AIBU to not want to share a room with my boss?!

[NotASharer]

Hello!

I realise this may sounds rather trivial but I'm really hacked off about it, I'm winding myself up and need to vent.

I'm going about 5 hours across the country in a few weeks to do a training course and this morning accommodation was booked, only to realise that they have booked myself (F28) and my boss (F38) a twin room! I asked prior to sending the request that I have my own room, thinking that they wouldn't even dream of making us share.

When the booking team sent the twin room back, I said, in a nice way: 'No offence, but I'd really rather have my own room and my own space!' and she emailed them back requesting that. Booking team replied and said no, we have to share as there aren't any rooms left apart from twins and because of the cost!

I've checked the website and there are plenty of rooms left so we wouldn't have to share. I've shared my thoughts with my boss and said I thought it was a bit ridiculous, they have never expected our male team members to share a room so why do we have to?

She looks fairly put out and a bit offended by how P'd off I am about it, which I just find totally bizarre and now I'm not sure how much I can push for my own room. She keeps saying 'oh it'll be fine!' which yes, I realise it's not the worst thing in the world.

I really like her as a person but I would REALLY rather not share a room with my boss for 3 days and spend every waking moment with her, she is a sleep in, get up 15 minutes before she needs to leave, throw some clothes on kind of person. Whereas I'm a get up at 5:30/6am, go for a walk/run and have a coffee in peace kind of person.

Can't even fart in peace 😂

I do have the option of speaking to the director about it tomorrow and telling him I feel uncomfortable about it but the twin room is booked now so not sure if it would be a massive hassle and I should just grin and bear it.

I'm absolutely dreading it. I adore my own space. I don't even sleepover at friends houses 😂I was quite looking forward to star fishing in the middle of a big double bed without DH's snoring for a few nights!

AIBU?!

YABU - Get over it!!!
YANBU - I would rather sleep in my car than share a room with my boss 😂

Would you be willing to pay the difference to get your own room

Unfortunately I have known travel and expenses people who consider all types of business travel as a perk. And expect the traveller to be grateful that they get to stay in a hotel at all.

Why should she? It's a work trip.

You know some real mugs then.

This. I'm not precious at all and have bunked and shared in all sort of places in my youth, but at 45 I'm well past sharing with anyone I don't know very well or choose to. And certainly not to save work an extra room.

My employer get us to fill in a form before organised training with an overnight stay and there is a box to say "would you be willing to share a twin room with a colleague" then "if yes with whom" but no pressure to say yes if you don't want to, which I think is the only acceptable way to do this.

Oh give over ffs 😂

Only applicable if the male employees are also paying this supplement.

Can you check if there is a policy on overnight stays op? Do you know of the other staff going are sharing too?

Also the late trains- I'd not be rushing back to make that one, if you miss it, the company can pay. How will you get home from the station? Surely it's a health and safety issue.

Your company sounds very poor.

God, I completely missed the part about men not being expected to share.

What the actual fuckety fuck!

I would be raising a complaint with HR on grounds of sex discrimination.

How dare they!

Because the men aren't being made to share. It's pretty obvious.

You missed the part about men not having to share because it isn’t there. OP has said that nobody has ever been expected to share before this one time.

So are the men sharing rooms or not? Presumably there are men going to this event.

It has gone through my head but to be honest I'm moving house the week before. My salary is 25k a year, I deal with the expenses of the meetings and conferences our branch organise and sometimes lunch and refreshments for the senior leadership team on one day is the equivalent to price it would be for me to have my own room. So I feel it's a bit unjustified knowing what else they hemorrhage money on, they can't spare the money for me to be comfortable 🙄

Of course they can spare the money, they are being dreadful cheeky fuckers and God only knows what possessed your boss to agree to this rather than telling them not to be so fucking ridiculous and book everyone their own room, as any serious organisation would.

So men don't have to share but women do, bollocks to that. I would refuse to go to be honest, you're colleagues not friends so inappropriate.

Assume this is trolling.

If genuine, once you put the gin down, perhaps you could reflect on what your own stellar contributions to the war effort would have been. Leaving bizarre, non sequiturs on internet forums would not have been helpful.

OP this is completely batshit and I’m sorry the miserable company you work for has put you in the position. I wouldn’t be going if the only option was sharing with my boss, absolutely no chance.

I would decline the training. I’m very laid back but sharing a room is a hard no.

It's really ok to not choose to shit with only a plywood door between you and your boss. Or snore or fart or turn out your lights simultaneously with a cheery wave.

Lack of experience and lack of imagination I think. Travel policy written by people who don't travel for business.

Thankfully I no longer regularly travel for work.

I would refuse to attend. They have chosen to set up training not at your location. So they should have factored in the cost of hotels and transport

Gnome is correct. Whilst I won’t shame the very well known company every so often Travel and Expenses Dept used to come up with stupid and often unsafe ideas. I wouldn’t stay in a Travelodge on a motorway because once I did stay with a colleague (separate rooms) but someone tried to get into my room after I had checked in.

Service Stations late at night aren’t great and obviously checking into a room at 2100 as a lone female is clear for all to see who are hanging around.

Never did it again and used to drive 450 miles in one day to avoid. I had bosses who were great and flexible and others who followed the Expenses Team Policy to the letter.

It wasnt always like that. In the beginning we had a reasonable allowance and arranged our own hotels and then company did a deal with Travelodge. Still had to pay ourselves and then claim back.

Several years ago I was on a professional trip -- it wasn't for my employer but a sort of enrichment/development thing, competitive, I was very grateful to be chosen along with about 20 others.

On a trip to South America that was part of the program, those who were married were permitted to bring their spouses if the spouse paid their own airfare. It was announced that those of us who were single were expected to share! (The institution that sponsored this program was paying all expenses.)

We rebelled! Why should some of us have to sleep/toilet/dress etc in close quarters with virtual strangers while the married ones enjoyed a private room with their loved one?

We singles pointed out that perhaps the married couples should be split up, women sharing with single women and men sharing with the single men, to consolidate to fewer rooms, if saving expense were such a huge deal. Or, for spouses to not be permitted to attend, which would obviate the need for extra beds for them at the program's expense.

We were looked at as though we had sprouted two heads. Just another example of "married privilege."

As it turned out, the executive assistant of the program heard our pleas & took it upon herself to book individual rooms for all single people, and the director of the program made no further mention of it. But we were still angry at the implication that our privacy was expendable, while the privacy of married people was not.

Huge no. No no and no.

Yanbu. My first request when doing residential trips with school is single rooms for the accompanying staff, no negotiation on that.

Because if women don't stand up for equal rights we will lose any ground we have gained over the last 150 years. I'm always astounded by people not able to understand this.