text to say we are on our way. We arrive to shrunken rubber meat biscuits.

B - Cat indoors for a week on meds. Cat has always disliked litter tray but used when needed. DH moves tray to middle of downstairs bathroom and cat boy kicks litter all over batbroom. Have asked him to clean it and it's been three days, with bathroom out of use for me and my clients as I refuse to sweep and change it if it is in the middle of the room as opposed to corner where it was. Have now at midnight had to do it as cleaner coming tomorrow and would not wish there to be doing Cat litter all over bathroom.

C- DH Made "salad" yesterday and gave me the tummy rots as tried to put "olive oil" on the salad like I do sometimes. Actually used Olivio which is vegetable oil with a dash of olive. Whole salad greasy covered in veg oil and inedible. Waste of money.

These are only a few small examples but he cannot see or think ahead and I cannot cope. Anyone else with me here with a well meaning but witless DH

@HeadacheEarthquake - if your DH is being hit in the head and you are concerned about head injuries, you need to get him right off St John’s Wort. It is linked to heamorrhaging and is one of the “natural medicines” that doctors like you to be entirely off for at least 6wks prior to elective surgery.

I thought autistic burnout even before you mentioned the family history of ND. I would be asking him to go to the GP though to check for stroke etc. If it burnout, the sooner you do something about it the better.

Is he dyspraxic? My friends hubby is very like yours and he has dyspraxia- he’s always keen to help and wants to be useful but manages to mess things up a lot!

Fair point. It may have blood-thinning properties and cannot be taken with regular blood thinners as they amplify the effect. Not advisable to take either while doing a martial art.

St John’s Wort also sensitises the skin to the sun like some antibiotics, so in summer you need more skin protection when you’re outside.

Funny question but how is hos diet? Does he eat enough protein? DM is like this and she doesn't eat enough protein. Also maybe a relaxing creative hobby for stress.

And a blood test for a start. You can buy them privately online if he won't see a GP.

I'm dyspraxic and thought the same thing!

We have those pizza/chip trays. It’s actually pizza shaped. Yet DH insists on putting pizza on the oven shelves, and moans when there’s burnt crap at the bottom of the oven. That’s one dickhead thing he does in a sea of dickhead things.

A stressful run of events impacting functioning can happen as much to women. I was convinced family thought I was trying it on when I got worse at household stuff but turned out was an autoimmune issue reacting to a build up of stressful events making me less effective. Because I was trying hard to hold it together at work, it came out more at home. Dr, meds and back on track. Def worth him seeing GP for a chat and to identify any minor symptoms that are present at moment. Don’t be fobbed off by blood tests being fine either, an X-ray picked up my condition. Good luck!

It’s really hard isn’t it! I have dyspraxic elements but not as bad as friends hubby

I'm sorry but at least he is trying. Why can't you clean the litter or make the food?

I had been repeatedly cleaning it.

I cook more often than he does but he insists on it being equal.

RTFT

"He has extensive autism and aspegers in his family I don't know if that's anything to do with it... he's now started struggling with speech and reading too."

He needs a brain scan ASAP. If he works in finance he probably has private health insurance. Do NOT delay.

This.

Yep, I am pretty unbelievable. I struggle to believe it myself sometimes. I came on for a right old bitch about the poor man, knowing MN would provide the vipers, then decided to drip feed to annoy everyone. I've reassured him that he's just stupid, and we haven't made a GP appointment. Zero concern expressed from me here, in fact I haven't even so much as looked at him since.

I'm a right cunt - IABVVU

St John’s warts has all sorts of weird effects on me and very soon after taking it. I became really over emotional, forgetting things a lot and couldn’t think straight! Tried it twice as convinced myself I’d imagined it the first time started 2 days after taking it - never again!

doesn’t help everyone!

if not that def see a gp for those changes , stress can absolutely cause all sorts of trouble but do can other things, either way worth having a chat with gp.

SJW has improved his mood for sure, but I'll add it to the list of things to discuss with the Doc on Thurs

We do have private health care

He's been very accepting so far as he can see how concerned I am

To clarify - he hasn't been put on leave, but his boss has asked him to book some time off very soon to rest.

No need for the sarcasm!
You were bitching about your DH at the start of the thread and didn't mention his health. Then there was a massive drip feed and when people started advising immediate medical attention you did act and express worry then.
Maybe you were worried before and not just exasperated and annoyed. Or maybe you weren't worried and this has been a huge wake-up call.
Either way, I hope he'll be okay.

A fair analysis but whichever of those it was, it doesn't really matter, does it? I suspect it was the second, and the OP has had the opportunity for reflection. As a result, there is a medical appt planned, which can only be a good thing. I'm hoping (IYSWIM) that it is a ND meltdown, that rest and relaxation will be prescribed and that DH will thrive on this.

do you think he needs to be assesed for early dementia if its only just started happening/getting worse. have you noticed any other signs?

Maybe she’s upset and needs support, not needling.

That’s harsh, you don’t even know him or the full story. People are different, their priorities in life are different, meaning they do things differently.

And it sounds like he was trying to help with the BBQ.

try to remember there is always three sides to a story, her side, his side and the truth

Yes, I'm sure OP is upset now and I truly hope for the best outcome for her and her DH. However there was really no need for her narky post to pp. Her original post did show a startling lack of awareness of the potential seriousness of the situation and the fact that people were a bit shocked by it is unsurprising. No need to jump down their throats for that, upset or not.

I'm glad she posted. Now he has a gp appointment and hopefully they can start addressing what's wrong. I really wish the very best for them both.

I would advise him to see a GP.

Am i the only one feeling sorry for him? He’s trying. If you want something done a particular way then full instructions or do it yourself. Hope you’re both going to be ok and work it out, name calling is not going to help