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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want to share a room with my boss?!

263 replies

NotASharer · 20/06/2023 15:33

Hello!

I realise this may sounds rather trivial but I'm really hacked off about it, I'm winding myself up and need to vent.

I'm going about 5 hours across the country in a few weeks to do a training course and this morning accommodation was booked, only to realise that they have booked myself (F28) and my boss (F38) a twin room! I asked prior to sending the request that I have my own room, thinking that they wouldn't even dream of making us share.

When the booking team sent the twin room back, I said, in a nice way: 'No offence, but I'd really rather have my own room and my own space!' and she emailed them back requesting that. Booking team replied and said no, we have to share as there aren't any rooms left apart from twins and because of the cost!

I've checked the website and there are plenty of rooms left so we wouldn't have to share. I've shared my thoughts with my boss and said I thought it was a bit ridiculous, they have never expected our male team members to share a room so why do we have to?

She looks fairly put out and a bit offended by how P'd off I am about it, which I just find totally bizarre and now I'm not sure how much I can push for my own room. She keeps saying 'oh it'll be fine!' which yes, I realise it's not the worst thing in the world.

I really like her as a person but I would REALLY rather not share a room with my boss for 3 days and spend every waking moment with her, she is a sleep in, get up 15 minutes before she needs to leave, throw some clothes on kind of person. Whereas I'm a get up at 5:30/6am, go for a walk/run and have a coffee in peace kind of person.

Can't even fart in peace 😂

I do have the option of speaking to the director about it tomorrow and telling him I feel uncomfortable about it but the twin room is booked now so not sure if it would be a massive hassle and I should just grin and bear it.

I'm absolutely dreading it. I adore my own space. I don't even sleepover at friends houses 😂I was quite looking forward to star fishing in the middle of a big double bed without DH's snoring for a few nights!

AIBU?!

YABU - Get over it!!!
YANBU - I would rather sleep in my car than share a room with my boss 😂

OP posts:
billy1966 · 20/06/2023 15:57

Aquamarine1029 · 20/06/2023 15:51

Today, absolutely, and completely inappropriate to expect an employee to share a room with a colleague.

As a pp said, this is a hill I would 100% die on. I would be going straight to HR and the director.

This.

Completely unacceptable and in my opinion could be viewed as coercive as you are being made to feel you have to accept something that is deeply uncomfortable.

I would be seriously unimpressed.

A good employer would not insist on this.

I would also mention that you were lied to about room unavailability.

Bearpawk · 20/06/2023 15:57

You're not on a school trip, that'd be a hard no from me and I wouldn't feel bad about saying so.

Sparkletastic · 20/06/2023 15:57

Completely unacceptable. I would say my attendance is dependent on having my own room.

mrsbyers · 20/06/2023 15:57

I would refuse to go but due to medical reasons I wouldn’t expect to be put in that position anyway

Barold · 20/06/2023 15:58

Absolutely no way. And I consider my boss a friend.

Put your foot down.

billy1966 · 20/06/2023 15:58

Email HR.

Lay it out and create a paper trail.

gogohmm · 20/06/2023 15:58

Depends on what the norm is for your company. Sharing especially if in London isn't unheard of, sometimes it's the condition of being able to attend. You should however have been told this in advance

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 20/06/2023 15:59

It's completely inappropriate to expect any two colleagues to share a bedroom, regardless of their status in the organisation.

If the company can't afford to pay for two rooms then one of you doesn't go.

SchoolQuestionnaire · 20/06/2023 15:59

Absolutely not.

they have never expected our male team members to share a room so why do we have to?

I’d be asking HR this exact question.

CuriousGeorge80 · 20/06/2023 16:00

Absolutely not. None negotiable. And I say that as a person who works in a big corporate and generally do as required by the business. But I would be clear I have my own room or I don’t go. End of.

CheeseandTrees · 20/06/2023 16:03

I don't own pyjamas so it would be a bit awkward if I shared with my boss.

I don't think it's appropriate to share rooms for work events. I don't even share a room with close friends when we go away.

Aquamarine1029 · 20/06/2023 16:03

Completely unacceptable and in my opinion could be viewed as coercive as you are being made to feel you have to accept something that is deeply uncomfortable.

I agree with this. It's like a low-key form of bullying if they know you're uncomfortable with it.

lurchermummy · 20/06/2023 16:04

YADNBU you are entitled to some down time and sharing with a work colleague is not appropriate

ghostofchristmasfuture · 20/06/2023 16:06

Completely unacceptable! You're not children. I once went on a work trip and they tried to make me share a double bed with a female colleague. I was like, What the fuck?! Don't do it. And I agree that they wouldn't make two men share.

TattiePants · 20/06/2023 16:06

The only person I share a room with is DH because he can put up with my insomnia. If I wouldn't share a room with my DM or friend there's no way I'd share with a colleague.

TheOrigRights · 20/06/2023 16:06

So the men don't have to share, but the women do?
Fuck that.

Didn't your boss have any input in this?
YANBU, there is no way I'd share with a colleague. Ever.

AlinaSquareQueen · 20/06/2023 16:08

YANBU in the slightest.

There are only two people in the entire world I would personally share a room with, and that’s either/both of my two DC.

So, in your shoes, I would not be attending.

AlisonDonut · 20/06/2023 16:09

Totally inappropriate and I'd be letting them know I wouldn't be able to attend until they book appropriate accommodation.

FlappyFish · 20/06/2023 16:11

I echo everyone else. No way. Utterly unacceptable no matter what your level in an organisation. Doesn’t matter whether it’s smaller or larger.

CC4712 · 20/06/2023 16:17

Absolutely not. I wouldn't feel comfortable wandering about without my bra, let alone MANY other reasons not to share with someone- even more so your boss!

Not trying to lessen your situation, but we had an away day. No one knew till the day where we were staying. The 1st bus too us to a nicer hotel, with private room, but those finishing later in the evening, were sent to the overflow hotel.

It was on a motorway, and more like a rent-by-the-hour establishment! My 2 female colleagues arrived (1 very religious) to find a man from another team also allocated the same room. There was double bed and a thread bare pull out sofa. The 2 ladies paid for their own rooms elsewhere- which took months to get reimbursed.

Greentree1 · 20/06/2023 16:18

Pay for your own room or go halves with the boss for a second room. The men I used to work with always had to share, fortunately as the only woman I got my own room. If it's the company policy that when possible people share to save money, they probably wont shift.

WillyLows · 20/06/2023 16:18

Flat no to sharing a room with a boss. It's inappropriate.

theemmadilemma · 20/06/2023 16:18

I've done a reasonable amount of business travel and I cannot think of one example where sharing a hotel room would be thought of as acceptable.

My DH and some collegues shared an apartment once by agreement - seperate bedrooms. That's the closest I've heard of.

Expecting professional adults to share hotel rooms is just a massive fat no from me.

Tdcp · 20/06/2023 16:22

I categorically would not go. I wouldn't want to share a room with anyone, I could maybe do it with a specific colleague but that's at a push. Completely unacceptable in my opinion.

maryberryslayers · 20/06/2023 16:22

Completely and utterly inappropriate and unprofessional.

Is it just the two of you on the course?

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