AIBU to not want to share a room with my boss?!

[NotASharer]

Hello!

I realise this may sounds rather trivial but I'm really hacked off about it, I'm winding myself up and need to vent.

I'm going about 5 hours across the country in a few weeks to do a training course and this morning accommodation was booked, only to realise that they have booked myself (F28) and my boss (F38) a twin room! I asked prior to sending the request that I have my own room, thinking that they wouldn't even dream of making us share.

When the booking team sent the twin room back, I said, in a nice way: 'No offence, but I'd really rather have my own room and my own space!' and she emailed them back requesting that. Booking team replied and said no, we have to share as there aren't any rooms left apart from twins and because of the cost!

I've checked the website and there are plenty of rooms left so we wouldn't have to share. I've shared my thoughts with my boss and said I thought it was a bit ridiculous, they have never expected our male team members to share a room so why do we have to?

She looks fairly put out and a bit offended by how P'd off I am about it, which I just find totally bizarre and now I'm not sure how much I can push for my own room. She keeps saying 'oh it'll be fine!' which yes, I realise it's not the worst thing in the world.

I really like her as a person but I would REALLY rather not share a room with my boss for 3 days and spend every waking moment with her, she is a sleep in, get up 15 minutes before she needs to leave, throw some clothes on kind of person. Whereas I'm a get up at 5:30/6am, go for a walk/run and have a coffee in peace kind of person.

Can't even fart in peace 😂

I do have the option of speaking to the director about it tomorrow and telling him I feel uncomfortable about it but the twin room is booked now so not sure if it would be a massive hassle and I should just grin and bear it.

I'm absolutely dreading it. I adore my own space. I don't even sleepover at friends houses 😂I was quite looking forward to star fishing in the middle of a big double bed without DH's snoring for a few nights!

AIBU?!

YABU - Get over it!!!
YANBU - I would rather sleep in my car than share a room with my boss 😂

I'd hate this.

I went on a work trip abroad for a few days a few years back and I was very clear that I wanted my own room (I also went with my boss who I am very fold of but didn't want to share a room with).

I occasionally share with very close friends if we do a group break and there aren't enough rooms to all have our own, but I am still picky about which friend I share with and would much prefer my own room.

I also snore so get so paranoid that I am going to wake/keep awake someone else.

My partner is moving in with me soon and I am even dreading that as i am so used to my king size bed and space!

It would be absolute hard no from me too, it’s just not appropriate and very inappropriate of them not to even ask first!

I haven't rtft it wanted to say a resounding YANBU. I wouldn't go. You can make it clear that it's not personal but that you value your personal space. Ridiculous that they've done this to save a few quid. If they want you to attend, cough up the cash to do it properly. Doubt the MD or Chief Exec would be sharing.

I wouldn't go if they made me share a room. No ifs, buts, nada, it's not appropriate at all. Do you have a union at all?

I’m a manager and no way would I share with an employee. Yes, this would be a hill I’d die on.

Hard no, and I too would die on that hill. Not open for negotiation or an excuse. Just no.

There isn't a snowball's chance in hell I'd agree to share a room with my boss, or even another colleague.

No way would I share. I had an employer try the same thing on me years ago. I told them I can’t sleep if I’m sharing a room. They agreed to the request but they knew there was no hope in hell
I’d share with anyone.

I’d simply tell them you either get your own room or you don’t go. End of conversation.

I wouldn't go. I also think you have a great case for sexual discrimination if male staff members have never been asked to share. Put the ball back in their court and ask them to suggest a resolution.

What sort of tinpot set-up doesn’t pay for staff to have a room each for a single night in what is likely to be cheap Travelodge-level accommodation?

Expecting someone to shack up with their boss is deeply inappropriate 😳

And quite, men would never be expected to have these sorts of ludicrous sleepovers.

I worked for a big corporate for many years and whilst it never happened the penny pinching was rife. Think Travelodges on the side of motorways type budget. What actually happened is that people would do 500 miles in one day rather than stay in a £30 Travelodge.

I thought at one point they would start the sharing marlarky but they didn’t. I would have a real issue with this and you are not being daft especially if men aren’t asked to do the same.

Totally inappropriate.

I wouldn't mention male colleagues though. If you were told that they were also expected to share, it would only weaken your position - and wouldn't change the fact that you are not prepared to do so. So on that basis it's irrelevant to your argument.

Sharing a room with a colleague = awkward, inappropriate

Sharing a room with a superior = huge power imbalance there in a confined, intimate setting and therefore a safeguarding concern.

This is what you flag to your HR and your directors. Don't pussyfoot around it with excuses of snoring or bowel issues.

Nope it's not acceptable. I'd keep asking.

My boss is amazing and I probably wouldn’t mind sharing but you are uncomfortable so you need to make sure that you are heard.
It doesn’t matter why, it only matters that you are uncomfortable.

Absolutely fucking not.

I'd book my own room,never sharing with anyone - how weird to share with your boss no thanks

Nope.

6,000 of us at a conference this year, we all had our own rooms.

Absolutely no way would I share.

There is no way on god's green earth I would share a room with a colleague under any circumstances and certainly not whilst other people have the accomodation of privacy.
Say it isn't suitable for you, and other arrangements will need to be made.

I wonder if your boss has told the booking team it’s ok?

I wouldn’t share with a colleague for anything you could pay. I’m going away with a friend in a couple of months and sharing with her only because she also suffers from insomnia. First time I’ve shared a room with anyone for about eight years.

They are already penny pinching on trains, it's a 5 hour journey with multiple changes and they have booked us a train back that we have to rush off for, after a full, intense day of training that gets back at 11:45pm! Rather than another night in the hotel and a comfortable train back the following morning.

I organise a lot of events for the senior leadership team and sometimes lunch alone costs more than it would for another night in the hotel!

No way. I'd have a word with the director tomorrow and say my own room or not going. If there's any argument say you'l' be together for about 18 hours of the 24 daily what with power breakfasts and team-build dinners, and need your own space for the remainder to rest and recharge as is your basic right. Then keep quiet, and let him run out of arguments. Do not fill in any silences. If he keeps asking 'why not' questions, just say 'I refer you to my previous answer'.

Please let us know how it all work out - good luck, stay strong..

@FangsForTheMemory I have a feeling she did. There is a lack of professional boundaries on her part that make me uncomfortable more than I'd like to admit. I'm not a prude and very laid-back but room sharing is definitely where I'm going to need to draw the line.

Thank you, I really appreciate it. I'll let you all know how I get on!