Partner leaving me because I called him a cunt

[harrycantdrive]

I’m 6 months pregnant. Around 12 weeks into my pregnancy my partner stopped being positive and happy about it and became distant and quiet, lots of silent treatment, too much drinking (in my opinion anyway) etc etc. On a few occasions I called him a cunt for being so nasty to me without explanation. I text it a few times too. Since then we talked more and I thought we had got back to how things were, however, he came home drunk yesterday and I said this is the start of awful behaviour again, to which he said ‘it will give you an excuse to call me a cunt again…’ I then said I thought he was being a cunt previously and if he starts being nasty again I will think he is a cunt again. (Yes I am aware how childish this sounds written down). He’s now said today that actually he doesn’t want to be with someone who could have called him that and he’s leaving. I am too exhausted to even begin to argue or reason with him. I’m devastated that I will be alone while pregnant, I never wanted that for me or our baby. I keep feeling guilty that I have ruined our family unit by what I said and then the next moment I think hang on, this isn’t on me, he’s been a terrible partner and I lashed out. I get that the relationship is over now regardless, I can’t look at him the same way anymore, but I now carry this consuming guilt that if I hadn’t snapped and used such terrible language that maybe we would have resolved things. I’m so tired and sad.

And the op doesn’t need to come back here is you need validation from the op then that’s your issue not hers

Aw, right in the feelz man

cheers for that, it made me laugh

gamer "chick" stop while you're ahead

not that you are

nobody should be kind and caring to horrible people, op is acting weird now, can't imagine things getting better for him

54% voted yabu, so that's that

The op said clearly for sometime her partner was giving her the silent treatment and being horrible towards her and she tried to be understanding

this is quite typical of perpetrators to act the victim the way the op’s partner was treating her is cruel

as for mn voting 54% yabu I’m not surprised the amount of bullying on here is shameful at times. It can get ridiculous you only need to have a look at the nonsense some posted on the thread about a toddler eating pizza

best of luck to the op you will be fine I know it doesn’t feel this way right now but you will be better to be alone than a man who is cruel

I wouldn't use that word to anyone, nor would I allow it used to me.

The relationship sounds toxic, best it ends.

I agree with this - I feel like he’s almost gaslighting you by pretending he’s done nothing wrong and you’re the only one who has done wrong .

I don’t agree with name calling but I think a lot of people are being overly dismissive of what you had to tolerate in the lead up to calling him that.

I feel he was looking for an excuse to leave you. Either that or he’s trying to bully you into silence for when he next acts out.

Yeah, I probably would've called him a cunt too. You're better off without the cunt.

He isn’t leaving because of anything you said.

He is leaving because he can’t cope.

Given that his stress response is to get drunk and be horrid to you, you are best off out of it.

Imagine having to protect your child from him.

Check out the Freedom Programme, I think it's a Woman's Aid thing and I think you will benefit. He really was abusive and did a nice little number on you.

Oh, and he WAS a cunt, no black and white here no matter what others might believe.