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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want to share a room with my boss?!

263 replies

NotASharer · 20/06/2023 15:33

Hello!

I realise this may sounds rather trivial but I'm really hacked off about it, I'm winding myself up and need to vent.

I'm going about 5 hours across the country in a few weeks to do a training course and this morning accommodation was booked, only to realise that they have booked myself (F28) and my boss (F38) a twin room! I asked prior to sending the request that I have my own room, thinking that they wouldn't even dream of making us share.

When the booking team sent the twin room back, I said, in a nice way: 'No offence, but I'd really rather have my own room and my own space!' and she emailed them back requesting that. Booking team replied and said no, we have to share as there aren't any rooms left apart from twins and because of the cost!

I've checked the website and there are plenty of rooms left so we wouldn't have to share. I've shared my thoughts with my boss and said I thought it was a bit ridiculous, they have never expected our male team members to share a room so why do we have to?

She looks fairly put out and a bit offended by how P'd off I am about it, which I just find totally bizarre and now I'm not sure how much I can push for my own room. She keeps saying 'oh it'll be fine!' which yes, I realise it's not the worst thing in the world.

I really like her as a person but I would REALLY rather not share a room with my boss for 3 days and spend every waking moment with her, she is a sleep in, get up 15 minutes before she needs to leave, throw some clothes on kind of person. Whereas I'm a get up at 5:30/6am, go for a walk/run and have a coffee in peace kind of person.

Can't even fart in peace 😂

I do have the option of speaking to the director about it tomorrow and telling him I feel uncomfortable about it but the twin room is booked now so not sure if it would be a massive hassle and I should just grin and bear it.

I'm absolutely dreading it. I adore my own space. I don't even sleepover at friends houses 😂I was quite looking forward to star fishing in the middle of a big double bed without DH's snoring for a few nights!

AIBU?!

YABU - Get over it!!!
YANBU - I would rather sleep in my car than share a room with my boss 😂

OP posts:
Misty84 · 20/06/2023 18:48

There’s no way I would want to share with my boss!!! No matter how friendly we were. It’s not professional and I’d never be able to fully relax! You stick up for yourself 💪

Mariposa26 · 20/06/2023 18:48

Awful! They can’t expect you to give up your free time to attend a work trip and share a room.

herbygarden · 20/06/2023 18:50

YANBU!! Unbelievable!!

Samamfia · 20/06/2023 18:52

Tell them you have a tendency to shout loudly and suddenly during your sleep in the middle of the night.
If they don’t give you a single room, actually do some midnight shouting. “WE AREN’T ALONE”, maybe. Or “THE OVEN IS ON”.
They won’t put you in a shared room again 😉

hangsangwitch · 20/06/2023 18:54

I work for a charity, so teeny tiny budgets. We sometimes take groups of teenagers on trips to PGL type places and even then we all get our own rooms. If we get back late, then we are told to have a lie in the next day.

GreenMarigold · 20/06/2023 18:55

YANBU. My work once expected me to share a double bed with my work colleague!! She was fine with it but I was not!

We ended up sharing the room as there really were no others spare but I got the hotel to set up a camp bed for me. I still wasn’t comfortable with the situation but put up with it as it was only for one night.

Definitely object.

LadyJ2023 · 20/06/2023 18:55

No way would I be sharing I guess I would pay for my own if I had to thats just weird to me

Daffodil92 · 20/06/2023 18:56

YANBU. I’d hate this! Good luck

SlightlyJaded · 20/06/2023 18:59

Yeah - not doing that.

I travel for work a lot and that has never ever been suggested. I would send a polite, but clear email to the relevant person and kill it dead.

Something like:

Dear XXX

Regarding the forthcoming trip and suggestion of me room sharing with XXX,
I am afraid that I am not comfortable with sharing a room with anyone and need some privacy at night. This is nothing to do with whom I down to share with but a personal requirement that is not something I am prepared to compromise on.

Please can you arrange a single room - no frills is fine - for the duration of my stay.

Regards
NotASharer

Cakeandcardio · 20/06/2023 19:00

Fuck that. No way would I want a colleague to see me with no make up and my bra off. Never mind hearing me snore or fart in my sleep. My best friends don't even see that. It's absolutely inappropriate for your company to ask. If they absolutely cannot get another room then I think you should pull out.

Witchbitch20 · 20/06/2023 19:02

Absolutely ridiculous!

And if you do it once it potentially becomes something they’ll assume you will do every time.

Mother87 · 20/06/2023 19:02

Totally unnacceptible & I'd never attend an event under these circumstances!! The thought of sharing a room/bathroom/sleeping and getting ready sounds hideous!!

Mother87 · 20/06/2023 19:04

Iheartmysmart · 20/06/2023 15:37

I wouldn’t go. My boss is also one of my oldest friends and I still wouldn’t share a room with her.

Same here. We still attend the odd work event together & she suggested we share for the last one. I immediately vetoed the idea & she's booking separate accommodation for the next one

LlynTegid · 20/06/2023 19:05

You have your own room or you don't go. End of, not negotiable.

LittleOwl153 · 20/06/2023 19:05

Daily rest
Workers have the right to 11 hours rest between working days, eg if they finish work at 8pm, they shouldn’t start work again until 7am the next day. - Government website...

So you would not be expected to be in work before 10.45am assuming you get home on time and travel time back to your home counts in this when you've been working away.

Oh and a seasoned work traveller... no no way would I room share. If you are not used to this time of trip it will be exhausting enough without any added pressure.

OnceUponATimeInChristmasTime · 20/06/2023 19:06

Absolutely not a chance would I do this. It would be bad enough with a colleague but would be a definite 'no' from me with my boss.
I understand you feel uncomfortable pushing back on this and think you could offend your boss but I wouldn't be going on that trip unless they booked a separate room.
I'd be tempted to say I snore/sleep walk/have a Cpap machine/ have horrific night terrors and wouldn't want to disturb anyone.

Shinyandnew1 · 20/06/2023 19:10

they have never expected our male team members to share a room so why do we have to?

When did the last training course happen where men have been given their own room-was it recently?

princesscaraboo · 20/06/2023 19:11

I wouldn't go if I had to share and I'd make that explicitly clear.

There's no way I'd be comfortable sharing with a colleague, as you say you couldn't even fart in peace!

Minniliscious · 20/06/2023 19:14

I would absofuckinglutely not share with any colleague ever! The thought feels me with horror. I had to endure a 4 hour flight with a former boss before and it was sheer hell.

After a stressful day spent with colleagues, you’d want to go to your room, watch telly and just switch off. How could you do this whilst sharing with a colleague? My nightmare would be someone that didn’t shut the fuck up.

MadCatLady27 · 20/06/2023 19:14

Absolutely no way would I be comfortable sharing a room with a colleague I wouldn't feel able to relax

God forbid a fart slipped out, or you need to take a dump when they are right next door

You're 2 professionals not children!

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 20/06/2023 19:14

Ponderingwindow · 20/06/2023 15:41

This is a hill to die on situation for me. it is completely inappropriate.

Agree.

Tell your director "There's been a bit of a mixup. Boss and I are booked into the same room, although plenty of rooms are available per the hotel website. Can you please instruct the (booking person) to get us each our own room? Or would you prefer I book my own and submit a reimbursement request?"

If they pressure you, say that you have medical reasons for needing privacy. Which is not untrue, a decent night's sleep is a health issue, not to mention privacy for toilet functions and the like.

If they refuse, I'd simply refuse the trip. It's nothing personal about your boss.

Jl2014 · 20/06/2023 19:22

No you should absolutely not have to share with your boss. This is absurd. Say no!!

almondblossom1 · 20/06/2023 19:28

i'd refuse - are you in a union? they could step in if so - no way would i share a room with anyone bar my husband it's to intrusive! im going away with friends of almost 50 years soon and we all have our own rooms !

Budikka · 20/06/2023 19:28

I would book one of the free rooms and say your partner/mum/relative booked it for you without asking. It is horrible to have to pay yourself, but will be better than having to share and some (alternative) good luck might come your way to compensate you in monetary terms.

thisthenthat · 20/06/2023 19:29

No way would I do this! If you're going away for work you should have the same level of comfort as at home.

I know of someone else whose work tried this and she told them she suffered with IBS.

I'd point blank refuse.

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