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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Guess how much money my partner spent..

291 replies

Itssnotunusual · 19/06/2023 14:29

...On his fucking Xbox in the past year. I'm furious. Absolutely furious.

OP posts:
PeachyPeachTrees · 20/06/2023 21:08

EllaRaines · 19/06/2023 17:11

vitahelp
Anyone else get the ick from grown men being this obsessed with computer games😑
@vitahelp

I think it would be fine for a chap to have an occasional go at playing with his child on a computer game but to play it on his own is just odd.

Give me a man who can do a crossword and play chess, any day!

Men playing computer games is not ick. You know what's actually disgusting? Lying and spending all the family's money.

Florenz · 20/06/2023 21:14

Spending thousands of pounds of money on computer games is no different to losing thousands of pounds gambling. The money's still gone with nothing to show for it.

TeamRR · 20/06/2023 21:17

Florenz · 20/06/2023 21:14

Spending thousands of pounds of money on computer games is no different to losing thousands of pounds gambling. The money's still gone with nothing to show for it.

I was actually going to write a genuine reply to this, then I saw the username.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 20/06/2023 21:22

I've read all your posts op and sorry you're going through this. You are doing the right thing. My child's Dad has addiction issues, you have to have distance from them. He's a good Dad but I need to leave him to get on with it and you do to. Don't grieve the lost Time just focus on moving forward.

Startofit · 20/06/2023 21:26

Florenz · 20/06/2023 19:41

At least people don't spend thousands of pounds watching soap operas.

Something needs to be done about these computer games. They are getting out of control, people get obsessed with them, it's come a long way from paying 10p to play space invaders in the corner of the pub.

Like what? Most people who play them are not addicts who spend large amounts of family money on then.

ReallyTryingTo · 20/06/2023 22:44

He's obviously addicted to his xbox. And although the money is ridiculous, I would have had a discussion with him and told him he obviously can't manage his spending on there, that instead he needs to get rid of the xbox.

Florenz · 20/06/2023 22:47

Startofit · 20/06/2023 21:26

Like what? Most people who play them are not addicts who spend large amounts of family money on then.

So if they go away the people who are not addicts can easily find something else to do with their time (and the small amount of money they spend on these so-called "games").

JediNinja · 20/06/2023 22:50

ConfusingTrousers · 20/06/2023 18:10

Woah. Woah. Relationships are one thing. But if you're suggesting my wood elf's painstakingly decorated home in Elder Scrolls Online is anything other than a work of art I'm afraid I shall have to ask you to step outside.

You are my kind of person 😁

The issue here is that he's spent money they couldn't afford to spend and hid it. Games are not that expensive by themselves (i.e. the actual main game, even if with a subscription). If you calculate how much it costs and how long you play them, they are a lot cheaper than meals out, beers after work, the cinema, etc. But in this particular case, it was the in-game purchases that he kept spending on. He has an addictive personality for what OP says, and this was just an outlet. I find so outdated the idea that games are childish, those who think that have clearly not seen a good variety of games. Storytelling, critical thinking, mind puzzles, teamwork, proper collaborative planning to achieve objectives, building in environments that take into account physics, games for relaxation, games to raise awareness of mental health issues, games that consider neurodiversity, games that replicate historical periods and locations in detail, games that force you to think outside the box, games for pure distraction and make-believe, games that force you to move and be physically active, games for fitness... all of these can be really amazing if you know where to look and what to get.

Startofit · 20/06/2023 23:07

Florenz · 20/06/2023 22:47

So if they go away the people who are not addicts can easily find something else to do with their time (and the small amount of money they spend on these so-called "games").

Go away? How?

Do you also want to ban sugar and junk food and caffeine and sex and painkillers and alcohol and smartphones and shopping because these are all things that people can get addicted to?

Sorry, no one can ever play a game again because someone spend a bunch of money on Fifa?

What I'd like to go away is people making trolling comments on mumsnet. Probably a lot worse than playing a bit of Zelda. But here you are.

Florenz · 20/06/2023 23:12

Maybe not ban them per se but put severe restrictions on them, there should be no money you have to spend on the game after you have paid for it, for instance.

I used to play computer and video games myself but they were just fun games you'd play and then forget about. I can't get my head round the way some people talk about games these days, you get people getting into major arguments about them, even killing each other. Over something that happened in a game. Then there's the money people spend on them.

Marths · 20/06/2023 23:31

Florenz · 20/06/2023 23:12

Maybe not ban them per se but put severe restrictions on them, there should be no money you have to spend on the game after you have paid for it, for instance.

I used to play computer and video games myself but they were just fun games you'd play and then forget about. I can't get my head round the way some people talk about games these days, you get people getting into major arguments about them, even killing each other. Over something that happened in a game. Then there's the money people spend on them.

You're talking like there's an epidemic of people murdering each other over mario kart. 🙄

Marths · 20/06/2023 23:31

But then you do cone across as the kind of person who doesn't like it when other people enjoy different things to you so...

WrinklyDad · 20/06/2023 23:44

Marths · 20/06/2023 23:31

You're talking like there's an epidemic of people murdering each other over mario kart. 🙄

😂

That's just in game. Here comes the red shell....

abmac95 · 21/06/2023 00:01

Unknownunknowns · 19/06/2023 14:32

Was it his money or family money that he spent? As you're so furious I guess it must be family money.

its the same thing surely?

WrinklyDad · 21/06/2023 11:27

No not always. We have our own pots as well as joint pots. We can spend our own pots however we want.

Elfblossom · 21/06/2023 12:14

Oh dear ...this is just sad all round.

You've lost as you say 'a loving partner, a great Dad for your son' and he's lost his home and his family.

It sounds like he has an addictive personality and unfortunately unless he will seek some support and therapy for it, it will just continue on ...

As for the gaming £ ... I have a 14 year old son and we've had some long conversations about the psychology of gaming and how they're set up to be addictive and to suck you in, bleed you dry and spit you out. That's their whole purpose, especially the free to play ones like Fortnite... thankfully, although my son has ADHD and can fall into Hyperfocus mode, it's usually on TV shows!

I hope you can both find a way through this.

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