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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To lie my way out of the nightmare that is wedding season

358 replies

Supergluedisaster · 21/06/2023 11:40

I despise weddings. Always have always will. I’m not a social person and I can’t eat in the company of strangers. I hate making small talk and I’m a diehard eco warrior so the compulsory purchasing of outfits and travel and all the crappy ( mostly thrown away) food really grates on me.
they’re always in the summer too, a waste of a day that could have been spent on the beach or in the forest or something with the kids and not boring them to death dressed like miniature accountants for the day.
DH and I could have afforded to do what we wanted for our wedding and we simply signed at the RO and went to the pub, 6 of us took about 3.5 hrs including eating and drinking at pub .Family were delighted we weren’t forcing them to participate in anything else.
anyway, we get about 4 invites a year. I decline nearly all of them ( cousins, friends etc) luckily siblings won’t do weddings either as they share my views so never expected to be important guests anyway. Every single time I say… sorry we’re on holiday. The extended family must think we’re away all summer ! What worries me is that when the kids are old enough to use social media or talk to the family independently they’re going to drop me in it. Also feels a bit awkward trying to avoid them long enough for them to not ask the kids how their holiday was … is there a more ethical and grown up way to avoid these things without offending people? Has anyone ever had the balls to just say ‘sorry not for us we hate weddings! But good luck hope it goes really well?’

OP posts:
croft89 · 22/06/2023 07:07

I echo what Karl Pilkington said, the whole thing should be over in no more than half an hour

I see threads on here with people being upset about not being invited to a wedding. I'd be over the moon!

Just say that you can't attend, don't give a reason

LuckySantangelo35 · 22/06/2023 08:18

croft89 · 22/06/2023 07:07

I echo what Karl Pilkington said, the whole thing should be over in no more than half an hour

I see threads on here with people being upset about not being invited to a wedding. I'd be over the moon!

Just say that you can't attend, don't give a reason

@croft89

poor you and Karl cos that ain’t ever gonna happen!
weddings are full day affairs 😊

BunnyBettChetwynnd · 22/06/2023 10:22

Weddings don't have to be all day affairs. The best wedding I ever went to it was just the bride, groom, DH and me. We all wore jeans, they signed the register and we all flew to Paris for the weekend.

LuckySantangelo35 · 22/06/2023 11:35

BunnyBettChetwynnd · 22/06/2023 10:22

Weddings don't have to be all day affairs. The best wedding I ever went to it was just the bride, groom, DH and me. We all wore jeans, they signed the register and we all flew to Paris for the weekend.

@BunnyBettChetwynnd

lol lots of mumsnetters would hate having to leave their “little families” for a whole weekend! Even worse than a wedding day!

NoBetter · 22/06/2023 11:56

I wonder if many MN folk have any Asian friends…because those weddings can go on for days! The horror!

Soonenough · 22/06/2023 12:12

I don't like weddings either but for different reasons. And have had invites to other events I don't want to attend. My reply is Thank you so much for inviting me but I won't be attending. Hope you have a lovely time. Anyone that questions that is rude. So if they are offended, that is on them. I am surprised that your cousins don't know this about you. I have a couple that we don't bother asking as we all know it is not something they will want to do.

Isthisasgoodasitis · 23/06/2023 12:23

Supergluedisaster · 21/06/2023 12:00

That would be nice im almost 40 now. I find it a bit stressful getting them ( stupid I know) but I just feel a bit guilty about it even though some of my reasons are quite good ones. My boys are pretty feral too, I think they’re nuts wanting them there to begin with ,they’ll play up . Blame the generation before me for having 10 kids who then had an average of 3 each… makes for a hefty headcount on the cousin front ! and one of my cousins is a serial wedding haver! I can’t remember if it’s her 3rd or 4th rodeo this year. She could have bought herself a house outright with the money instead. Yes I judge her, not sorry.

Not at all I hate weddings too mine was like yours only 3/4 people knew I was getting married

Strugglingtodomybest · 23/06/2023 15:50

Omg OP, I think I love you! Seriously, well done for not rising to the more immature responses you've got, some of them made me wonder if schools have broken up. Bet you wish you never used the phrase eco-warrior though don't you?!

I think your lifestyle sounds great, I live in Cornwall too and recognise it as not being that unusual.

I also hate the stuffy-style weddings that you described, I can't bear wearing dresses and shoes either. The last one I got invited to specified that all the ladies wore hats too. That was a hard no from me. And no, I doubt I was missed.

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