AIBU to not want to share a room with my boss?!

[NotASharer]

Hello!

I realise this may sounds rather trivial but I'm really hacked off about it, I'm winding myself up and need to vent.

I'm going about 5 hours across the country in a few weeks to do a training course and this morning accommodation was booked, only to realise that they have booked myself (F28) and my boss (F38) a twin room! I asked prior to sending the request that I have my own room, thinking that they wouldn't even dream of making us share.

When the booking team sent the twin room back, I said, in a nice way: 'No offence, but I'd really rather have my own room and my own space!' and she emailed them back requesting that. Booking team replied and said no, we have to share as there aren't any rooms left apart from twins and because of the cost!

I've checked the website and there are plenty of rooms left so we wouldn't have to share. I've shared my thoughts with my boss and said I thought it was a bit ridiculous, they have never expected our male team members to share a room so why do we have to?

She looks fairly put out and a bit offended by how P'd off I am about it, which I just find totally bizarre and now I'm not sure how much I can push for my own room. She keeps saying 'oh it'll be fine!' which yes, I realise it's not the worst thing in the world.

I really like her as a person but I would REALLY rather not share a room with my boss for 3 days and spend every waking moment with her, she is a sleep in, get up 15 minutes before she needs to leave, throw some clothes on kind of person. Whereas I'm a get up at 5:30/6am, go for a walk/run and have a coffee in peace kind of person.

Can't even fart in peace 😂

I do have the option of speaking to the director about it tomorrow and telling him I feel uncomfortable about it but the twin room is booked now so not sure if it would be a massive hassle and I should just grin and bear it.

I'm absolutely dreading it. I adore my own space. I don't even sleepover at friends houses 😂I was quite looking forward to star fishing in the middle of a big double bed without DH's snoring for a few nights!

AIBU?!

YABU - Get over it!!!
YANBU - I would rather sleep in my car than share a room with my boss 😂

You are not contracted to increase profitability of your company by instrusions on your personal space.
not your job.
”I will not be attending this xyz, unless i am treated with professionalism, dignity and respect in accommodating me in a room on my own. That is the companies decision, but I will not be making travel arrangements until my own room is confirmed”
too many people put up this bullshit before you so they think they can do it
fgs, you could have a disability, a personal health problem, snorer, or suffer (as I do) form IBS. You choose who you want to sleep with once you leave your parents house and no one after that should treat you like a child and tell you to share the most intimidate parts of your daily life.
they’re basically also using sex discrimination. If your boss was male they’d know to not even consider this, they’re only doing it because you are 2 women (or could be 2 men) and therefore they’re making you uncomfortable and stressed as a result of both your sexes

hey, you could start announcing your pronouns as he/him and say you feel “triggered” by them assuming you are a women 🤷🏼‍♀️🤣

Quite a lot of colleagues used to rent a joint AirBnB or similar when I worked somewhere where people were away a lot - meant they had somewhere to kick back and didn't have to eat hotel food for weeks on end. But everyone 100% had their own bedroom.

I don't sleep in the same bed as my husband it makes me panicky! 🤷‍♀️

For 3 whole nights…no escape??!! It’s outrageous and I wouldn’t go under those conditions.

I also wouldn’t sleep a wink worrying the boss might sleepwalk and get into my bed...and my digestive system would panic at the prospect of using the toilet with boss right outside the door (sometimes there is virtually no privacy or fan noise). Plus I have digestive issues anyway and the first 20-30 mins after I lie down, the air usually starts coming up my windpipe loudly 😳 I’d be mortified.

Just say it’s down to personal reasons!

I would be more pissed that your human resources are lying to you about no empty rooms…trust gone!

Perhaps two of the men could share a room instead of the two women?

I also feel like her being your boss makes it worse. Like, it'll feel more like her room and you're just the guest in it.

Lots of people seem to have bowel issues! It’s probably some twat in HR or Finance thinking they can make a name for themselves by ‘saving’ the company money.

It’s insulting to employees and your boss should know better! Wonder why she wants to share with you?

They either book another room or you don't go, it's simple.

Say you suffer from chronic insomnia and it would be unfair on the pair of you to share.

I couldn't do it.

Yanbu

they would never do that to adult men

I booked some places like this before for me and a colleague but as well as own bedroom we also wanted own bathroom.

Yes @Tracker1234 I'm another one with bowel issues and I need a bit of privacy (and time!) to deal with them, especially on a work trip where I might not have much choice of what to eat.

I absolutely wouldn't share a room with my boss or a colleague under any circumstances.

I think it's ridiculous that they would expect employees to sleep in the same room, just wouldn't happen. It possibly opens people up to all kinds of allegations too.

I was a support manager for a company that sent top sales leaders on cruise vacations. I was expected to share a tiny cruise cabin w/ a co-worker for 7 days/nights. I declined and my manager (a real douche of a man) said, "Well, you're going to lose out on your vacation." I laughed internally as I'd already had a private family vacation booked and approved in the near future. No idea why he thought 12-hour days managing a sales crew while sharing a cabin w/ a co-worker was any kind of fun. I had ZERO regrets.

This is a hill I would indeed choose to die on.

How DARE they assume it's okay for you to share a room with a colleague! Are they aware of your personal history? Do they know 100% you do not have any past trauma which precludes you from being comfortable in this situation? Are they privy to your medical records? Do they know if you require use of a CPAP machine when you sleep and are comfortable divulging that information to your colleague? Do they know if you sleep walk and could potentially find yourself in an embarrassing situation with a colleague? Do they know if you suffer from work related anxiety? Do they know if you suffer from Crohn's disease and will require frequent use of the bathroom throughout the night?

There is absolutely no way I'd share a room with ANYONE (other than my immediate family).

OP as others have said you need to make it clear that they either sort this or you don't go.

As a member of staff I've never had to share on a school trip. In fact last time I had a whole dorm block to myself as there weren't enough staff bedrooms (all singles) in the block with our students.

Absolutely no chance. I'm surprised it is even acceptable within their policy.

I couldn't care less if they had to cancel and rebook at 10x the cost - it's their error, not yours.

YANBU. I had to share a tent with my boss once!!! Never ever ever again.

I recently went on a school trip for 5 nights. All the staff shared rooms. It was weird. Fortunately I've known my room mate for 20 years and we gave each other space. But it was deeply bizarre.

Just tell them own room or not going.

Wow! I got my own room last time but only because I was the only female!

Another teacher had to drop out and they wanted this female TA to replace him so I made it very clear that if they expected me to share a room I wouldn't be going! Given I was leading the trip then they agreed!

The last 3 conferences that I have attended I've been able to find cheaper (and more convenient) accommodation than the company line.
See if you can find something more appropriate for you and your boss and they can't argue. Undoubtedly she'll thank you too.

@towriteyoumustlive They did ask me to share once - with an NQT I'd never met from another school (we go as a cluster) but, like you, I said if I had to share I wouldn't be going.
I think it's absolutely unreasonable to ask grown adults not related to each other to share a room - not even sure how comfortable I'd be sharing with my mum/sister these days to be honest!

I would never share a room past being a young adult unless with dh , dc or best friend.

If you went to a hotel and they put you in with a stranger there would be merry hell to pay and people would refuse. Why do companies and these presumably are not small ones think this is acceptable?

Snowflake. God knows how we'd have won the war with this attitude.

Is this a serious comment??