To not let my mums friend visit while potty training

[raisinglittleones]

We have decided to start potty training our 2020 baby this weekend - I’ve had it blocked out in the diary for weeks so we are all home and able to focus on the task at hand. We also have a 2021 baby so definitely need all hands on deck!

My mum has now sprung on me that a friend of hers (who is the dad of someone I used to go to school with as a child but haven’t seen in maybe 10 or more years) is staying with her this weekend and he would love to see me and the kids. I said that because of the potty training I wasn’t comfortable with having someone who is essentially a stranger (especially to my son) in the house while we are going through this big change, as I want my son to feel at ease and relaxed and not be overwhelmed.

She’s taken it personally and has said that I shouldn’t call him a stranger when he’s such a big part of our past and that his wife passed away recently so I should show some compassion.

AIBU? Am I overreacting? I've never potty trained before so have no idea what to expect - would it be fine if this guy pops round for an hour or so?

That wax for @Mumtobabyhavoc

We all have our opinions. Mum/MIL makes no difference. It's senseless to attack each other here.

Um. You need to relax. Really. If you are this focused on potty training, you will be the reason that your child is tense, not someone dropping around for a visit. You want to make this just a normal part of his life, as it should be. And people dropping in for a visit is all part of it. Frankly, the first several days will consist of a very hit-and-miss process of putting him on the potty after meals and waiting. Schedule the visit between meals, and relax

Um, let me tell you that as a Mum of 5, toilet training looks different for every child and they absolutely will not get it unless they are ready. Blocking out time in the diary sounds a little bonkers and it's going to make the whole experience so much more stressful than it needs to be for all involved.

OTT. Lighten up. You can't control everything.

We never potty trained we just let our child do what they they needed to do, it is a marathon not a sprint

I think you are way over thinking it

Wow, sounds like potty training has become quite an industry, with actual Methods with Names!

My 2004 baby and 2005 baby (🙄) never used a potty. We put pull ups on them and encouraged them to use the toilet a lot. Lots of praise and the odd treat when they did. When the pull ups were reliably dry, they were allowed to wear Big Boy Pants, first during the day then overnight.

No time off work, no pissing and shitting all over the floor.

Sorry but you are overreacting so much!!

My point is so many on here immediately blame the MIL and/or useless OH without actually thinking it could be an OP problem. I gave my advice up thread anyway if you actually bothered to RTFT

This

Why do some think it's odd to want to visit an old family friend that you've not seen in years?

Do you always over react so much?

Why didn’t you just say “oh I’m already busy this weekend and won’t be about?” Rather than have to explain about the potty training.

I think your mums reaction is OTT and unreasonable especially as they are HER plans for the weekend and not yours but also understand why some people think you’re being a bit OTT about potty training as potty training and putting immense pressure on just 1 weekend to “nail it” is setting yourself up for disappointment… that being said… I don’t think you’re silly for wanting to try get some kind of structure for it in place by having a quiet weekend at home with no distractions either.

ultimately; it’s your house, your weekend, your kids and YOUR choice regardless of what anyone here thinks.

What u gonna do when your out and about in public? Keep them home?

I think you’re being a bit over the top with this kind of comment. I don’t think that’s at all what the OP is expecting to do for the entire time she is potty training. I think it’s reasonable of a parent to maybe spend the initial introduction of potty training at home. I know friends that have dedicated a weekend or even week to trying to mostly stay in and at home to get off to a start with it.

The only thing I think she should have done is just say she was busy this weekend rather than make it a “thing” to everyone else about potty training 🤷🏻‍♀️

Differing views on potty training (or anything), not at all bizarre. So many people on here lacking the capacity to understand her point AND responding so negatively to it - yes, that's a bit bizarre.

YANBU. Potty training is a stressful time. We cracked it in 3 days with our eldest, also planned it in the diary & stayed at home for the 3 days. After that we started to venture out with a potty close by. I wouldn't feel comfortable with a stranger in our house whilst potty training the kids.

Nothing will work unless your child is ready for it. Ours got it in one day because we waited until she decided she was ready for it. None of this method nonsense.

You are definitely overreacting and over thinking potty training! CHILL OUT!

Some of the responses here are quite nasty. Why respond at all if you’re just going to call someone bonkers or be offensive.

This. It must be a wind up!

This is exactly how I think about people you just sort of know being overly keen on meeting baby. In my opinion some people are far too interested in meeting other people’s babies and I find it very off putting.

Visiting an old family friend is normal but I don’t understand why would be excited or overly interested in meeting their children

This was exactly my experience too and didn't take any time off work to do it (they were at nursery during the day anyway and nursery usually does toilet training too) No willies hanging about, just put them in normal pants from day one. This is like a military operation .

Yes!!