Guess how much money my partner spent..

[Itssnotunusual]

...On his fucking Xbox in the past year. I'm furious. Absolutely furious.

Same. It’s dismal.

Can we also stop advocating for destruction of property too?

Would you be happy if a man came on here and told you he'd burned his partners library because they'd spent too much on books, or burned their craft cupboard for spending too much on supplies. How about selling your car for spending too much on fuel going to visit friends?

Its quite ok to be unhappy with someones obsessive hobby, but suggesting someone destroy their OH's property is atrocious behaviour and criminal damage is never acceptable.

£4000+ , that’s £300+ a month. Huge amount out of his salary. I’d be fuming as well.

Just because its XBox, it doesn't automatically make it a waste of money

Well, no, but it kind of does.

Of course, grown adults can spend their money on what they like, including £500 on an XBox and £60-70 on each game. And you can argue that it's only like spending money on other reasonably pointless consumables like golf clubs or football season tickets or theatre tickets or gigs or whatever...

But spending thousands of pounds on XBox in-game consumables is different because they literally don't exist and are designed purely as a money-suck - an easily accessible way to drain your bank account. They are like the spins of a virtual casino game. Lights and sounds to trigger your endorphins. The value you get from the spend is out of kilter with the value of the other things you mention.

For that £4k, you could see fifty West End shows or buy 400 paperback books. A Premier League season ticket near here costs £600. It's more than three times the cost of an average UK golf club membership. It's about a thousand pints of beer.

So, in this case, it is automatically a waste of money. You can't spend £4k on in-game purchases without wasting it. It's just bullshit money.

Oh so he's fucked off with X box in tow? Says it all! At the point of a marriage breakdown he packs and takes the main issue with him to carry on his obsession. I feel for you OP. I hope you can find a way forward to a happier, independent life.

His money his choice.

Gaming using technology is modern life. Phone, pc or console. Its 2023 the use of technology is very normal now in our every day lives of course some will use it as an interest/to relax etc. Many of us grew up playing them why would we stop? You don’t always stop other interests as you grow…..

It’s a valid past time just as much as physical board games, reading knitting, gardening cycling ( sshhh it’s outing if your husbands do it apparently) and so on. There is a cross over of people who game that also do puzzles.

What gives the ick is when people use their interests to opt out of family life or spend money they don’t have on said habits. I had a friend whose husband got into debt over a certain sporting interest. It happens. Op has dealt with it.

Well done for realising he will only drag you and your son down. It sounds like you've been through the ringer with him and this is you at the end of your tether. Good luck OP but I doubt you will need it. You and your ds will thrive away from him.

£728,000.67?

Gosh £300+ a month is an insult when you have gone into your overdraft to survive and when you are living with your parents to save money for a deposit.

it’s a kick in the teeth perhaps more so because he hid it rather than you knowing about it but disagreeing.

It sounds like you will be financially better off is he was drinking a lot, smoking and spending this amount in the Xbox per month.

im sorry this has happened and I hope you are able to co-parent well

Loving father?

Who takes food from his childs mouth for an Xbox?

He's a complete loser, clearly always was, and always will be.

Your poor son.

At least he's finally gone.

But he’s not a loving partner, is he? Glad he’s gone.

Why? North of 3k is quite enough. Nosey parkery.

Some would argue going to West End shows are a complete waste of money. Just because you don't enjoy them doesn't mean that don't have value.

Different strokes and all that, people like different things.

The only issues here are that he spent money that should have been used for more pressing things and that he tried to hide it.

I’m glad he’s a loving Dad OP but with the spending plus the substance abusive he is not a responsible Dad or a good partner.

Probably his only chance of sorting himself out is being dumped and getting a shock.

I’m glad you have your family around you and can now move on.

There is an enormous male iceberg out there that has calved off from all that is moral, chivalrous and just.

Your cunt of an ex-partner is a branch of a small snowflake that sits within a snowball that rests on one side of the enormous pinnacle that is the 10% of the iceberg visible above the brackish water.

This kind of cuntness is going on everywhere.

Iwould have been tempted to swipe the thing and sell it on ebay

What does a grown adult want with watching fictional soaps about ridiculous situations that normalise affairs and toxic behaviour and shit "reality" TV shows that promote complete fucking airheaded idiots into fame?

At least video games require a damn sight more skill than drooling at a screen while cockney idiots fake screech at each other. A huge amount of them also have incredible, well thought out an interesting storylines involving more than "hur dur my Mum is my sister and she is shagging Kats boyfriend who's also shagging the pub landlady who deals drugs out the back to the token stoner kids lololol".

But of course, it's people who enjoy games that need therapy 🙄

An insightful image and a reminder of why I live in the warm tropical waters of singledom far, far away from the cuntness.

The fact is that it doesn't matter what your partner spent money on OP, he spent money while you struggled raising your child and you made the absolute right decision. Men seem to get to spaff money away on "doing their hobby" whether it be biking, football, any number of wanky sports while women sit and home and look after everything else and it's not on. He needs to learn that he can't do that and it being on gaming is a moot point.

If it had been ANY other "normal" hobby though I can guarantee the reception here would have been far less vitriolic and pearl clutchy.

But you could go to 50 West End shows for the money the OP’s partner has spent, sitting on his arse playing video games.

Even if he could afford it, it’s a shit way to burn through four grand.

He sounds a delight. Smokes, drinks and plays on his Xbox. Does he do anything useful?

The OPs partner has behaved terribly but I don't agree that spending £4k of you own money on computer games IF YOU CAN EASILY AFFORD IT is any worse than a lot of other things. Look how much some women spend on beauty products and treatments or on clothes.

SORRY BUT WTAF your saving for a house deposit and he wasted 4k?????? Now im a gamer and i love gaming but i couldnt steal 4k from the family pot to pay for that shit!!!!! when living with my partners parents so we could buy a house, FUCK HIM

@NotEverORNever but thats the thing, they cant afford it. he only earns 2k a month and its family money not his, they are saving for a house deposit The idiot!!!! 4k spent on games is FINE .. IF your honest about the fact your spending family money that was meant for a house on gaming but he didnt did he, he lied and stole family money to pay for his addiction and im sorry but 4 k in a few months is an addiction.