Guess how much money my partner spent..

[Itssnotunusual]

...On his fucking Xbox in the past year. I'm furious. Absolutely furious.

That could of paid for a family holiday op or to another good use.

I would be Livid also

What exactly is he buying? Games or in game currency?

I'd be selling the Xbox and treating myself to something nice, that's for sure.

That fucking x box would be either on eBay or in the window of the local charity shop.

Sell the x-box immediately and buy something frivolous for yourself.

Selfish prick.

All she would get would be the cost of the console. A few hundred. Nothing compared to what he’s squandered by the sounds of it. But perhaps he has other things you can sell to make the money back OP??

Does it matter if it is his money? That doesn’t justify spending a shitload of money when you have a family with kids. You don’t just spend thousands on crap because “it’s my money not family money”

Do you mean the physical piece of equipment or on games on the Xbox, either way it's lots of money if you have DC together.

How much time does he spend gaming and how much time does he spend parenting and doing household chores ?

That’s a massive breach of trust @Itssnotunusual massive squishes. I’d be so angry/livid/heartbroken that imma slogging my guts out and spending all my money on our family and he’s squirrelling his away to pay for experiences just for him. What a wanker.

how did you find out?

Was he aware of qyite how much he’d spent? Or was it a bit here and there that got out of hand?

I spent £700 on books one year without realising it - on the kindle - £1-3 books here and there (I read a lot).. a few uni books. A nice cookbook or two. I got a yearly round up on what I’d spent over 12 months and was shocked. I no longer buy fiction books and ensure I stick to free e-libraries and my monthly kindle unlimited account. But I wasn’t lying to anyone or hiding money to do it.

massive hugs sorting this out.

Forget about getting the money back, just get rid of him. This man will ruin you.

Yep!!

I couldn't get past the lying about finances, though. How utterly selfish. Not just his wife, but your child(ren?) too - imagine the opportunities and fun they could have had for that kind of money

Not to mention that you've presumably been going without treats too judging from what you said your money is spent on. No, I really couldn't get past this!

I'm guessing it's not just the money that is the issue here, and that a man so addicted to video games that he's secretly spent over a month of the family's joint income on it has more or less checked out of family life too.

It'll be online games, extras, add-on characters and features, tokens, new headsets, controllers, gaming chairs, on and on it goes.

I have a close friend who is the primary carer of her adult son and this is why she has to ration his PIP money, or it would all be gone on X-Box in a couple of days with nothing left for clothes, food, bills, etc.

I'm guessing he's pissing away his time and attention in addition to your family's finances.

Does he pull his weight with childcare and housework OP?

Am confused, has OP stated what he has spent?

That’s a special kind of arsehole who lies about finances and allows his kids to have less because of it.

I’d be bloody incandescent.

More than £3K

£20-30k?

How much has he actually spent op? (And how did you find out?) it’s the lying I would find impossible to stomach rather than the actual cost, but if it’s really hundreds a month, then that’s shocking. Does he have some sort of problem? (I have no idea why those things are so popular, and just don’t get it…)

OK, I get it... lots of money and lies... but it's an addiction. Shouldn't a decent partner at least give you a chance to stop, recover and make amends???

...rather than ltb...

TELL US HOW MUCH HE SPENT, FFS!

Yes, what @PurpleChrayne said

Yes, I was going to say it sounds like he's got an addiction. I think you need to try and talk calmly to him, not criticise but try and get him to see he does have a problem if he's spending so much money on one thing.